How important is height?

There'd obviously be no one answer to the question, but in the absence of any females I can ask in real life, I thought I'd try here. I'm 40, a permanently single virgin and am short. Now whether the latter two are connected in any way is difficult to say, bit of a chicken and egg type scenario when it comes to a profound lack of self esteem. I think living in Australia doesn't help either, as I suspect girls here probably have more of a leaning towards a tall tanned outdoorsy physique than in other western countries. I've read that some girls like a guy who's taller than them when in heels, others say just taller than them is fine, others (even short girls) specify a minimum height (usually a good head taller than me!) while for others maybe it's irrelevant. I'm well aware that Tom Cruise, Prince, Napoleon and co are considered short, but if it takes achievements that significant to compensate for a lack of height, then that in itself answers my question! Just thought I'd throw the question out there and see what comes back. Thanks for reading.

I like a tall guy. But my boyfriend is short, and I love him just the way he is.

Napoleon was actually of average height. The idea that he was short was a lie made up by his enemies .

You don’t mention your height. I know many many many pretty short guys who are married. My step dad is 5’6”, my father in law is 5’5”. I know a man who is 5’1” who is married.

Height is a minor issue in attraction.

Btw, my husband is 5’9.5” which is average height of a Canadian man.

And I just checked out the Australian bureau of statistics and you guys have the same average height as Canadian men.

Height isn't THAT important. In my opinion what is more important is that you're comfortable in your own skin. That you like the person who you are. Your attitude will be positive, you'll have confidence and people pick up on that. Add some proper grooming to mix and you'll be even more approachable. It's all about sending out positives vibes, my man.

If you keep trying to over analyze about height, well toned bodies, you'll doubt yourself and that is a turn off.

Napoleon was actually of average height. The idea that he was short was a lie made up by his enemies .

 

You don’t mention your height. I know many many many pretty short guys who are married. My step dad is 5’6”, my father in law is 5’5”. I know a man who is 5’1” who is married.

 

Height is a minor issue in attraction.

Thanks Seraphim, I didn't know that about Napoleon. Thank you too for mentioning some short men you know who have managed to find a partner. It's comforting to know there are at least some women on the planet who don't find us repulsive!

Height isn't THAT important. In my opinion what is more important is that you're comfortable in your own skin. That you like the person who you are. Your attitude will be positive, you'll have confidence and people pick up on that. Add some proper grooming to mix and you'll be even more approachable. It's all about sending out positives vibes, my man.

 

If you keep trying to over analyze about height, well toned bodies, you'll doubt yourself and that is a turn off.

Thank you, Harrowdown. That's comforting to hear. I certainly need to work on my positive vibes...sometimes I walk around trying not to cry, hardly a great image! Thanks again for your reply.

I preferred and ended up marrying a man who is shorter than average. I dated two men who were my height (5"2) and I admit I felt a bit uncomfortable. I also think part of dating is looks -only part -and people have their preferences whether you want to refer to that as shallow or otherwise.

I like a tall guy. But my boyfriend is short, and I love him just the way he is.

Thanks Jibralta, good to know there are girls out there willing to date short guys and even more so to love one, despite that not being their preference. Thank you for replying.

Thanks Jibralta, good to know there are girls out there willing to date short guys and even more so to love one, despite that not being their preference. Thank you for replying.

I wouldn't date anyone who was just "willing" to date me - it's great to be open to dating out of your type but from my understanding Jibralta mean that while her preference was taller guys she met her boyfriend, who is not tall, and was really into him despite her preference.

I preferred and ended up marrying a man who is shorter than average. I dated two men who were my height (5"2) and I admit I felt a bit uncomfortable. I also think part of dating is looks -only part -and people have their preferences whether you want to refer to that as shallow or otherwise.

Thanks Batya, I'm not sure where you're from but from what I can observe here in Australia, looks are a not too insignificant part of dating. Even if everything falls into place, she may not like being seen with a guy my height anyway. It's comforting you married a guy shorter than average all the same though. Plenty of 5'2 girls still want the tall ones. Thank you for replying.

Thank you, Harrowdown. That's comforting to hear. I certainly need to work on my positive vibes...sometimes I walk around trying not to cry, hardly a great image! Thanks again for your reply.

No worries. It is tough and all to easy to fall into a negative feedback loop. I was in a similar place early last year. It got to the point where I only saw my negative qualities. I was bored with my job, life and was desperate for a relationship. Eventually I reached a point where I said it and left my job for a 6 month sabbatical. I focused on myself in that time, stepped out of my comfort zone. The big thing for me was that I started to like myself again and my general mood just lifted. Towards the end of my sabbatical I was in such a good place, that's where I met the love of my life. I am in the most amazing relationship at the moment with an incredible woman. I firmly believe it was because of the break I took.

I wish you the best. You'll meet someone great.

No worries. It is tough and all to easy to fall into a negative feedback loop. I was in a similar place early last year. It got to the point where I only saw my negative qualities. I was bored with my job, life and was desperate for a relationship. Eventually I reached a point where I said it and left my job for a 6 month sabbatical. I focused on myself in that time, stepped out of my comfort zone. The big thing for me was that I started to like myself again and my general mood just lifted. Towards the end of my sabbatical I was in such a good place, that's where I met the love of my life. I am in the most amazing relationship at the moment with an incredible woman. I firmly believe it was because of the break I took.

 

I wish you the best. You'll meet someone great.

