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Thread: Now What?

  1. #11
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    I just asked him to call me tonight, instead, because I dont want to sit all weekend wondering what it is he needs to say.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    So from your words you are scared of what might happen or what he might say.

    You do know you can control this whole thing right? If he starts lying some more simply say goodbye and walk away or hang up.

    From your words here it looks like you are waiting on him to decide what happens in YOUR LIFE! The relationship is over because he was dishonest and on dating apps looking for someone new. Seems like any words he might say would just be insulting...

    Lost

  3. #13
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    What do you hope to accomplish by hearing his explanation? Seeing that he went behind your back and betrayed your trust, I don't think trusting what he has to say or waiting for a genuine apology will help-he will just lie some more. And besides, he's probably only sorry he got caught. I dunno why you're waiting around for him to decide what to do moving forward. I would block him and move on. He isn't a quality guy, and he will cause you more heartache if you stay caught up in his bs. You are better than this and you deserve someone who will cherish you, NOT mess you around


    Walk away.

  4. #14
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    How would things go down in a perfect scenario? In other words, what are you hoping will happen?

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  6. #15
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    Mizz i remember your previous threads about other men.
    Did you get the therapy ppl were recommending you have?
    It seems your self esteem is still something you could build up.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by Honeycomb8
    Mizz i remember your previous threads about other men.
    Did you get the therapy ppl were recommending you have?
    It seems your self esteem is still something you could build up.
    I just started counseling.

    I see what everyone is saying. Yes, I have hope that this could be turned around but I dont really see how it possibly could be. I'm mostly looking for some closure at this point, and I'm curious as to what he will say. I'm scared because I know it will hurt, but I need it.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    How would things go down in a perfect scenario? In other words, what are you hoping will happen?
    In a perfect scenario, he would become completely transparent in order to show me that I can trust him. He would have to be consistent and reliable. I seriously doubt he's up for what it would entail.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by JustMizz
    In a perfect scenario, he would become completely transparent in order to show me that I can trust him. He would have to be consistent and reliable. I seriously doubt he's up for what it would entail.
    So in your scenario...you'd forgive him for deceiving you and for not only concealing his dating site activity but also for choosing to leave the relationship rather than try to keep you in his life as his partner? You would be able to not only forgive but put it all behind you?

    And what do you mean by "transparent "? Do you mean giving you his passwords, allowing you to go through his phone, reading his emails and messages? If so, would that be your idea of a healthy relationship?

  10. #19
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    Give yourself closure. Here is the closure - the person you were involved with turned out to not be trustworthy or reliable. You want and deserve someone who is trustworthy and reliable. You determine that in the future you won't settle for less. That is what resolves it, not him telling you some excuse about why he wasn't trustworthy or reliable.

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    So in your scenario...you'd forgive him for deceiving you and for not only concealing his dating site activity but also for choosing to leave the relationship rather than try to keep you in his life as his partner? You would be able to not only forgive but put it all behind you?

    And what do you mean by "transparent "? Do you mean giving you his passwords, allowing you to go through his phone, reading his emails and messages? If so, would that be your idea of a healthy relationship?
    I would be willing to forgive and try again and put it all behind me, yes. If he is sincere. And it would be a long process.

    He reached out to me, idk why. Yes, he ran but he is back. I won't know why until we talk.

    And no, I wouldn't want his passwords or to go through his phone, but if I ask him a question, such as, "Who are you texting?", I would need him to be able to tell me without being annoyed (not that this has ever happened, its just an example).

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