Sex Life is decreasing while Arguments are more frequent

So lately, me & my girlfriend haven’t been having much of a sex life. We do both work vigorous hours, (and nearly everyday not to mention)...but sometimes I honestly feel like it’s something else/someone else. I try not to think negative, but can you blame me?? How did we come from steamy hot sex to viagra? I mean it use to be anywhere, anytime...risky sex!! There were just always something spontaneous about the relationship. She was more affectionate, clingy, did anything for me...now it’s like we barely even kiss and she’s distant. Our sex life is more dull, and sparks seem to be dying. Out of frustration, this causes me to form bad thoughts and make accusations against her. We argue everyday, she complains about it, but it’s because I’m SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED!!! She always tell me how she’s just simply tired from work, and that I should be more considerate of her feelings. But all I’m asking for is a little intimacy here and there, (not even everyday), to satisfy my emotional needs and for reassurance...but she says I’m being “inconsiderate”, and that I don’t respect her, and how I never give her a break from “house duties” after a long day of work. It’s kind of hard to cater to someone, that’s not even catering to my needs in bed. She says I need to “grow up”, and it’s not always about sex, but HOW can she expect me to feel this way when that’s how I met her?? So it’s like why change on me now? It makes me assume that she may be getting it elsewhere or something. I’m trying so hard not to relapse into my old ways, but the lack of sex is driving me crazy! And yes, I know relationships shouldn’t be all about just SEX, but it definitely plays an important factor in one.

Well, hey, that's what work will do to you. And if neither of you have the same day off, when do you or she have time to recover your energies? I would suggest you both sit down and try to make an appointment with each other for love making. Thursday at 8 pm, Saturday at 10 am, whatever.

Another cause for her lack of a sex drive might be that she's depressed or she feels you're not fulfilling her emotional needs (it's not just about sex, you know?). Maybe you need to tell her you love her once in a while. Maybe you need to hug her every so often. Or give her a kiss on the cheek for no reason.

There's the old joke about husbands should apologize to their wives even when they don't know what they've done or didn't do. Just admit everything's your fault and arguments are over. Wives and girlfriends are usually correct about relationship complaints.

Keep in mind that your primary sex organ is your brain. So be nice to your girlfriend and see what happens.

I just love that you have decided she is having an affair rather than listening to what she is saying to you. Have you considered doing your fair share of the household chores, treating her respectfully and trying to make her feel special? It sounds like you think you are entitled to sex and you should be praised for not pushing it for it every day. You do need to grow up.

OP, given your previous posts about your tumultuous relationship with both this girlfriend and your ex - are you really that shocked that intimacy is dying?

There is a lot more going on outside the bedroom that is affecting your sex lives.

Well, hey, that's what work will do to you. And if neither of you have the same day off, when do you or she have time to recover your energies? I would suggest you both sit down and try to make an appointment with each other for love making. Thursday at 8 pm, Saturday at 10 am, whatever.

 

Another cause for her lack of a sex drive might be that she's depressed or she feels you're not fulfilling her emotional needs (it's not just about sex, you know?). Maybe you need to tell her you love her once in a while. Maybe you need to hug her every so often. Or give her a kiss on the cheek for no reason.

 

There's the old joke about husbands should apologize to their wives even when they don't know what they've done or didn't do. Just admit everything's your fault and arguments are over. Wives and girlfriends are usually correct about relationship complaints.

 

Keep in mind that your primary sex organ is your brain. So be nice to your girlfriend and see what happens.

I’ve tried this already, and I absolutely HATE planned sex! Lol I am a very spontaneous, adventurous type of person so pre-planned sex takes away from the excitement to me! Very BORING. Thanks for the suggestion though. I will work on my kindness though being that I should be more “brain stimulating.” So thanks for that tip!

I just love that you have decided she is having an affair rather than listening to what she is saying to you. Have you considered doing your fair share of the household chores, treating her respectfully and trying to make her feel special? It sounds like you think you are entitled to sex and you should be praised for not pushing it for it every day. You do need to grow up.

You sound just like her. Thanks a lot!