No Matchs after 8 Weeks

In a modern world that has embraced the digital age it’s not so uncommon to know one or many people that have turned to the online dating world to find a partner, eight weeks ago after a year single and struggling to find a connection in my day-2-day life I decided to join them.

I’ve now had an active account on two of the more well know free dating apps (Tinder / Bumble) for just under 8 weeks, at first I was intrigued to see if they hype and success that so many seem to tout on the internet and YouTube was true.

Well I sit here, almost 8 weeks into this and I’ve not made a single match, not one. Is this the reality of these types of dating apps or have I missed something and for some reason don’t seem to make a match?

So I guess my question is, are dating apps mainly myth or is there some substance to actually using them and why would I after such a long time still not made one match? (If it’s the latter how would I improve this)?

I haven't have the slightest clue but I heard it really has everything to do with your profile. Not sure though

I think it depends on what you say in your profile, what your photos look like, and where you live. Talk with a trusted friend and show them your photos. Review you photos - are they recent? Flattering? Relevant? (That is, photos of you, not photos of your car, nephews, or a sunset.) if I couldn’t clearly see the face of the guy, I would not swipe right. Or if he only posted group photos and I didn’t know who the person was.

As as for the profile, something short and positive is better than saying you’re bitter and angry about the dating scene.

I found my guy before Tinder became hot or at least I became aware of it. I never saw my guy's profile, but he found me? Why? I needed to increase my age range by one year in order to find him (which is no big deal). I would also be clear about what you are looking for. To me, Tinder is more of a hookup app or one that unless you are under 22, you really don't take seriously.

I think that if you want to find a match on Tinder, you can't just wait. You have to swipe on women as well. Also, what about trying a more traditional dating site as well, where people fill out a more thoughtful profile and have more room on it? Also join Meetup. I wouldn't put all my eggs in one basket.

If you have unique interests, and are particular about whom you date, I suggest joining a club or group that is of the same interests.

Note: Online dating sites are not a magic bullet. In a lot of cases, if you struggle to get dates irl, you are going to have the same with online. Remember you are selling yourself....you just can't focus on what YOU want. You have to think about what is going to attract potential dates.

You didn't say whether you're a boy or a girl. I will say that on Tinder, it's mostly up to the guys to pick girls. On Bumble, it's up to the girls. But girls are very selective and the advice given above is something to consider. Is your profile good? Is your photo good?

Another thing to consider is where do you live? If you're in a big city, people are more likely to pick you on impulse. If you're out in the country, there may be no one in the area.

Also think about who you are looking for. As abitbroken said, increasing the age range by one year led to success. On the other hand, you don't want to be looking for someone 18-99, that's too wide a range.

I haven't have the slightest clue but I heard it really has everything to do with your profile. Not sure though

Well my profile is pretty short and mainly just contains a simplistic list of info rather than large clunky paragraphs.

I think it depends on what you say in your profile, what your photos look like, and where you live. Talk with a trusted friend and show them your photos. Review you photos - are they recent? Flattering? Relevant? (That is, photos of you, not photos of your car, nephews, or a sunset.) if I couldn’t clearly see the face of the guy, I would not swipe right. Or if he only posted group photos and I didn’t know who the person was.

 

As as for the profile, something short and positive is better than saying you’re bitter and angry about the dating scene.

I’ve included 4 photos within my profile, two are directly of my face, front on and centre (clear, not mirror selfies), the third is a side on photo and the final one is a “silly” one of my brother and I wearing funny hats at a festival.

I’d rather not really ask a friend, it’s embarrassing enough getting 0 matches without broadcasting it to others :(

My profile is a straight-to-the-point list of attributes, interests and likes (Non-Smoker, Social Drinker, Gigs and Live Music etc etc):

// Rock-Alt-Indie // Photography // Traveling // Movies // Festivals, Gigs & Live Music // Dogs not Cats // Mediterranean Cuisine // No interest in Football // Non-Smoker // Social Drinker //

Pretty much the above.

I found my guy before Tinder became hot or at least I became aware of it. I never saw my guy's profile, but he found me? Why? I needed to increase my age range by one year in order to find him (which is no big deal). I would also be clear about what you are looking for. To me, Tinder is more of a hookup app or one that unless you are under 22, you really don't take seriously.

 

I think that if you want to find a match on Tinder, you can't just wait. You have to swipe on women as well. Also, what about trying a more traditional dating site as well, where people fill out a more thoughtful profile and have more room on it? Also join Meetup. I wouldn't put all my eggs in one basket.

My age range is set from 24-32 with a distance of 35km, maybe I’m expecting to match with someone on my doorstep and need to increase my potential distance?

