My mother is attempting to live on her own and it's going poorly

If you're following my drama, my mother moved in with me more than a year ago and then moved out 5 months ago. She has struggled to live on her own.

Why/how did she move out? She found a job and a room to rent. However she then quit the job and the roommate she had was pretty awful so she found a new room to rent. She's been attempting to live off of dwindling savings.

I live with my girlfriend and it got difficult having all of us live in a 1bd apartment.

Right now I'm suggesting to my mother that she live in a halfway home. I found a supposed service that provides nice homes in calm neighborhoods where you share a house and room with another person who is also transient/struggling to find a home/and in rehab. My mother does not have a drug problem so that's not a factor afflicting her. It's either that or she moves back in with my girlfriend and I for the unforeseeable future. I should mention that she's 60 years old.

Am I wrong for considering and recommending this option? I can't tell if considering a halfway home is really inappropriate. I sort of feel selfish with regards to this decision.

Would she qualify for that? Do you think she needs to be around transients and drug addicts? She seems to be making her own decisions, even if they aren't the wisest.

share a house and room with another person who is also transient/struggling to find a home/and in rehab.

I spoke to them and she would qualify. I forgot to mention that her current roommate is throwing her out in a few weeks so that's why I'm looking for a new place for her.

I would contact some type of Social Services which should be available where you live, and ask them what other options she has. Is she disabled?

Yes, definitely. If she can get on government assistance of some kind that might help her afford a room somewhere.

She's not diagnosed with any disability, no.

If you're referring to something like subsidized housing or something, the waiting list for those things are a few years.

The waiting list is a few years. That's the problem.

Have you been inside or observed a half way home for any period of time? I don't know where you live, but here a half-way home is the last place I would suggest to my 60 year old mother as a living situation. Half way homes here are fairly unregulated and the population they serve are rarely high functioning members of society.

They are absolutely needed for the clientele they service, which is typically those transitioning from prison to the real world or those that need a place to stay between detox and the treatment center, or those just getting out of recovery houses that need an interim place to stay before they find a permanent home. But not a suitable place for your mother who doesn't have any of these issues.

I don't know what they're like. The place I saw online is depicting itself as rather pleasant--photos of nice homes. I may be incorrect in calling it a half-way home. I don't know if it falls under that description. Here it is- http://shareselfhelp.org/programs/share-collaborative-housing/

Your thoughts?

Well, again, she should check into government assistance. You don't have to be disabled. She had a job recently, so she should be eligible for unemployment insurance. If she has no money, she can get on food stamps. You can get SUBSIDIZED housing (there isn't a waiting list for this - the government subsidizes your rent). There are also agencies that help the homeless. There are food shelters that give you food. Either you or she or both of you needs to go down to the local social services department and see what's available.

I don't know what they're like. The place I saw online is depicting itself as rather pleasant--photos of nice homes. I may be incorrect in calling it a half-way home. I don't know if it falls under that description. Here it is- http://shareselfhelp.org/programs/share-collaborative-housing/

 

Your thoughts?

She cannot live there unless she has been diagnosed with a disability. From what i remember, your mom was never officially diagnosed with anything?

Willing to attend at least 3 self-help support groups per week

Willingness to help with chores

Willingness to share a room with a roommate of your choice

Desire to have a job or volunteer

Are you sure your mother would ever do any of this? If she does what she usually does, she will alienate someone or be too nervous and quit her job or volunteer opportunity or will be ousted from it. Are you sure she is failing at things because she really has an issue, or is she just doing these things so that you rescue her. After all, up until a year or two ago, she didn't live with you and was a functioning adult, no?

Because she does own a home, but rents it out instead of living in it, would she qualify, or would she need to sell it to qualify?

Well, again, she should check into government assistance. You don't have to be disabled. She had a job recently, so she should be eligible for unemployment insurance. If she has no money, she can get on food stamps. You can get SUBSIDIZED housing (there isn't a waiting list for this - the government subsidizes your rent). There are also agencies that help the homeless. There are food shelters that give you food. Either you or she or both of you needs to go down to the local social services department and see what's available.

That is partially true --- I remember someone looking for an apartment in the building i was in and they asked the landlord if they accepted section 8. it is up to the landlord whether they will rent an apartment out under section 8 or not. There is a waiting list just for the fact that she can't just live anywhere -- she only can live where the landlord is willing to accept it. A large apartment complex might, but a private home in a nice neighborhood where someone has an in-law apartment or a multifamily where they live there and depend on the income from the other 2-5 units may be reluctant because there may be a delay in them receiving the money or may be hesitant

I don't know what they're like. The place I saw online is depicting itself as rather pleasant--photos of nice homes. I may be incorrect in calling it a half-way home. I don't know if it falls under that description. Here it is- http://shareselfhelp.org/programs/share-collaborative-housing/

 

Your thoughts?

Ok yes this is similar to housing provided by our provincial government in which case priority always goes to those on disability, which your mother doesn’t have according to you.

Here we have a similar program for low income seniors, is there nothing available there for senior housing?

I didn’t realize she owned her own home... why doesn’t she live in it or use the rent to subsidize her living elsewhere?

Ok yes this is similar to housing provided by our provincial government in which case priority always goes to those on disability, which your mother doesn’t have according to you.

 

Here we have a similar program for low income seniors, is there nothing available there for senior housing?

 

I didn’t realize she owned her own home... why doesn’t she live in it or use the rent to subsidize her living elsewhere?

Edit: I just read some of your other posts so the above has been answered... I also think based on your description of your mother she could easily get qualified for disability based on her anxiety and depression impacting her quality of life and employment.

Edit: I just read some of your other posts so the above has been answered... I also think based on your description of your mother she could easily get qualified for disability based on her anxiety and depression impacting her quality of life and employment.

I've been so busy working I haven't had much time to focus on her lately. She's basically homeless/transient now. Which is a broad description. She has no permanent address now and I have a feeling she won't have one for a few more years. Hopefully in a month I'll have more time to look into disability although ironically she's been trying to handle her anxiety better. Her foolishness doesn't count as a disability unfortunately.