Overcoming shyness.... what is it about?

Since my breakup 7 months ago, Ive been trying to improve myself. I started a journey to overcome my shyness, and discovered that i can force myself to interact in most of my day to day interactions, and this is a huge step. But whenever I do this, the next day i feel very ashamed and afraid that i have embaressed myself, or was too boring or ridiculous. Will those feelings ever fade? I can keep challenging myself to interact, but the self loathing afterwards is almost unbearable. Also, I worry I might have avoidant personality disorder....

I can’t tell you what’s “normal” - but I can tell you about me...

I am definitely shy and introverted by nature - but this was never acceptable to my parents and they forced me from a very young age to push through it. I can now kind of turn it on or put on a mask and pretend to be outgoing - some people actually have told me they thought I am extroverted and outgoing - but they would be wrong. Lol! It definitely still drains me and takes a lot out of me. I can only do it in spurts.

Before I approach someone new, I still stop in my tracks for a moment. I need to contemplate it and take a deep breath. I need that moment to muster up the courage. After the interaction, I do question myself about it and wonder if I made a fool of myself. “Ashamed” is a strong word. I do not feel ashamed but I do feel a little insecure about it. But then - I let pride take over. I pat myself on the back for actually getting out there and doing that - and I tell myself that it doesn’t matter what they think. That I did my best, that it’s more than what some others could do, and that my best is all anyone can ask for. I let the pride outshine the insecurity. The insecurity is still there, though. Lol!

So - yes - I think I still go through the “steps” you described... but they are far less intense and there is a lot of self-talk going on to muster up the courage and then congratulate myself for a job well done.

But it’s draining.

Practice, practice, practice! The more you do something successfully, the less you will fear it. You just have to keep going and be your own best friend and biggest cheerleader.

I can keep challenging myself to interact, but the self loathing afterwards is almost unbearable.

I have been in your shoes. Check out this page, please read through the entire page.

http://shynesssocialanxiety.com/inferiority-complex/

Let me know if it helps you amigo or even if I am way off with a quick message. Thanks.

Thanks! I was reading some of your threads, and would like to know... have you managed to overcome your shyness?

Shyness is serious problem to millions of people.It is often known to be an inherent character.Howevr,since you have absolute control of yourself,you must first eliminate all negative thoughts from your mind.The mind is the greatest weapon so if you allow positive thoughts to prevail in your daily life, shyness wouldn't be your friend anymore.In all,you might be suffereng from inferiority complex or depression.

"Remember no one can

can make you feel

inferior without

your consent”

— Eleanor Roosevel

If nobody is helping you out,do it yourself;learn the perfect way to boost your confidence to be the kind of person you want to be.At least know how to overcome inferiority complex to stay on top of your life

The cause of shyness is often disputed but it is found that fear is positively related to shyness. I know you can overcome it mate!!