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Thread: I need advice desperately...

  1. #1
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    I need advice desperately...

    Please for the love of God I do not need anyone to judge me for this because I am terrified so if you are only here to post a sarky comment, please don't. I understand fully I should have been more responsible in advance.

    So I had a friend with benefits for a few months, no feelings there, he ended up getting a girlfriend and we've still kinda remained just friends. I've just found out I'm pregnant and it's his. He was very much a guy who "Didn't want kids yet and wanted to travel the world" and I am completely the same. My issue is that I don't know if I should tell him or not? As awful as it sounds I'll be having an abortion, this isn't the right time for me to have children. I feel like I should tell him but I'm so scared he'll tell people and never want anything to do with me again... What should I do?

    (Please do not judge me I really don't need that right now, yes I accept I was irresponsible and stupid I do not need anyone to point that out, I'm only looking for advice on whether I should tell him or not, that is it) TIA

  2. #2
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    Are you planning to ask him to pay for the procedure? Or for emotional support?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    I vote you don't tell him. Just do what you're going to do and stop talking to him. Get on with your life and Leave him to his girlfriend, get yourself on proper birth control after your procedure and make sure even if you are on BC that the guy wears a rubber.

    If you're not having the baby you don't need to tell him you're aborting but you do need to get him out of your life and leave him to his new girlfriend.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Not being snarky but come on. There is literally no reason to tell him. Youre kinda making a mountain out of a molehill. You said you KNOW he doesnt want children and he will publicly shame you if he knew so what good would it be to tell him? The only reason i could think is because of hopes he will want to keep it and be with you, but you say there were no feelings so again, really dont see the need to tell him. Save yourself the potential emotional turmoil, you are going to need it to go through this process. Surround yourself with loved ones who will support you. Leave him out of it.

    I wish you luck. I really do.

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  6. #5
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    My reason for wanting to tell him was actually for my own peace of mind, not in the hopes he'd be with me. I am very happy for him and that is also another reason why I wasn't sure if I should tell him because I know how happy he is and I couldn't bring myself to destroy that.

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    Hmm. Why is he happy with this other girl and not with you? Just seems like a slap in the face to you.

  8. #7
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    How would telling him give you peace of mind? You know it's going to be upsetting.

  9. #8
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ExoticDance
    My reason for wanting to tell him was actually for my own peace of mind, not in the hopes he'd be with me. I am very happy for him and that is also another reason why I wasn't sure if I should tell him because I know how happy he is and I couldn't bring myself to destroy that.
    Of course it's your call, but I wouldn't tell him.

    On the other hand, since you're both equally responsible for the use of BC, and if you do choose to tell him, keep in mind that this did a number on you as well, and it's not all about him.

    All the best...

  10. #9
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    I vote you don't tell him. Just do what you're going to do and stop talking to him. Get on with your life and Leave him to his girlfriend, get yourself on proper birth control after your procedure and make sure even if you are on BC that the guy wears a rubber.

    If you're not having the baby you don't need to tell him you're aborting but you do need to get him out of your life and leave him to his new girlfriend.
    This good advice!

    Good luck, I hope it all works out!

  11. #10
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    I wouldn’t tell him because it sounds like he wouldn’t care to be honest. I wish you the best of luck.

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