He contacted me after 3 weeks what do i say?

So i've been dating this guy for 11 months he's in his early 20s i'm in my mid 20s. everything was amazing despite us being very different personality wise (i'm an infp and he's an estp if you're into that kinda stuff) he compliments me all the time and tells me how great he thinks i am i've never dated anyone who seemed this in to me where the attention and affection is equal on both sides, everything was literally perfect until 2 months ago when he was showing me somthing on his phone and i seen the ok cupid app... i thought maybe he'ed just forgot to delete it so i joked and said "how is ok cupid going" to which he got very defensive amd said he hadn't used it since november and he doesn't need to use it because he has me... we had been dating for 4 months by november so even tho i was upset i thought maybe at that point he didn't think we was serious...

So things went back to normal but 3 weeks ago he sent me a screen shot of some meme, but at the top i could see a tinder push notification. I hate conflict so rather than mention it right away i went quiet and never replied for a few days he sent messages asking if i was ok because i never go that long with out talking to him i replied saying that the tinder notification bothered me and that i didn't know what to say. He said it was just a tinder notification update... i've never had tinder so i asked a few friends about this they all said they've never got a notification like that from tinder... he then sent a message saying "so am i going to be ignored forever" which i responded to with "no i just want sometime to myself sorry" as i didn't know what i wanted to do at that point tho i kinda had an idea that by saying i wanted time alone he'ed take it as we are over because he knows i hate conflict and i'm far too polite for my own good. Some other things to note he has implied that that he has cheated on his past girlfriends which i guess made me have a stronger reaction to seeing the tinder notification than if i he hadn't told me that. And he has said lots of times that he feels zero empathy for anyone other than me and that people have implied to him that he is a narcissist which i thought was an odd thing to randomly mention...

Anyways on exactly 3 weeks to the day that we haven't spoke to each other which was 3 days ago he sent me this

"Hello, I hope you are okay and that everything is alright with you. So I was going to reply to your last message straight away but I was kinda pissed off and I don't make good decisions pissed off but I thought "fine if she wants time to herself let her have that" which I have regretted the entire time I have done it because I have just felt empty and like I ruined something really good by deciding to ignore that message. But I am also really stubborn and don't like going back on things and admitting I was wrong and I definitely was wrong to ignore you.

I know that me being pissed off is a really reason but it is why and also me apologising now might not mean much if anything to you but I am sorry I have ignored you all this time and if there is any way I can try and sort this out let me know. I have a feeling I may have ed up too much for that but I'm gonna remain hopeful because you really are an amazing person and I have very much enjoyed you being a part of my life for nearly a year now and I don't want want that to end ever and I hope I can fix this"

I've not replied because i'm not sure what to say or do or make of what he said at first my reaction was that it was really sweet and i want things back how they where but the more i read it the more i'm unsure because he is only apologising for not contacting me and i don't get why he would be pissed off when he knew why i was upset... i guess i just want some more opinions on it, if i do reply how do i go about it and what do i say?

To me it sounds like distraction from the actual issue. He clearly knows why you're upset, but didn't address that at all. Honestly I'd move on at this point. He's clearly still on the lookout and refuses to even acknowledge his mistake to you.

As a fellow infp I can say narcissists definitely take advantage of our kind giving nature. I would drop him and find someone who can match your level of intense feelings.

Say...Nothing. He is just getting an ego stroke or has nothing better to do. Someone who likes you will contact you a lot more. Him not having empathy for anyone except you, translates to not having empathy for you.

Sorry to hear this. Don't reply. The only reason he sent this is because he struck out on dating apps/is having a dry spell. If he missed you or was sorry for anything why blow you off for three weeks? He's quite immature, you can do better than this.

I was going to reply to your last message straight away but I was kinda pissed off and I don't make good decisions pissed off but I thought "fine if she wants time to herself let her have that"

Depending on the nature of it, I tend to let the first strike go. But I would be on the look out. The pof thing could have been innocent and his actions after that would tell you whether or not you did the right thing. The tinder notification is the second strike and what might have been a coincidence is now a pattern.

Add in his admission to cheating (more than once) zero empathy and narcissism? Yikes.

I'd have all in the information I needed to decide to never have anything to do with him.

Narcissists are notorious for deflecting blame and flipping the script on you when you point out their mistake.

Notice how his knee jerk reaction to your discovery made him angry and he placed himself in the role of the victim. It was all about him.

He didn't even address how you might have felt, did he?

Now after the fact narcissists are really good at saying all the right things in an attempt to get what they want.

But it falls short of a genuine apology and remorse.