No clue what to do

So me and my Girlfriend broke up recently. I am left with more questions than answers and I have no idea how to move awn. A lot of things went down before we broke up and I’m so lost. First thing is I really have no idea why she wanted to break up. Sure we had some issues, but nothing too drastic. When I asked her why she just kinda told me it didn’t feel right. This is really bothering me because I have no idea what happened and I can’t stop wondering. How can I better myself for future relationships if I don’t know what I did wrong? I have a feeling she thinks we weren’t compatible, for the reason I assume because I’m an optimist and she’s not. She pointed out about my optimism when we were breaking up and that’s why I think that. The truth is though I really have no idea. The second thing is that I’m not really sure what to do now. How should I go about moving forward? How do I figure out what went wrong so I can move forward? Or is there a way to move awn without knowing?

Ugh, I feel for you. Unfortunately, this is how most breakup's go. The dumper typically tries to soften the blow by not being completely honest (It's not you, it's me syndrome). They do everything from giving generic answers to even giving us hope for the future. Truth is, break-ups don't happen just like that. She must have been unhappy for awhile and while she saw it coming, maybe you didn't. They don't think you're compatible, they lose interest, they want to see someone else...whatever it is, it doesn't matter anymore. My guess is you won't get the closure you need; us dumpee's rarely do. Pestering them makes us look weak, needy, pathetic and in the end we're still left with more questions then answers. Our brain/hearts can't comprehend the loss and even if we did get the real reasons...we'll just fight every reason anyways (denial stage).

My advice is examine the relationship and the issues you guys had. It should hopefully lead to some revelations about what you can improve upon. If you don't think you contributed any way to the breakup then maybe look at what type of person she was and try to stay away from the characteristics you didn't like in her (like being negative too often).

I'm really sorry for you, I really am. We are all going through this and the beginning stages are undoubtedly the worse. We are here for you and please post often. Tell us how you're doing, what you're thinking, ask for advice etc. etc.

Uh, didn't you write two weeks ago how you were paranoid about your girlfriend cheating and betraying you, and being inadequate and insecure? And didn't I warn you that you were going to lose her if you didn't get your head on straight about this? Do you really not have any idea why she broke up with you? How about being possessive and controlling? And that's what you have to work on. You have to control your own impulses or you'll just ruin every relationship you're in.

Uh, didn't you write two weeks ago how you were paranoid about your girlfriend cheating and betraying you, and being inadequate and insecure? And didn't I warn you that you were going to lose her if you didn't get your head on straight about this? Do you really not have any idea why she broke up with you? How about being possessive and controlling? And that's what you have to work on. You have to control your own impulses or you'll just ruin every relationship you're in.

Ah, there you have it then. Nothing to be ashamed of though. If that's indeed the case you have the problem identified now you can go out there and work on it. That way it won't be a problem when Mrs. Right does come along!