Friend is moving away and I am depressed

Some background info: we have been friends for over a year and have gotten very close in that time and spent a lot of time together. She was the first real friend I made since high school, as I had trouble making friends in high school due to shyness. She is ten years older than me. We really got along. She is very extroverted and I am introverted, and hanging out with her so much seemed to have shaped my personality. I am a lot more outgoing than I ever have been before. She is a good person, but quite troubled. She could not hold down a job and drank often. Even though we would spend time together sober, most of the time we would be partying. She seemed to have a couple breakdowns during the time we were friends. There were some strange and sketchy situations we got into together. Sometimes, she would be in a bad spot in her life, we would drink and party and she would take it out on me. This past New Years Eve, we went out and she got so mean to me, for no reason. I walked away from her with no contact for two months after this, and being in a new relationship helped with that. We have been friends again for the past couple of months with no problems.

She and her boyfriend just broke up and he was supposed to move in with her. She is going through a total breakdown. She just quit her brand new job and is selling her place and taking the money to travel. I tried to tell her not to, but she already listed her condo. I am very depressed about this, though she seems very happy and excited. I am happy for her, and acted like I was, but I am quite devastated. I feel like I am going through a breakup. I get so attachted to people and memories, and I am afraid I won’t find a friend like her...even though she has abused me at times and I was too forgiving. The couple of friends I have don’t really have the fun relationship we do, and we have complete different senses of humour, while her and I had very similar ones. I am overall very sad over this, even though there was a lot of dysfunction. I am strangely attached to memories and places associated with them and have a hard time letting them go. I do not know how to handle how I am feeling. Part of me just says move on, don’t be depressed and focus on my relationship. I am beginning to think that I am just attached to the memories and good times and not really her.

Well, you were perfectly correct in your thinking. You had an emotional dependency on your friend. She may have been a bit of fun, but it sounds like her life is a wreck, and if she was emotionally abusing you, then it's great that she's gone. You can Google emotional dependency and see what you can do to shrug off what you're feeling. Concentrate on your new relationship and hopefully you won't miss her long.

Part of me just says move on, don’t be depressed and focus on my relationship. I am beginning to think that I am just attached to the memories and good times and not really her.

I wouldn't put that kind of pressure on my relationship--to fill that void. Instead, I'd consider what benefits I've gained from the friendship and opt instead to parlay those positives into an open minded pursuit of new interests and new friends.

Friend had her down side, which came out sideways as mistreatment of you. I'd consider that good enough reason to let the friendship diverge and take the pearls from it to build friendships that don't include mistreatment.

Where mistreatment exists, the message is to walk away and find higher ground. So shoot for the higher ground and consider it a benefit that friend moved away while you lacked the discretion to do so. Take the outcome as a positive and build it into an even bigger positive.

Head high.