I’m a little unsure what you mean by I need to swipe on women as well? As far as I was aware we both need to swipe right to match, so I’ve done “my bit” in going through the potential matches in my area and swiped right on people I would be interested in.

More traditional in what sense? I don’t want to go down the pay route to also get no matches (which is highly likely)?

If you have unique interests, and are particular about whom you date, I suggest joining a club or group that is of the same interests.

 

Note: Online dating sites are not a magic bullet. In a lot of cases, if you struggle to get dates irl, you are going to have the same with online. Remember you are selling yourself....you just can't focus on what YOU want. You have to think about what is going to attract potential dates.

I wouldn’t say I’m overly particular, sure I don’t right swipe every profile that crosses my screen but I’m by no means only swiping “10’s” that would most likely not swipe me back.

I don’t really do any sport or have a huge range of hobbies so finding a connection through that might pose difficult.

Well tbh I’m not really sure what attracts a date, from the things I’ve read and watched on YouTube it appears that the majority of females want to be done over by douche “grafters” or guys with “Bro” mentality with “confidence” that I would perceive as nothing more than juvenile, crude and uneducated type behaviour, clearly I’m wrong and this is the way to go as all the females can’t help but jump on board and dance to their tune.

You didn't say whether you're a boy or a girl. I will say that on Tinder, it's mostly up to the guys to pick girls. On Bumble, it's up to the girls. But girls are very selective and the advice given above is something to consider. Is your profile good? Is your photo good?

 

Another thing to consider is where do you live? If you're in a big city, people are more likely to pick you on impulse. If you're out in the country, there may be no one in the area.

 

Also think about who you are looking for. As abitbroken said, increasing the age range by one year led to success. On the other hand, you don't want to be looking for someone 18-99, that's too wide a range.

I’m a guy, but I believed both apps would hit the medium and proved the opportunity form both end of the spectrum, both of my accounts are at a point where there are no more people available within my area, I have never used up my daily amount of right swipes on either app.

I guess it would really depend what you interoperate as good, from my perspective it seems decent enough, but the opinions of another may differ enormously (opinions would even be split by just the small amount of replies within this thread).

I live in a rural area, I’m around 20km from the nearest city so have sent my distance range to 35km in an effort to increase my chances (although this doesn’t seem to have worked).

I have my age range set to 24-32, I’m 32 myself next month so really wouldn’t want to drop down under 24, my other problem is I’m a young looking 32 so extending much beyond that and it’s going to look like someone in their mid 30’s that’s dating someone ten years younger (I would doubt many women want to be the older looking in a relationship, but it could be wrong).

I’ve included 4 photos within my profile, two are directly of my face, front on and centre (clear, not mirror selfies), the third is a side on photo and the final one is a “silly” one of my brother and I wearing funny hats at a festival.

Ditch the side view -- this is not a police line up. You need a good photo where your face is seen --- but doesn't have to be extreme closeup. Are you smiling genuinely? And a full body shot. The silly hat shot? could someone think you were drunk? do you look enough alike where they wouldn't know which one is you? What about a picture of you traveling? Or once a picture stood out to me of a guy playing a guitar outside and you could see his motorcycle in the background. i didn't date him but it told me what the guy was about. He looked like a fun camp counselor.

I think you should increase your age range. Go 25-34. It seems guys only want to date women who are younger when someone who is a year older than you might be the best match and you could be missing out on her. In your 30s, a year or two makes no difference. What if she has a cat but is a match otherwise? she won't find you

Do you want kids? Someone who says their interests are music festivals and nightlife might not attract a woman who is studying for her masters or wants kids. If you like travel and photography -- what about a picture of you in front of the Eiffel tower or a museum or something. The problem with your interests is a lot of people like travel and music festivals - but what are the interests that make you stand out? You say you like Indie rock. Do you play an instrument or collect records? Or can you not carry a tune and are tone deaf? You say you like to travel -- do you like it because you are a history nerd? Or are you the type of guy who works for a few months and then travels for a few months and doesn't have much direction?

In otherwords, show some personality - but what are you looking for in a relationship? are you looking to 'date to eventually find a long term relationship or marriage" "casual dates" or what

The thing about living in a small population area is that the apps you are trying simply may not be what's "in" in that location. That is something I've noticed. You have to find what everyone is using in that area and jump on that bandwagon. The other apps will be dead.

Also, your pics simply might not be the best even if they are clear and aren't blurry bathroom selfies. At least ask your friends just purely about the pics - female friends. Just give them a dozen pics and let them pick out the best ones they like. It's possible they'll pick totally different pics from what you would, but trust them. Remember you are trying to attract females.

