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Thread: We're already close to each other but he told me he is not ready to have relatio

  1. #1

    We're already close to each other but he told me he is not ready to have relatio

    We met at university and we are in same faculty and in the same project group. We begin to become so close at March, before that we basically just a friend flirty joke etc. At that time I never thought if any of that was serious. Some things happen and we might cross the line of just being friends (we just realize there is feeling connected to this) and we withdraw and awkward but we already overcome this. I even go out with him twice after that just the two of us, we held hand together and surely maintaining eye contact. The suddenly when I was in his house a few days ago, he told me about his experiences with his ex which they broke up not so long ago. He is pretty much hurt and thought that he no wanted to get his education and career on so when the time come he just propose (in muslim they have this ta'aruf thing where the guy meet the parent to married their daughter without perfoming any dating) (and yes we have different religion and culture) I tried to change his negatives mind of dating because that's not true. He just hurt and I told him he is childish and the suppose relationship is to make you a better person together not to give and expect less for yourself and that kind of just propose is outdated and nonsense. In the end it's the individual that determined the result of relationship. He didn't listen. I know he know about my feeling about him. And then suddenly he said something like that. I don't know if he just playing with my feeling. I wanted to hear what you think and what action will you take.

  2. #2
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    Doesn't he just want to marry you so he can have sex with you under Muslim law? And then he can just divorce you and leave you when he says so. And all this in just two months? Some Muslim couples date for years before marrying. Tell the guy to get lost. You want a nice boy, not someone who just wants sex.

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    I think you need to move on. he does not want a relationship and you deserve one. Men who are very sold on the idea of marriages like you speak of cannot be convinced otherwise. If you "insist" on dating him, you will only end up heartbroken when he meets a woman he wants to marry. He is not over his ex at this point and was very CLeAR to you what his intentions are and you should accept them for your own dignity --- enjoy the fact that you had a few nice dates and find a guy who is not pining for an ex, and is looking to date someone in hopes of finding a serious relationship.

  4. #4
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    btw, he is not playing with you. he was very clear about the fact that there is no future with you.

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  6. #5
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    You insulted him and his culture, religion and traditions. Why? To convince him to date you? Perhaps he'll string you along or have sex with you but for serious girls he'll follow his culture, not your arguments.
    Originally Posted by LaurenStev
    I tried to change his negatives mind of dating because that's not true. He just hurt and I told him he is childish He didn't listen.

  7. #6
    Oh no, I don't insulted him, we just have a few argument and he said he's fine with my opinion. He wanted to hear mine so I told him boldly.


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