My Ex just broke 4MO of NC and texted me

So my ex texted me yesterday attempting to have an emotional conversation with me.

He texted me apologizing for being toxic for me and saying he has been crying a lot and cant seem to get over the guilt of hurting me as much as he did. He kept implying he knew I hated him and he understood why, and that he is so sorry.

I kept my cool and simply answered that I forgave him, that I no longer hated him and am over the whole thing. Towards the end he kept saying "I understand I am the last person you want to see and talk to so I will just go..." to which I replied "Alright. I hope you're happy and everything is going well for you" and he replied "I'm not but I hope the same for you" I did not answer after that point.

Currently wondering what this all means? I have been actually doing really well since my last episode of sadness regarding my ex and focusing on my current relationship, which is going stellar honestly. At the point that I see myself only with my current partner... I was even crying the other day because it scared me how much I care about him and how hard I'm falling in love with him. I never say 'I love you' but the other day I thought it in my head and almost blurted it out. My ex texting me just further made me realize how much I care for my current bf but I am still confused as to why he texted me specially when we had the same convo in Jan in which he apologized in person and said he regret cutting me out.

Just looking to clear up my confusion honestly. Dunno what to make of this.

He told you what this is about - his guilt. He's fishing to see if you will stroke his ego by still engaging with him. It worked.

If you are with someone else, you need to cut your ex off. It's not fair to your current boyfriend to be responding to an ex who is clearly looking to hook you again.

Your ex is playing mind games with you. He's hoping you'll take pity on him or something. I swear some exes do it just to torture you. Just when you start getting your life back, they pop up to destroy your well-being. Try to make sure he can't contact you again and dismiss him from your mind. You're in a great relationship and don't be afraid to tell your man you love him. You've got to find out sometime whether he loves you back.

Hi Danzee! My bf has told me he loves me already actually, I am the one that hasnt said it yet. I don't say it unless I really, REALLY mean it. And well, the fact I almost blurted it out really makes me feel like I am getting there. I want it to hit me like a truck, like wow, I love this person so much. He makes me so happy, and when my heart is just so full of love for them I cant contain it, then I say it. It should just come out because I can't hold back anymore!

I felt like he wanted me to take pity on him. I kept my answers super dry and made sure not to include any emotion. Simple and straight to the point.

And Canuck, I showed my bf the messages. We dont hide anything from each other. He can try as much as he want but its not working. I'm actually kind of relieved he texted me. I feel like I got some much needed closure now, since he apologized again and seems to be sorry. Truly wishing him the best and hoping he finds happiness. Thank you! The whole him trying to hook me again... didn't see that up until now so thanks for bringing it up!

And Canuck, I showed my bf the messages. We dont hide anything from each other. He can try as much as he want but its not working. I'm actually kind of relieved he texted me. I feel like I got some much needed closure now

I don't think it's a question of transparency, since it's clear you have been honest. It's now a question of not giving your ex any avenue to contact you at all anymore. It's evident you still had lingering pain from this break-up (based on what you've said here and your other threads) so you need to block him now so he can't meddle with your head anymore.

If this is a NEW relationship.. just a few months in, I suggest you do NOT mention the L word so soon.

You could easily be riverting your emotions onto this relationship and not truly be at this stage for this guy.. yet.

You are surely still learning about each other? Then take your time.

In the beginning, is called the honeymoon stage... then things will calm down a bit and reality kicks in,

So.. take time to get to know each other... and yes... keep walking away from your 'toxic ex'.

He messed up? He deserves you no more.

Gd luck

If this is a NEW relationship.. just a few months in, I suggest you do NOT mention the L word so soon.

You could easily be riverting your emotions onto this relationship and not truly be at this stage for this guy.. yet.

 

You are surely still learning about each other? Then take your time.

In the beginning, is called the honeymoon stage... then things will calm down a bit and reality kicks in,

 

So.. take time to get to know each other... and yes... keep walking away from your 'toxic ex'.

He messed up? He deserves you no more.

 

Gd luck

Thank you so much.

Indeed, it is fairly 'new'. We have been together for 5 months officially.

I have not said the L word precisely because I want to be absolutely positive of it before I say it. I'm all about taking things slow.

Initially I felt bad for my ex, then realized thats probably what he wanted after reading your replies. I am so glad I answered the way I did.

Thanks for your response!