I’ve included 4 photos within my profile, two are directly of my face, front on and centre (clear, not mirror selfies), the third is a side on photo and the final one is a “silly” one of my brother and I wearing funny hats at a festival.

 

Ditch the side view -- this is not a police line up. You need a good photo where your face is seen --- but doesn't have to be extreme closeup. Are you smiling genuinely? And a full body shot. The silly hat shot? could someone think you were drunk? do you look enough alike where they wouldn't know which one is you? What about a picture of you traveling? Or once a picture stood out to me of a guy playing a guitar outside and you could see his motorcycle in the background. i didn't date him but it told me what the guy was about. He looked like a fun camp counselor.

 

I think you should increase your age range. Go 25-34. It seems guys only want to date women who are younger when someone who is a year older than you might be the best match and you could be missing out on her. In your 30s, a year or two makes no difference. What if she has a cat but is a match otherwise? she won't find you

 

Do you want kids? Someone who says their interests are music festivals and nightlife might not attract a woman who is studying for her masters or wants kids. If you like travel and photography -- what about a picture of you in front of the Eiffel tower or a museum or something. The problem with your interests is a lot of people like travel and music festivals - but what are the interests that make you stand out? You say you like Indie rock. Do you play an instrument or collect records? Or can you not carry a tune and are tone deaf? You say you like to travel -- do you like it because you are a history nerd? Or are you the type of guy who works for a few months and then travels for a few months and doesn't have much direction?

 

In otherwords, show some personality - but what are you looking for in a relationship? are you looking to 'date to eventually find a long term relationship or marriage" "casual dates" or what

Haha, I like that one, it doesn’t look like something from a police line up but I’ll take it out. None of them are extremely close up, my neck, shoulders top of chest are visible, pretty much a standard “headshot” type photo. Part smiling but not showing teeth. None of the photos would be a full body shot (why would this be important?).

Yeah they could think we had maybe had a few drinks but we don’t look by any means drunk. We are identical twins so yeah very much a like (my twin is a huge part of my life so I’d rather this be known from the get-go, just like a single mum posts photos with their children).

Pretty much all of my traveling pictures are with ex partners, I don’t tend to travel places alone (I don’t play guitar or own a motorcycle either lol!).

The issue with looking beyond 32 is that I still live at my parents, it’s hard enough explaining that to someone slightly younger and would be almost impossible to someone older.

I’m allergic, so it’s a flat no from the start with no compromise as there simply isn’t one (no one is going to give up their pet to date someone, I know I wouldn’t).

Kids, possibly at some point but not right now, I feel I’m a fair way from that as I haven’t achieved in other areas of my life which would take priority over that (I don’t want to meet someone who is just looking to settle straight into a family situation).

I think the problem with photography as a hobby is that you spend your time behind the lens taking the shots and very rarely in front of it, most of my photography is events and people based so not really something that I would look to upload into a dating app profile.

To be honest I don’t really know, most of my hobbies and social activities died off when friends started to settle and have families, they are now that busy with their family life that the social part is down to a couple of social events a year and most don’t get the time to enjoy activities or hobbies.

Unfortunately my ability to play an instrument, sing, well pretty much anything that falls into talent or arts is a no go.... in a talent focused world I’m unique in the fact that I have none.

I hold down a steady job but enjoy getting time away to explore and indulge in other cultures (if your ideal holiday is two weeks in Benidorm then it’s a no from me), I’ve seen Paris, Rome, Barcelona, Cologne, Athens to name but a few, I’ve been to Las Vegas and LA plus loads of other locations around the world (hopefully going to travel to parts of Asia next year).

Most definitely dates that are leading somewhere, I’m not getting any younger, my early 20’s are behind me and I’m happy to start planning a real future with someone.

The thing about living in a small population area is that the apps you are trying simply may not be what's "in" in that location. That is something I've noticed. You have to find what everyone is using in that area and jump on that bandwagon. The other apps will be dead.

 

Also, your pics simply might not be the best even if they are clear and aren't blurry bathroom selfies. At least ask your friends just purely about the pics - female friends. Just give them a dozen pics and let them pick out the best ones they like. It's possible they'll pick totally different pics from what you would, but trust them. Remember you are trying to attract females.

How would I find out what the “in app” is for my area though? There seem to be a fair amount of women on Bumble / Tinder, I’d guess I’ve been through upwards of 500 or so profiles so it seems fairly populated from my perspective, even if I’ve not been lucky enough in finding a match.

Not really sure how to go about that, it still sounds like explaining my dire situation publicly to others in a cry for help. Not helped by the majority of female friends being colleagues at work... which would be the last place I want my social life interrogated.

