Dating man with two children - one is getting diagnosed

I've been dating a very lovely man who has partial custody of two children. We've been seeing each other last 2 months, with regular contact - texting every day. seeing each other maybe once or sometimes twice a week, with 2 weeks off for each month for his trips and mine.

We get along wonderfully. One of his children is getting diagnosed with a form of seizure - which cause is not quite known and has been in the hospitals a lot. - more so in the last two weeks. My date is a very good father and has been quite diligent about staying by his sons side and trying to find the right diagnosis and talk to doctors and writing emails.

I was out last two weeks to visit family. We were supposed to meet last weekend but I left early - I wasn't sure whether he'd stll be in the hospital so I wanted to give him space.

Today I came back and we were supposed to meet for coffee. He just started new job this Monday with boss visiting from out of the country so he was quite busy - and wasn't able to come. He is going to LA until Sat/sun. He phoned to me about this yesterday. And today he was apologetic about not being able to have coffee and wrote to me he would love to see me Sunday/Monday that he doesn't know what to do.

When I called and asked him - he said he feels like he needs to apologize to me quite a lot and if this situation doesn't suit me - he would understand.

I asked him whether he wants to stop seeing me he says no, he would like to continue but that his work situation (new job) and situation with his son - has left him with difficulty to make everyone happy.

I said I understand problems piling up and I can wait for him - and he said he will see me Sunday.

My question is: just the fact that he said "if the situation doesn't suit me" - not quite in those words.

Should I take it to mean I should look for someone else? I just want to double check as I'm quite fond of him but don't want to turn a blind eye.

Should I see it as a red flag or that he just wants to be explicit that he is just very busy?

I really appreciate it

I would take it to mean he isn’t prepared to give time and energy to a relationship with anyone at this point, and that he doesn’t want any other demands on his time besides his child and his job. It’s of course totally understandable and you now need to decide if you really are willing to wait with zero expectations or if you want to let him go.

Well, he's telling you that this is an extremely busy and difficult time for him. He has very little free time to spend with you. And if you want to move on, he understands. But if you want to see it through, it may pay off, but it's going to be rough for a time. It's up to you if you want to wait for him or not.

He is giving you an out.

He is going through a difficult time with his son and new job, and does not want to have you come back to him and tell him you 'he never had time for you.'

I honestly think that he is hopeful that you will stick around through this hard time with him, with no judgement or neediness. He hopes that you are interested enough to wait, and to be patient with him through this time. If he didn't think you could do it, then he would likely have just ended it.

So, I read the line, "if the situation doesn't suit me" as: I'd love you to stick around, but if you need more from me than I can give at present, or, if you are in a hurry for some reason, then I leave it up to you to continue.

If you think you can stick it our, and you think he is worth waiting for, then stick around. You will be really showing him the person you are inside.

Two months in translates into a handful of dates. You have nothing to lose by getting busy with your life and at the same time keeping the door open for him so if at some point his personal life settles down.

He was likely overwhelmed in the moment and felt like he had so much on his plate that he might not have much to offer.

Time will tell.

Thank you - yes that sounds about right. Maybe I'll write to him end of the day Thursday if I don't hear from him, I'm sure he is busy.

Thank you for the interpretation - I'm willing to wait - he seems to be a decent fellow. Lets see what happens.