Should I have stayed with my EX or my NEW GF??

So I haven’t talked to my ex in almost a year. This is the LONGEST we’ve ever been broken up. We had an “off & on” relationship for 4 years, but I decided to finally end the cycle. (In plus, she said she couldn’t even have friendship with me.) So I just moved on, and never looked back. I can’t lie I think about her from time to time, but she crosses my mind the most when me & my new girlfriend get into it. (Now the girl I’m currently with, was the same girl I cheated on my ex with.) Me and my new gf been dating/together for 2 years. I decided to be with her after me & my ex, because there was more CHEMISTRY I felt. She gave me more ATTENTION/AFFECTION, and she’s like my BEST FRIEND! The only thing is, she’s VIOLENT. I never had that problem with my ex, so it turns me off! My new gf don’t know how to control her anger in heated arguments. It have gotten so bad that the police was involved multiple times. It caused her to have something on her background now. She’s still a little immature to me with the way she handle situations, and her lack of ambition TURNS ME OFF! This is what makes me often think of my EX. My ex was more cool, calm, & collected. She’s very ambitious, & head strong. She has a lot going for herself, and sometimes I feel like I should’ve just stayed with her...and that it was NOT WORTH cheating on her, for the girl I’m with now. I’m stuck between a rock & a hard place, between choosing someone who has it ALL, but they still didn’t give me the attention/affection I’m looking for...and someone who DON’T have it all, they give me all of the attention/affection I need...BUT THEY’RE VIOLENT! What should I do?? If I considered talking back to my ex, how can I even reach out to her? What if she’s seeing someone else now? I don’t want to look like a fool again. HELP PLEASE!

This must be the theme of the day.

Choosing between two evils.

How about not choosing either and choosing yourself?

Be single. . even it's for a moment.

Take the time to learn some things about yourself and in turn become selective and make better choices.

You shouldn't be involved with her or the on/off ex. Clean the whole slate and start fresh with less crazy women.

It have gotten so bad that the police was involved multiple times.

lol....I very doubt that you have the choice that you imagine to have. When you cheat on someone, that tends to end things with that person permanently. I don't think your ex is an option for you.

As for the current psycho you are dating - just dump her already and be done.

Maybe take some time off and be single and sort out your effed up self so you don't keep doing what you've been doing.

This must be the theme of the day.

Choosing between two evils.

 

How about not choosing either and choosing yourself?

 

Be single. . even it's for a moment.

 

Take the time to learn some things about yourself and in turn become selective and make better choices.

Very true. I agree I probably should just choose neither & start over! Far as the “learn myself”, that’s a pretty cliche answer people usually say. Me learning myself or having time to myself isn’t the problem! I’ve had a lot of ME time before. Lol. That’s not the case. Thanks!

You shouldn't be involved with her or the on/off ex. Clean the whole slate and start fresh with less crazy women.

Very true! I like the way you think. Thanks for your advice.

lol....I very doubt that you have the choice that you imagine to have. When you cheat on someone, that tends to end things with that person permanently. I don't think your ex is an option for you.

 

As for the current psycho you are dating - just dump her already and be done.

 

Maybe take some time off and be single and sort out your effed up self so you don't keep doing what you've been doing.

I agree with this as well. Far as my ex, she wasn’t a saint neither though! She definitely have done her share of dirt too, the only difference between her & me is that I actually own up to my faults, and she never did. She’ll take her lies to her grave. Everything you said though makes sense though!

The girl you're with now is your Karma.

If you are any kind of smart, you'll dump the girl who is reaping your Karma on you and you'll never again call your ex. Yes, wipe the slate clean and start new with someone you are at least compatible with. Quit settling.

The girl you're with now is your Karma.

 

If you are any kind of smart, you'll dump the girl who is reaping your Karma on you and you'll never again call your ex. Yes, wipe the slate clean and start new with someone you are at least compatible with. Quit settling.

Beautifully said! I’ve started thinking she was my “Karma” as well. Lol. Although in the beginning, she was like PERFECT! Everything I needed emotionally. But my ex was NO SAINT neither, she has done her dirt as well. She just never owns up to her lies, I did. Thank you for your advice.

It sounds like you're being both emotionally and physically abused by this girl. Don't be fooled into thinking that having knock down, drag out fights with her is an indication of how much she loves you. It's abuse on her part and emotional dependency on your part. You're in a toxic relationship and you need to get out. You can Google emotional abuse and emotional dependency and see if your relationship measures up.

It sounds like you're being both emotionally and physically abused by this girl. Don't be fooled into thinking that having knock down, drag out fights with her is an indication of how much she loves you. It's abuse on her part and emotional dependency on your part. You're in a toxic relationship and you need to get out. You can Google emotional abuse and emotional dependency and see if your relationship measures up.

Trust me, I know it’s not an indication of “love”. That’s what I told her. I’m very much aware of that. The thing is, she ONLY gets violent whenever I try to leave her. Whenever I want space, she goes crazy! That’s the only time she’s ever violent. But I need a WOMAN that’s going to respect my boundaries, my space, and most of all...MY TEMPLE!!! I need a WOMAN that’s mature enough to handle situations more civilized, and not violently.

Trust me, I know it’s not an indication of “love”. That’s what I told her. I’m very much aware of that. The thing is, she ONLY gets violent whenever I try to leave her. Whenever I want space, she goes crazy! That’s the only time she’s ever violent. But I need a WOMAN that’s going to respect my boundaries, my space, and most of all...MY TEMPLE!!! I need a WOMAN that’s mature enough to handle situations more civilized, and not violently.

Then for all that is good, stop monkey branch dating and break up with one before you start with another and actually get to know someone before you get so involved.

Leave her and don't allow her to contact you again. You need permanent SPACE from her... don't TRY to leave her, just get up and do it and let her know its done via email.

Then for all that is good, stop monkey branch dating and break up with one before you start with another and actually get to know someone before you get so involved.

 

Leave her and don't allow her to contact you again. You need permanent SPACE from her... don't TRY to leave her, just get up and do it and let her know its done via email.

We live together. It’s not as easy as it seem. I refuse to be the one that up & leave my place & my belongings. I always have to get the police involved to make her leave. Far as taking the time to get to know someone before getting involved, I made that mistake in my past, so I did take the time to get to know this girl! Lol. I just didn’t know that she had a “violent streak”, when a person tries to leave her.

You have to much history with both woman, your current gf is clearly dangerous and a hazard. While you have to much history with your old partner and it won't be beneficial for you to pursue either relationship. Start clean find somebody new and remove the baggage of the past.

You have to much history with both woman, your current gf is clearly dangerous and a hazard. While you have to much history with your old partner and it won't be beneficial for you to pursue either relationship. Start clean find somebody new and remove the baggage of the past.

I love your response! I’ve come to the conclusion that that’s the best choice for me. Thank you!