Mandatory for first date contact?

I was discussing this was a friend last night. He said that if you are interested in a girl on the first date you SHOULD always make physical contact. I disagree. Sure I'll give a hug if the date went well and I am interested but other that I don't got for a kiss, or anything physical. I might put my hand on the small of her back, but i don't hold hands, go for a kiss, try to rub her neck or back or anything like that. Yea I'll hold the door open, and pay and everything and tell her she looks pretty but I just don't feel comfortable trying to make alot of physical contact. To me it comes off like maybe I'm wanting sex quickly. I wanna get to know the girl before I make any physical contact with her before it leads anywhere

To me I make the date a relaxed get to know each other type of thing. I know it sounds like an interview but it's not. Like usually on first dates I do something like mini golf, darts and drinks, play pool, something where we can both talk and be doing a activity and joke around.

So tell me. Is it bad that I don't really enjoy physical contact on the first date

I was discussing this was a friend last night. He said that if you are interested in a girl on the first date you SHOULD always make physical contact. I disagree. Sure I'll give a hug if the date went well and I am interested but other that I don't got for a kiss, or anything physical. I might put my hand on the small of her back, but i don't hold hands, go for a kiss, try to rub her neck or back or anything like that. Yea I'll hold the door open, and pay and everything and tell her she looks pretty but I just don't feel comfortable trying to make alot of physical contact. To me it comes off like maybe I'm wanting sex quickly. I wanna get to know the girl before I make any physical contact with her before it leads anywhere

 

To me I make the date a relaxed get to know each other type of thing. I know it sounds like an interview but it's not. Like usually on first dates I do something like mini golf, darts and drinks, play pool, something where we can both talk and be doing a activity and joke around.

 

So tell me. Is it bad that I don't really enjoy physical contact on the first date

I'd just be the same. I wouldn't dream of initiating any personal contact on a first date, like you I would want to get to know the girl first. First date for me is chatting and to see if there is that spark.

I've little experience, but on the last date I went on back in October, she initiated a hug and kissed me on the cheek when leaving (we saw each other for two and half months until she finished it).

I lack confidence so maybe that's a reason I hold back, but I'd also hate to appear pushy or just after sex.

Your friend is wrong.

What's important on a first date is to show respect: show up on time, look your best, look her in the eyes while you're talking, ask her questions about herself, show interest. If you like her, ask her for another date.

For some girls, physical contact that early is creepy and off-putting, for others, it's welcome. Depends on the circumstances. Since you don't really know each other that early on, best to play it safe.

It just depends on so many individual factors. Having a hard and fast rule is kind of unproductive and distracting IMO.

A hug or touching the small of her back IS physical contact.

Your friend is an idiot.

I disagree with your friend. I have never been open to a man kissing me on a first date. I don't know him well enough and I'm not comfortable with it.

I think how you go about things is exactly right.

Your friend should be getting tips from you. Sounds more like boasting/talk than action on his part.

I'm pretty certain that every relationship I've been in has involved physical contact (kissing etc) on the 1st date. For me, if you click with someone, it's natural to want to touch and kiss each other.

I'm not saying I've done that on every first date mind you - I've been on plenty of dates where we haven't really hit it off and so it would seem weird to try to initiate physical contact.

Nope. With the love of my life, there was no contact on the first date - and I think that all contact should be natural. We may have brushed hands when passing eachother something at the table - but besides that -- no. There was no physical contact until the fourth date. The only physical contact should be steadying her if she trips - if that happens, etc, or offering your hand or arm if the first date is a fancy date and she has on stilletos and you are walking across cobblestone.