Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Backstabbing Sisters are making me feel afraid to be around my own Family.

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    23

    Backstabbing Sisters are making me feel afraid to be around my own Family.

    I am an 18 year old girl who has suffered bullying in high school. The bullying consisted of people spreading some seriously damaging rumors about me. There are other incidents that I don't have the time to explain because this posts will be long!
    After I was bullied I got into an accident where I fell and gashed my head on a propane tank. (At the time, we were living on an underdeveloped mountain property.) I got a hairline fracture as well as a concussion and later started to experience mental issues. I have also been diagnosed with bipolar that I had since I was a kid. Because of all this, I was pulled out of school, Isolated myself and got really bad social anxiety. It was a lot to deal with considering I already had mental issues.

    I still continue to have social anxiety to this day, but what makes everything worse is the fact that my sisters are extremely mean to me and they aren't just mean, they are extremely hateful. It all started when I was 13 years old. I was going to get a plate of dinner, as soon as I left the room, my sisters started talking about me. This was unlike anything I had ever heard that had come out of their mouths. Their words still stick with me. One thing I remember my oldest sisters saying was: " She actually thinks we like her!" then she proceeded by saying "That's the BIGGEST LIE we've ever told her!". Then, they laughed. It's like the second I left they had every right to say harsh things about me, but when I was there they were smiling and saying nice things.

    They said many more things, but on another occasion i remember my other sister (she was younger than the eldest) saying that I was ugly. Apparently, I was so ugly that my sisters both agreed they would rather look like a monster from one of their video games with it's head shot off. I do have my father's nose and get made fun of for it a lot, but what did I do to deserve that? Most of the time (basically all of the time) I leave my sisters alone. I never do anything to them that would prompt them to say these nasty and negative things about me.

    My sister who is the second eldest even said I was "retarded" and "stupid". Like always, my older sister agreed with her. All of this still happens to this day and every day there's something new! They've called me awful things like a sl**, wh** and they've even accused me of these things. I've never had a boyfriend in my life! There's more to the list than just this. They actually do things to sabotage me. They know that I have anxiety when going around people because they've spied on me when I was telling my mom things that were personal about my mental health. EVERY TIME I go out to be around my family, they glance at each other and at me. It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. I know that everyone here will most likely say that I need to talk with them about it, but my sisters NEVER support me. I have bi-polar and they always avoid me because of it. I've heard of others being supported by their sisters during hard times, but mine actually make fun of my illness and play with it like it's a game. For example, when I tell my parents that my sister just gave me a bad look and called me something under her breath (this actually happened once) (my sister will say that she didn't.) I automatically get in trouble because "I'm delusional". At this point, I'm beginning to believe it's my whole family that's gaslighting me. Everytime someone does something to me, It's not them, It's just Heather being delusional again! (I guess I'm getting off-topic) They use the delusional thing to their advantage, heck, they use my whole illness to their advantage!

    I get talked about every day for no reason. I have cut off all contact with my sisters. I can't be around them anyway. My sister made a joke and in doing so it was obvious she was insulting me. I flung potatoes in her face. Christmas dinner DID nOT end well... LOL
    What makes all of this strange is that My oldest sister and I were best friends. I'm beginning to think that my other sister didn't like that and turned her against me. In general, my sisters are just mean. They have an extraordinary amount of hate towards me as well. My oldest sister will say things under her breath and the other one flat out insults me. I remember that one time I became manic and my family was trying to restrain me. My sister who was the second oldest put me in a headlock and purposely started choking me. My oldest sister defended her and told my mom that I was "acting". SHE WAS LITERALLY CHOKING ME AND I COULDN'T BREATHE! I felt like I was going to pass out at that point. I still won't forgive her for that! Both of them now pull of this "I'm better and more successful than you act." I was the first and only one to get honor roll in high school and that made my two sisters jealous. It made them want to try harder I guess and that's okay, but still very stupid.

    I ignore them, but they still get on my nerves. Is anyone else going through the same thing and how should I deal with this? I still live in the same house with them, Ignore them (they ignore me). How do I just completely stop caring and not let it get to me?
    I have told my parents many times, but they always say I'm "delusional". My sisters would "never do something like that" . The truth is, they are NEVER around to hear any of it.

  2. #2
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    23
    I also forgot to ask: how do I deal with them when I am around my family? How do is stop being scared?

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Posts
    28
    I'm not sure there is much you can do. Sounds like a pretty bad living situation and if your parents call you delusional, you don't have much hope for them to stand up to you. You're 18, do you have an income? Plans to go to college? I'd be putting my energy into trying to get away from them. It's amazing how much freer you feel about life and yourself when you have your own space. As long as you're not too stressed about money.

    The other alternative would be to ask your sisters why they are so mean to you. Like just ask them bluntly. If you tell them that they're hurting you and they're still horrible, I'd say
    save yourself and keep away from them. Or go to your local library and read some books on how to deal with conflict and bullying. Knowledge is power

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Location
    Boston, MA
    Age
    63
    Posts
    4,747
    Gender
    Male
    Well there's a bunch of stuff to unpack here. A lot of siblings feel they were picked on by their brothers and sisters. And middle children are especially mean. They feel they didn't get enough attention from their parents and can actually resent the older and younger kids than they. You may have gotten a lot of attention because of your accident and your bipolar condition, and that made her doubly jealous. But the stuff you described are typical of siblings picking on the baby of the family (you). The question is whether it rises above what is normal.

    Anyways, are you going away to college? That could be your opportunity to get away from them and develop your own friends and personality. And if you're not going away, you can busy yourself with student activities. When I went to college, I would stumble home about 11 and go back out at 8 the next day, so I was barely at home. You can do this too and avoid your family.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    23
    Thanks you guys, I agree with you both when you say that I need to get away from them. I will be getting a job soon so that might help, but I've got to raise money to pay for college.

  7. #6
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Posts
    35
    Whenever they start doing and saying horrible things record, record and record you have no idea on how it helped me when my mum think I was going crazy and making things up with my nieces.. life can be pretty horrible sometimes..

  8. #7
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    287
    If you can, spend as little as time as possible at home. Go to a library, volunteer, work, etc. Once you've saved up some money, move out.

    Another option, are you able to house sit? Generally a house-sitter's job is to take care of the property and pets. You live rent free, only pay for food and other personal expenses. Some owners even tip you. There are websites dedicated to this stuff. You may get some short-term gigs, eventually you may land some long-term ones. Someone I knew was house-sitting the same property for over a year.


Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •