No Respect- what to do?

Hey everyone, I’ve read these forums for several years, and I am now finally making an account and this is my first post.

Basically this: my boyfriend shows me no respect. 0. We have been together for 2+ years and sortof lived together (I was there 3-4 days per week).

1 week ago, I went on a mini-vaca without him (he couldn’t go) because my best friend had asked me to go to the beach. He was IRATE. I have tried getting him to go places, even more local (a couple hours away) and he won’t tear away from his drinking buddies long enough to do so. He had even used up all of his vacation days to hang out at home with them. He was still bringing this vacation up 6 days later In a negative way.

He continues being an assclown all week long and talking about me not taking him with me. 5 days ago he says that “he doesn’t know how he feels about me”. He was intoxicated. It didn’t sit well with me. The next morning I packed my things, moved out, and have not spoken to him since.

He didn’t even take me seriously, not even the following morning! Not until the moment he realized that I was walking out the door to get in my car and I was going to be GONE. His last words to me were “you’ll regret this. You can’t live without me. Go ahead, go, you’ll be back. You will be lost without me.”

It has been (today makes) 5 days. I left him. He has called, emailed, texted, has his friends add me and stalk me on social media (I blocked him). But, I’m all of these messages, there has been NO apology, acknowledgement of what he said, nor has he taken any responsibility for his words or actions. A mutual friend told me how miserable he is.

The thing is, YES I would love to work this out. But, if he really feels like he “doesn’t know how he feels about me”, then I’m not sure that I should risk putting myself back out there for him. I want to respond, because he told the mutual friend that it doesn’t seem like I care to speak to him. But I feel that if he is going to contact me at all, then he had better include, at the bare minimum, a sincere apology (and probably acknowledgement and take responsibility). I feel like, responding to him shows him that I am willing to put up with this type of treatment.

What should I do?

When you demonstrate self-respect, people respect you. Hanging on to a guy who doesn't want to be with you, prefers his buddies and who you refer to as an assclown is all wrong, don't you think? End the misery for both of you and free yourself to find someone you respect and who respects you.

Congrats!! You got rid of an anchor!

I envy your strength and you should be proud! No, you really don't want to work this out because he is NOT good enough for you or mature enough for you. Don't settle. You can do better.

He needs the time to man the up. Go NC and don't entertain anything until 6 months to a year has passed and if he's been single and working on himself, his selfishness and bad habits, then maybe you can be friends again.

I think you have done the right thing in ending this relationship. Who needs an "assclown?" No one! I'm not sure why you would want to work this out with him. Respect is the building block of a relationship, without it you don't have one.

Go no contact and stay that way. Work on yourself, mentally and physically. It sounds like you are very much emotionally tied to the relationship so being string and staying no contact is going to get harder. You will start to forget the bad and dwell on the good, trust me. But do not be fooled. IT will take a lot for him to change. I' not saying it isn't possible, but as Johnny Utah said it's going to take a few months or longer for him to mature/change.

We are all here for you.

Mitch

I agree that this relationship seems to have run it's course.

But if it's an apology you are wanting, at least create the opportunity. By shutting him out you will never know.

By the sounds of it he may disappoint you in the end and you won't hear what you are needing to in order to make this relationship work.

But at least it will confirm what you already know and you can work on moving forward.

Anyone who tells you that you can't live without them is abusive, and possibly narcissistic. It sounds like he simply wants to control you, and it's the lack of control over you that is sending him into a panic at the moment. He didn't respect you while you were in a relationship with him, and I can promise you that if you return to the relationship, it will be the same story. It sounds like you have a clear view of the situation and are just looking for encouragement to move forward, so here it is: DO IT! I've had to learn the hard way too many times that ignoring your own needs in a relationship is a recipe for disaster. Let him go someone else's life up and pat yourself on the back for getting out.

This guy doesn't care about you, prioritizes getting wasted with his friends over you, tries to manipulate you, and behaves like a stroppy teenager all around.

You go on to say you would love to work this out - may I ask why?