BF is calling for a "break" again...

Hello. I am a lady in her mid fifties. I spent many years alone after my husband died young. I raised my kids by myself. I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years. It was my first BF in many years. I truly love this man with all my heart. But there has been a lot of drama, mainly with his ex and the adult child who is not into me. There have been times when I have blown up on him due to the stress of all the inappropriate ex interactions (my take) - no boundaries primarily being the problem. Tonight he called for a "couple of weeks break", because he is not happy, and he cited some of my past blow ups for needing this break. I have been down this road before and I have cried my eyes out. I begin to blame myself for losing this wonderful man. But truth be told, the stress from the ex and child has been enormous and emotionally draining for me. But then I think of all the good... which there is a lot of, that's why I hung in there. Bottom line, this could be the end of the road. His call, my call, or a mutual decision. I am leaning towards exiting the relationship, as painful as that will be. I can't deal with the ex constantly visiting the adult daughter in his house, and all the other inappropriate interactions. I cried most of the evening after he sent me home. I think I know what I gotta do (or what he may do), and that is, end this and move on. At my age it is a concern, finding someone decent. I think I stayed this long for fear of being alone. The pool of fifty something year old men isn't that deep. I guess time will tell. He sent a text to make sure I got home OK. I said yes, thanks. Honestly hearing from him only made me sob. I was doing OK up until then. During this two week period I am not sure if texting is a good idea. I think I need to prepare myself for a break up. It's so hard but the problems seem insurmountable. I love him and I always will, but I guess that ain't enough.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time, OP.

I would not be texting him throughout these next two weeks. You need space for yourself, too. It looks as though the issues that bother you (regarding his ex and their child) are not going to change, so I think it's better to part ways now.

Well, if your boyfriend gives you a second chance, the only way out of this mess is that you have to ignore as much as possible and not criticize his ex. You're not married to him and you have no right to complain whatever's going on at his house. You have to be pleasant and polite and smile at everyone. You're the odd man (woman) out in this situation and you're not part of his family. If you can't behave yourself, no matter what they do to you, you'll have to find a widower who won't have an ex interfering or just settle for being alone. .

But truth be told, the stress from the ex and child has been enormous and emotionally draining for me.

I would have a tough time with a "no boundaries" ex situation as well.

You don't have to put up with anything that you are not comfortable with. But understand that this probably means that you have to exit the situation altogether. A good partner will be sensitive to your needs and will work around them. It seems as though your boyfriend's response to your stress is to withhold his love until you fall back in line. Is that the relationship that you want? I think you can find a lot better. You can have a relationship that emotionally recharges you and makes you feel good about yourself. But you can't find that relationship while you are in this relationship. I think you should stop texting an cut ties. Don't settle like this.

Agreed that you should not contact him during the “break”, otherwise what’s the point of the break? During this time, figure out what you want, what you need, what makes you happy.

Thank you all. I wanted the fairy tale. I hurt but I will be OK.

Text goes out tomorrow. It's time to say goodbye. Done with the nonsense, ready to move on. I have to stop being scared, like he is the only man breathing on this earth. I am smart, educated lady and I won't sell myself short anymore. Later BF. It was nice knowing ya.

Good for you.

Good for you, as hard as it will be, you can do it. And you’ll find someone much better who deserves you.

Very good!!

He accepted we are done, no surprises there. At least I can move on now. I see my therapist tomorrow night to help deal with this. My friends and family are a great support system as well. I have mixed emotions, sometimes I feel incredibly alone, like what happened to my life, and other times empowered, kind of excited about the future, then sad, etc. I just want to be normal and not go through this. But I guess it's a process. I don't have much experience in the break up area. It isn't fun, I gotta say that.

It's rarely easy. But I think you made the right move. You will definitely feel better. Just give it time.