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Thread: Just as I stop searching, he appears

  1. #1
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    Just as I stop searching, he appears

    I said I was going off line and not using dating apps, and leaving meeting someone to chance.
    The weirdest thing has happened. I had been thinking of my first love's best friend for a few weeks now.
    Just wondering how he is, as his wife passed away (a couple of years ago) leaving him with a daughter to raise alone.

    Well what happens tonight? I'm in the grocery store, and there he is. Fate? Coincidence? Meant to cross my path right now for a reason? Who knows. I do believe people are put in our path for a reason though. But anyway, we chat, and he says "I would be honored if you'd grab a drink with me and catch up, if it's not too weird being I'm (insert name here) best friend. Hmmmm. I thought for a second, and said "I'll call him right now and ask! " And I did! I have my ex first love on speaker phone, and he says "you're hitting on my woman! Kidding. Can't think of a better man for her besides myself, and she deserves the best" awwwwww so sweet he is . So anyway this guy is 50 shades of red, and we hang up with my ex, and he says "I'm not hitting on you, but I'd still be honored to get that drink and talk and I'm so pleased to run into you while you're actually single ."

    So, I'm going. Maybe this is what was meant to be? Maybe not. I get home my ex texts me that his friend called him and said "I don't want to invade on your territory, but she's so damn easy to talk to, but I'll cancel if you want me too." So much respect going around here, like it feels wrong to us both!
    My ex said he told him "no, you take her out and remind her what she deserves, have lots of money though because she can eat! Take care of her for me, I'm not there to do that."

    This, this is what real love and friendship of an ex is supposed to be. This is the ex we joke about being together , and would be, if I could move. Yet he's telling his best friend to take me out and treat me like a woman deserves. We have that understanding, and have for years, that we live our lives and if wecarecstill single when I can relocate, we be together. If we move on, and it never happens, it wasn't meant to be. I feel blessed, I feel excited, I feel like he's been placed at a time when I've been really struggling to find goodness and renew trust and faith in men. . Maybe he's just the portal to me rebuilding it, don't know. I know he dearly loved his wife and probably is still hurt. Maybe he needs someone like me to help him through, who knows. What I do know is if this leads anywhere, I'll be one very lucky woman. This is a good man with strong values, morals, and integrity. A hard worker, loyal, family man. Not a partier, not a player, not an abuser. Made me remember that we often will look too hard, when something so easy might be right before us.


    Feels a little weird, which is why I'm writing this. I'm wanting to know if anyone has ever hung out/ befriended an ex love's friend. I'm not saying we will fall for one another, I'm not expecting anything, just two former non strangers catching up for right now. I myself have never stayed friends with an exe's friends. This guy and I and my ex go way back to our teens/ early twenties. It shouldn't be weird considering we talked to my first love.

  2. #2
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    Slow down yikes. You know you're projecting right now. Life isn't a fairytale, keep your head on straight.

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    You eat that much? :P

    Hope it goes well but don't get over excited

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    These things happen. I hope it works out for you.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Can't think of a better man for her besides myself, and she deserves the best"
    For what? Drinks? Things need to slow right down. Concentrate on making a new friend not on marrying this guy.

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    Aww, okay. You are all making it sound like I'm planning marraige! No. My point is that I truly believe people are put in our path, or back in our path, for a reason. If you don't believe in it, it's okay. Going to find out why anyway . My other point is that he is a good man, after hmmm, I'm thinking at least 15 different men I've gone on a date with in the past 9 months since my ex and I split, with only being attracted to about 3, which for good reasons I could not pursue. Will it lead to something? Idk, maybe friendship, maybe more. Whatever is okay. It's just nice that after praying and hoping for someone decent to appear, this happened. Keeps hope alive, that's all. That there are good, decent men who are single. Hope for everyone out there who seems like throwing the towel in sometimes. I didn't expect to get replies telling me to slow down, I was asking if anyone ever had something come of being attracted to a best friend of a former love .

    DanZee, thank you, you seem to get what my point is, lol.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by Honeycomb8
    Slow down yikes. You know you're projecting right now. Life isn't a fairytale, keep your head on straight.
    No worries, it is on straight.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    SW

    I read your post and I kind of took it as three People communicating and being open with each other. You all kind of have an inside look into a long, intertwined relationship-- their friendship, your marriage, your friendship with him as your hubs best friends.

    I always think it's worth it to have good Communications with the parents of your child. And if this BFF can make him less how he is. I get it.

    I think some might have taken your initial statement about meeting someone and dating your ex 's bff.

    I look at it from a higher level like hoping to attract quality people in your life and not try so hard and then someone came along and kind of made the situation brighter.

    Looking forward to seeing what kind of doors this opens.

  10. #9
    Gold Member Cope's Avatar
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    Hey! Good luck with him! Keep us posted!!

  11. #10
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    I think it's interesting how folks are telling you to keep your head on "straight."

    They're probably right, but who ever does when we meet someone who intrigues and excites us, it does feel like fate!

    That said, the way your post is written, it does sound like you're hoping he is the guy who's gonna save you from your mundane existence at least re your dating life.

    I can relate! lol

    But yeah slow down (your thoughts and expectations) cause same thing has happened to me (different circumstances) and after two or three dates realized um, no thanks.

    But hey, good to think positively, have fun and enjoy!

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