Virginity question

Just wondering at what age girls see a guy still being a virgin as more a turn-off than as something special? Like I'm assuming at some point it stops being "Omg it's so sweet he's saving himself" or "wow it takes strength and guts to do that" and becomes more "eww, there must be something wrong with him, I'm outta here". Let's assume secular parties in the relationship, live in the western world, and that they're the same age or a slightly older guy. Do girls want to feel special being his first, or is there a definite point at which being told that sets loud alarm bells ringing?

In my opinion, male virginity is not particularly valued in the western world unless the people concerned are religious and believe in waiting for marriage or for someone special. Focusing on virginity like that and looking for a cut off point is a mistake imo. The reason is what is really important rather than the fact itsself. Different women will have different answers to this question based on the reason you give and whether it is compatible with their personal values. Imo, most women would not turn down someone for waiting but they would turn down someone who is too insecure/judgemental/not comfortable in his own skin.

Women shouldn't be hearing about any of your prior sexual experiences one way or the other.

Imo, most women would not turn down someone for waiting but they would turn down someone who is too insecure/judgemental/not comfortable in his own skin.

Exactly. If you are comfortable with the fact you are a virgin, just haven't met the right person yet (by choice or outright didn't happen), or do it for religious reasons, then a good woman would be understanding. It gets to be a huge turn off when you become the things Cilo mentioned.

For example, I talked to this virgin guy once. It ended quickly because he wasted no time in asking me if I was a virgin/inexperienced and stated he was very insecure of his performance since he was dumped due to his inexperience. I didn't care if he was inexperienced or was a virgin, but man that blatant insecurity and inappropriate first meet question immediately turned me off. It was like he was telling me don't you dare be experienced or I'm going to be highly insecure and I expect sex very soon. Yikes.

I think we only care if it's our first time, and we want to feel special .

 

I can say for myself, not being a teen or in my twenties anymore, that I want an experienced man. I figure my men have all lied anyway about their numbers. But I can tell the difference between very experienced and not.

 

You don't need to tell anyone. Wondering your age, though. If a man was still a virgin at 25 and older, I'd probably question why.

What's the number guys tell you ? 50 when they are sober and 100 after a beer?

I think we only care if it's our first time, and we want to feel special .

 

I can say for myself, not being a teen or in my twenties anymore, that I want an experienced man. I figure my men have all lied anyway about their numbers. But I can tell the difference between very experienced and not.

 

You don't need to tell anyone. Wondering your age, though. If a man was still a virgin at 25 and older, I'd probably question why.

Thanks, SweetGirl28. I'll be 41 in September. I suffer from severe anxiety and OCD, have managed a few relationships over the years but never been able to have sex, which has ultimately been the end of them. I've therefore mostly avoided them, no point putting some poor girl through that. I manage ok alone usually, but occasionally wonder stuff like this...deep down I know it's all hypothetical for me though. Thanks for replying :-)