Thanks again for your kind and encouraging words...I wish you all the best too!

No worries.

You have to learn to "act" big. We all have stories of short men who married nice women. My dad and brother are both short, but they both "act" big. I remember finding out a few years ago, that they were both 5'7". For some reason, I thought they were both closer to 5'11"! I've known them my whole life! They are both funny, gregarious, hard-working, intelligent, outgoing.

You say that you don't have any money, but do you have full-time work? Do you enjoy your job? Women want a man with a plan. They want a guy who goes after what he wants.

Do you work out, or enjoy bicycling, anything to improve your fitness? I dated a short guy who was very fit, and it did make a difference.

You have to learn to "act" big. We all have stories of short men who married nice women. My dad and brother are both short, but they both "act" big. I remember finding out a few years ago, that they were both 5'7". For some reason, I thought they were both closer to 5'11"! I've known them my whole life! They are both funny, gregarious, hard-working, intelligent, outgoing.

 

You say that you don't have any money, but do you have full-time work? Do you enjoy your job? Women want a man with a plan. They want a guy who goes after what he wants.

 

Do you work out, or enjoy bicycling, anything to improve your fitness? I dated a short guy who was very fit, and it did make a difference.

Thanks, LHGirl. I do have a full-time job, albeit a dead-end one. I don't know any women other than those I work with or have worked with. I have bad anxiety and getting through each day is basically the only plan I have! I guess in a way the whole height thing is a moot point given my other issues, but for some reason it does bother me nonetheless. I took up tennis recently, just having a friendly hit with some male work colleagues, but an injury unfortunately means I can't work out to gain muscle mass. I'm shorter than your dad and brother, but am comforted that their personalities have made them seem taller. Thank you for replying, it helped.

Thanks, LHGirl. I do have a full-time job, albeit a dead-end one. I don't know any women other than those I work with or have worked with. I have bad anxiety and getting through each day is basically the only plan I have! I guess in a way the whole height thing is a moot point given my other issues, but for some reason it does bother me nonetheless. I took up tennis recently, just having a friendly hit with some male work colleagues, but an injury unfortunately means I can't work out to gain muscle mass. I'm shorter than your dad and brother, but am comforted that their personalities have made them seem taller. Thank you for replying, it helped.

My husband had bad anxiety so bad he would pass out. He did a lot of therapy and medication and now does great .

Thanks, LHGirl. I do have a full-time job, albeit a dead-end one. I don't know any women other than those I work with or have worked with. I have bad anxiety and getting through each day is basically the only plan I have! I guess in a way the whole height thing is a moot point given my other issues, but for some reason it does bother me nonetheless. I took up tennis recently, just having a friendly hit with some male work colleagues, but an injury unfortunately means I can't work out to gain muscle mass. I'm shorter than your dad and brother, but am comforted that their personalities have made them seem taller. Thank you for replying, it helped.

I purposefully did not reply because it seemed quite evident to me your height was not the issue. The reason it bothers you enough to post about it even though you state you have other issues including anxiety. You cant change it. You can work on anxiety, social skills, ect but height? Nope, then its easy to blame others for your predicament. Like I said I've been trying to avoid these posts because I feel its troll feeding, but you seem to be quite self aware.

How do you think you got to this point? it didnt happen over night.

Thanks Batya, I'm not sure where you're from but from what I can observe here in Australia, looks are a not too insignificant part of dating. Even if everything falls into place, she may not like being seen with a guy my height anyway. It's comforting you married a guy shorter than average all the same though. Plenty of 5'2 girls still want the tall ones. Thank you for replying.

I wouldn't date anyone -let alone marry someone -who is that focused on what others think of your partners' looks or who you are seen with. Nothing to do with where you live just has to do with the individual people you interact with.

You never said how tall you are.

The general manager at my work is my height. 5'2 1/2". He's married with a family.

You ever been around race car drivers? They HAVE to be short. It's not only a speed advantage but they won't fit into the cars if they're tall. Oh, and BTW...women flock to them.

So like the old saying goes, it's not the size but what you do with it.

The general manager at my work is my height. 5'2 1/2". He's married with a family.

 

You ever been around race car drivers? They HAVE to be short. It's not only a speed advantage but they won't fit into the cars if they're tall. Oh, and BTW...women flock to them.

 

So like the old saying goes, it's not the size but what you do with it.

Thanks, boltnrun. I guess I rule out any celebrities or athletes from this whole discussion simply because their status, money, etc, has swayed a portion of women into over-looking their height. Some of us don't have that option sadly. I'm even at the point now where I'll follow a short man at the shops, with my eyes if not on foot, to see if he's with a woman or not! Comforting to hear about your general manager, thanks for replying.

Height is irrelevant. I've seen some really good looking shorter guys and I never think man I wish he was taller. Height don't matter. Now I've seen some tall guys and sometimes they look goofy, yes you can be too tall. It's like you're out of proportion or something. Oddly misshapen. I've seen better looking shorter guys than taller guys. I know a man who is only 5'2 and his wife is drop dead gorgeous. He is very charming and confident. It's the guys who don't care about their height...if you don't care she won't either. Don't make it an issue.

I'm very petite and have always preferred shorter guys. I feel a bit ridiculous and awkward when I'm with someone a foot taller than me! Having said that, nothing is less attractive than a man who is self conscious about being short. Own it and dress stylishly in a way that suits your frame.