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Thread: Cheating

  1. #1
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    Cheating

    Ok so I have a boyfriend (long distance) but recently on a trip with friends I slept with one of my friends twice. I had never thought of him like this before, but since i haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I love my boyfriend, and have told him what happened and we're going to try fix it. But how do i stop thinking of my friend in this way? I suggested having sex again and he said it was a bad idea but then he got drunk and started texting me about it (I said no), and then I got drunk and did the same thing. It's all getting very confusing and complicated. Also everyone in our friend group knows and are making jokes about it (which annoys my friend).

  2. #2
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    If you're going to be a decent person at all, break up with your boyfriend. Then actually decide if you want a relationship with this other guy or if you just want to have random sex with him.
    Confusing? Complicated? Nope, not really. You're having sex for the sake of it and need to actually decide if it's going to be anything more than that.

    But you can't be behaving like that with a boyfriend, it's just plain wrong. And no, you don't love him if you allow another boy on top of you.

  3. #3
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    Jeez...Just break up with your bf already. -_-
    Love is an action word. Your actions suggest lots of things, but they def don't suggest love.

  4. #4
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    It has nothing to do with being "complicated/being confused" It's about making conscious choices. You're an adult, and need to own that choice...it's a simple as that.

    Other than that, and with a dark cloud over his head, you're boyfriend won't stick around for very long. JMO...

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    I get the impression that Sallydont isn't an adult, or is a very immature adult.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Sallydont that bf of yours is going to call it quits really soon unless you smarten up and straighten out your life. You need to decide what you want. Of course your friends are commenting and laughing about it! What is with you that you think it's a good idea to have sex with another guy many tines? There's nothing confusing about this, you are acting like a cheap trick.

  8. #7
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    Sally: You don't love your boyfriend and he should drop you like a bad habit for what you've done. The fact that you think having sex again with someone else justifies him doing it without remorse when you tell him the truth.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    The solution is to date locally and break up with the LD bf. 😧 It's clear all the way around that the hardships of LDRs is not working for anyone involved. It's just hurting everyone because you can't handle it but won't admit this to yourself. As far as the fwb, see if you want to pursue that after you break up or if you to continue hookups. Obviously the fwb is keeping his distance because you are wasting time stuck in this LDR.
    Originally Posted by Sallydont
    I have a boyfriend (long distance) but recently on a trip with friends I slept with one of my friends twice.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    I suggest you break up with your boyfriend and stop seeing your "friend" altogether... zero contact from both men. Then you sit yourself down and decide if you're monogamously inclined or you're incapable of that dynamic. I also suggest that if you THINK you're actually capable of maintaining monogamy that you stop hanging out and doing date like things with your opposite sex friends which will keep you safe from falling out of monogamy yet again in your future.
    You can't act single when you're in a committed monogamous relationship you have to have romantic relationship boundaries in place and no longer dating other men is a very basic one to be able to maintain.

  11. #10
    Member FleurDeLys's Avatar
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    Having sex again with him would be a terrible idea. Honestly, you're quite fortunate your bf didn't break up with you for betraying his trust. The solution to fix things would be to ask yourself why you're thinking of your friend in a sexual way and are attracted to him? Are you unhappy in your current relationship? Do you need closeness on a more regular basis? How do you truly think about this other guy? Why did it happen? And you need to do all this sort of questioning on your own before taking actions.


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