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Thread: Dating a bicurious straight woman

  1. #11
    Silver Member force's Avatar
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    There is a saying "tis better to love and lost than to have never loved at all." If it was me I would probably take the risk especially if I'm very attracted to her because you never want regrets in life. The trick is to not get too emotionally involved unless she tells you she wants something serious. DON'T GET ATTACHED. Just have fun with her. If you do start hanging out with her keep your profile up on the dating sites and keep dating others that way you won't get too attached to this one and stay busy with hobbies, etc.

  2. #12
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    You donít have to control your feelings. You just have to control your reactions to your feelings. And that is a choice you make

  3. #13
    if you don't take a chance you will never know. You can try to ask her why she wants to meet. She could just be using you for sex to see if she likes it. I was with the woman I first had sex with for 3 years. Honestly though if you are her first eventually she will probably want to experience more if she finds herself liking females. I would keep it at a just friends state till you both knew for sure. If you don't meet her though you will always wonder what if

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by KLease2678
    if you don't take a chance you will never know. You can try to ask her why she wants to meet. She could just be using you for sex to see if she likes it. I was with the woman I first had sex with for 3 years. Honestly though if you are her first eventually she will probably want to experience more if she finds herself liking females. I would keep it at a just friends state till you both knew for sure. If you don't meet her though you will always wonder what if
    So we met today, she invited me over to her place and we had drinks. It was a nice afternoon but no chemistry there from her side, I felt it. Me on the other hand really into her. I felt like I should just get over myself and try to just be friends bc she seems like a nice person to hang out with. Got home, she texted it was a nice afternoon - I checked the dating app only to see she already unmatched me.

    So now I am kinda bummed although I know this is probably nothing personal.

    Just sick and tired of dissapointments.

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  6. #15
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    Glass half full or empty? One meet where it's not going to proceed to a first date = "dating" - "typical" - thick skin needed to proceed!

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Glass half full or empty? One meet where it's not going to proceed to a first date = "dating" - "typical" - thick skin needed to proceed!
    Then maybe Iím not the right person for dating. I really canít handle this rejection all the time. So many negative experiences far outweigh the few good ones. Maybe Iím destined to stay on my own then..

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by Lucha
    Then maybe Iím not the right person for dating. I really canít handle this rejection all the time. So many negative experiences far outweigh the few good ones. Maybe Iím destined to stay on my own then..
    Nothing to do with destiny. You have to figure out whether the work and time you need to invest in dating including the stress and the aggravation is worth the end goal. For me, other than for a few months, and momentary doubts it was worth it without a question. I can totally see where it wouldn't be worth it for other people and in other situations. I wouldn't quit because of negativity -I would quit only from the positive perspective that living single is the best situation for you.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Nothing to do with destiny. You have to figure out whether the work and time you need to invest in dating including the stress and the aggravation is worth the end goal. For me, other than for a few months, and momentary doubts it was worth it without a question. I can totally see where it wouldn't be worth it for other people and in other situations. I wouldn't quit because of negativity -I would quit only from the positive perspective that living single is the best situation for you.
    Iím convinced being single is not the best situation for me, I miss affection like crazy. I have everything I need as in a nice job, a house, pets, friends I meet a couple of times a month. I miss a deeper connection with someone and trying so hard to find it. But this is wearing me out.
    This morning I got up feeling so so so tired, drained and unhappy. Canít help it, I feel dissapointed once again.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by Lucha
    Iím convinced being single is not the best situation for me, I miss affection like crazy. I have everything I need as in a nice job, a house, pets, friends I meet a couple of times a month. I miss a deeper connection with someone and trying so hard to find it. But this is wearing me out.
    This morning I got up feeling so so so tired, drained and unhappy. Canít help it, I feel dissapointed once again.
    You can't help how you feel. You can help how you react to how you feel. For me, one thing I do when I'm feeling that way or negative is I do cardio (or when I am doing my daily cardio I visualize getting rid of/sweating out the negative stuff- it helps). Yes, dating is really hard. Did it on and off for 25 years online, in person, personal ads, I treated it like a part time job for several of those years and stretched myself to the limits doing things that were outside my comfort zone to meet more people who might be a good match.

    It can be really frustrating and disappointing. In this particular situation you chose a very risky situation -meeting a woman in her situation -she was honest from the beginning -when you are feeling particularly vulnerable. So you chose that level of risk . You don't have to -you can meet people who are looking for the same things you are. I did that- maybe that will work for you. Many of my friends met their spouses on line. I do know it can be challenging for lesbian/bi women. I have a friend who is 50 and constantly in and out of relationships. Now she is living with someone she is really into. She's had many disappointments. I am straight, had many disappointments and almost missed out on being able to have a biological child, a lifelong dream of mine. One reason for the delay was I got in my own way by being too focused on unavailable men and staying in relationships too long even though it wasn't a good match for me.

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    You can't help how you feel. You can help how you react to how you feel. For me, one thing I do when I'm feeling that way or negative is I do cardio (or when I am doing my daily cardio I visualize getting rid of/sweating out the negative stuff- it helps). Yes, dating is really hard. Did it on and off for 25 years online, in person, personal ads, I treated it like a part time job for several of those years and stretched myself to the limits doing things that were outside my comfort zone to meet more people who might be a good match.

    It can be really frustrating and disappointing. In this particular situation you chose a very risky situation -meeting a woman in her situation -she was honest from the beginning -when you are feeling particularly vulnerable. So you chose that level of risk . You don't have to -you can meet people who are looking for the same things you are. I did that- maybe that will work for you. Many of my friends met their spouses on line. I do know it can be challenging for lesbian/bi women. I have a friend who is 50 and constantly in and out of relationships. Now she is living with someone she is really into. She's had many disappointments. I am straight, had many disappointments and almost missed out on being able to have a biological child, a lifelong dream of mine. One reason for the delay was I got in my own way by being too focused on unavailable men and staying in relationships too long even though it wasn't a good match for me.
    Thank you, Iím feeling a little better today. I try not to wallow in self- pity and brush it off as just another experience of bad luck in dating.
    What is confusing is she is still texting me throughout the day, as if I were a friend. I try to just accept things the way they are and not create drama out of it (would have always been my reaction in the past).

    It just seems sometimes I have no control over how I am feeling and all I can do is ride the waves that almost drown me. And the only area in life in which this is the case is in love! All other areas are fine..

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