Help! how to initiate contact out of the blue?!

There's a girl at work in a different department who I see everyday and I would love to ask out! You know when you get that feeling that the other person MAY be interested because she makes eye contact with you more than usual and is always smiling when she does? That feeling you make up because you want it to be true?! She's super happy all the time anyway; so, obviously, I really have no idea.

The most we've talked is my asking her if she's using a workstation or offering her mine (in the common room). We have no work related reason to spend time together or talk. And no non work reason (yet?). I asked a mutual friend about it and she wasn't sure about this girl's dating situation but said i should definitely try...then just laughed when she realized we have never met or talked haha.

So, do I just find a moment to introduce myself? but then how to strike up a conversation? about what?! we work in a hospital and so far she's always been busy - never sitting in one place and always busy. and I'm pretty busy most of the time myself. (if it matters, I'm 29, she's either the same or a few years older. and she's leaving the program in a couple months.) I thought about asking someone close to her to ask if she's interested but that would require my asking someone to whom I am not close.

Thank you!!

Well, in this situation where she's already busy, you've got to be direct and to the point. You've got to ask her if she would like to go to dinner of the movies with you. That's the way it was done in the good old days. You could say, hey, I'm kinda attracted to you. Would you like to go out. If you can't say it in person, write it in a note and hand her the note. You could include your phone number or e-mail address so she can say yes or no. Most girls are flattered by being asked out, so you'll make her day. Otherwise you're both going to be doing a lot of staring at each other, and she'll be gone soon. So act fast.

Just start making small talk about anything and get a dialogue going. If she's interested she'll discuss anything with you and it can build from there, or not lol.

Just start making small talk about anything and get a dialogue going. If she's interested she'll discuss anything with you and it can build from there, or not lol.

+1. Strike up a conversation. How she reacts will tell you about her interest level in you. It doesn't mean that she's available, but it will get the ball rolling (in which you will find out later).

My husband and I were in a similar situation when we first dated- worked in different departments in a large company. Basically he called me on the phone (internally) and within a minute of chit chatting asked me out for lunch. I wasn't entirely sure it was a "date" and I said yes. We were 28 years old. That was almost 23 years ago. We've been married almost 10 years. Just do it.

Just found out she's available and looking to date.

So right now my gameplan is to say something like "we haven't actually met, I'm ----" next time I run into her. Just start talking (!!) And try to build a little more rapport over the next couple weeks I'm on that floor then just ask her to dinner! Or even just ask the very first time?! She may appreciate the boldness/directness!

Never done anything like this before so I'm definitely nervous, but it's exciting toi!

Just found out she's available and looking to date.

 

So right now my gameplan is to say something like "we haven't actually met, I'm ----" next time I run into her. Just start talking (!!) And try to build a little more rapport over the next couple weeks I'm on that floor then just ask her to dinner! Or even just ask the very first time?! She may appreciate the boldness/directness!

 

Never done anything like this before so I'm definitely nervous, but it's exciting toi!

What I would do is when you run into her introduce yourself, see how she responds, then say "I know you're too busy to chat -I'd love to take you to lunch or for coffee if you get a coffee break so we can chat" -I wouldn't ask her to dinner the first time.

That's good advice. My thoughts: Personally I'd like to get out of the workplace because everyone knows everyone..and I'm different there...since I'm still training and everyone is watching

Just going to start by introducing myself! talk about something work related and go from there. and try to stop making such a big deal about it. ive already put her on a pedestal haha.

I always assume the women I'm into are super confident, never get nervous, and would be weirded out. lol

Forget work talk. Ask her out for coffee as planned. Then ask something like what does she like doing away from work. Does she like going out, that sort of thing. Keep the work talk to a minimum.

Forget work talk. Ask her out for coffee as planned. Then ask something like what does she like doing away from work. Does she like going out, that sort of thing. Keep the work talk to a minimum.

I disagree with this. I often felt put on the spot by a question like that -too broad and often left me fumbling because it's also kind of cliche. What I would do is when you are out for lunch or coffee bring up a specific activity you like to do or mention a cultural event or sports event going on in your city and start the conversation from there. And I think work talk as long as it's not gossip is fine if you both like your jobs, including what you plan to do in the future, classes you might take, etc. One of the first questions my future husband asked me on our first lunch date after we met at work was why I chose my career. He was really interested in the "why" and I had a good story about it. Broke the ice. And we just talked at length last night about a project I'm working in. He does the same. Work can be a great topic IMO.

I disagree with this. I often felt put on the spot by a question like that -too broad and often left me fumbling because it's also kind of cliche. What I would do is when you are out for lunch or coffee bring up a specific activity you like to do or mention a cultural event or sports event going on in your city and start the conversation from there. And I think work talk as long as it's not gossip is fine if you both like your jobs, including what you plan to do in the future, classes you might take, etc. One of the first questions my future husband asked me on our first lunch date after we met at work was why I chose my career. He was really interested in the "why" and I had a good story about it. Broke the ice. And we just talked at length last night about a project I'm working in. He does the same. Work can be a great topic IMO.

Yep you are right, I agree with that.

If you can't say it in person, write it in a note and hand her the note. You could include your phone number or e-mail address so she can say yes or no. Most girls are flattered by being asked out, so you'll make her day.

I've got about two more weeks with chances to run into her. In two weeks I'll be rotating on the other side of the hospital with no chance to see her. I'm definitely going to try to put myself ina situation/location to see her, but let's say I can't get the opportunity in person.

1) Can I give a note to my friend who is on her team?

2) Ask this friend to ask her if she's interested?

At the end of the day I'd rather ask than not. Curious as to the pros/cons of these. If I don't get to introduce myself the latter seems less creepy..right?

Do not involve anyone else! That is way too middle school.

I agree! but what if I never see her??

I agree! but what if I never see her??

Do not involve anyone else. Does she have a work phone number?

Calling her would be inappropriate imo. we haven't even officially met yet

Calling her would be inappropriate imo. we haven't even officially met yet

If you have her work phone I think it's fine. You said you've chatted with her.

My mistake if that was not clear. We have not really chatted yet. Just a few words "would you like to use my computer"

The work phone is usually reserved for calls about patients, as it's going off 24/7.

Introduce yourself if you can. Otherwise send a friend request on FB, with a note about working at the same place, whatever. Never involve coworkers and notes at work etc. it's creepy.

Calling her would be inappropriate imo. we haven't even officially met yet

Thanks Wiseman - no fb to be found! Will definitely try to introduce myself this next 1.5 weeks!