Try broader interests. Living at home. Is that in your profile?

Try broader interests. Living at home. Is that in your profile?

It is not, nor is my height (5’6”) which is my next stumbling block as no one wants to date short guys, my profile is exactly as written on the first page of this thread :)

If you have unique interests, and are particular about whom you date, I suggest joining a club or group that is of the same interests.

 

Note: Online dating sites are not a magic bullet. In a lot of cases, if you struggle to get dates irl, you are going to have the same with online. Remember you are selling yourself....you just can't focus on what YOU want. You have to think about what is going to attract potential dates.

I will respectfully disagree on this one. Looking at profiles and engage someone live is totally something different. Getting to know someone through face to face talk has a lot of elements in play when trying to get to know someone.

Profile reading/writing is a bit different in my opinion. you are basically trying to hook someone to message you with your profile. Everything is there in front of you, whatever you tell them on the profile. I would say the profile portion of it is like if you first see someone at whatever location. You know if you are attracted or if you are not. However that's all you get in real life. If you decided already that it was okay, the guy just needs to approach and make small talk. This is the part of messaging i suppose.

All I am saying is that profile's reveal something within the person and not just how they look. The profile needs to be engaging some what and have to have some mystery about a person so that you either reply back or send a message. Because you want to know more about a person.

I think the dating apps aren't going to work in your situation. You need a wingman to go with you to where the girls hang out and act as someone who can make an introduction between you and a girl. You might also want to ask every woman you know, even relatives, to see if they know any girls your age who are single and would like to date. When you're in the country, you've got to be more aggressive in finding women. It only takes one girl to change your life.

A couple of things - I’ve dated men younger than me, no problem. I do know a woman who gave up her cat for her boyfriend (now husband). It was hard, but she gave her to a good friend. I’d try shifting your age range up, see if that helps.

A couple of things - I’ve dated men younger than me, no problem. I do know a woman who gave up her cat for her boyfriend (now husband). It was hard, but she gave her to a good friend. I’d try shifting your age range up, see if that helps.

i think he also needs to shift is 35k range as well. You should have a car right? Try doing at least 160k? in normal driving that's like 90mins of driving. I can cover that range in a little past an hour and it's not a big deal for me to do that.

I’ve included 4 photos within my profile, two are directly of my face, front on and centre (clear, not mirror selfies), the third is a side on photo and the final one is a “silly” one of my brother and I wearing funny hats at a festival.

 

Ditch the side view -- this is not a police line up. You need a good photo where your face is seen --- but doesn't have to be extreme closeup. Are you smiling genuinely? And a full body shot.

Now a day's is an unwritten expectation. But not doing so, I would assume you have something to hide.

I would write something more specific on the profile, no wise sayings though, don't like them, but that's just my opinion. I once swiped right for a guy who had "I am a very boring guy" written on his profile. Try not to be fake, write something that really is yours. I actually hate travelling picture and if I see another one with Matchu Pitchu in the background..aaargh!!Nothing wrong with it, it's just that like a huge percentage has that specific photo!! Have to note here, I don't live the US.

As for the cat, I agree Hive, I wouldn't abandon my dog for anyone and I wouldn't want to date someone who would abandon their cat. Dates meeting my dog is actually a big thing for me.

So yeah, I don't see a huge problem with your profile, just that it's too generic like another poster said. Make it personal! I'd also change the distance and the age range, heck, put it up to 50 just to see what happens ya know? It's good to test the waters since you don't have experiences with dating apps.

Ok cheesy, but try putting the picture with your bro and writing "Sold separately" or something. I dunno, you get the feel.

Oh! Also, changing which picture shows up first is a great idea, a lot of people do it and see different results. Also, you can always try making a new account before you make any changes so you can get a fresh start.

Don't forget to superlike on tinder!

I think the dating apps aren't going to work in your situation. You need a wingman to go with you to where the girls hang out and act as someone who can make an introduction between you and a girl. You might also want to ask every woman you know, even relatives, to see if they know any girls your age who are single and would like to date. When you're in the country, you've got to be more aggressive in finding women. It only takes one girl to change your life.

I’ve tried the whole clubbing thing with friends as wingmen but only seem to meet/attract 18-21 y/o’s, which isn’t really what I’m looking for.

That’s starting to sound a little desperate though isn’t it? I can’t imagine desperate been an attractive quality.

One of the more common issue I’m encountering is that women of my age group now come with attachments and baggage (splitting from first husband, kids and the likes) all of which don’t really appeal to me.

A couple of things - I’ve dated men younger than me, no problem. I do know a woman who gave up her cat for her boyfriend (now husband). It was hard, but she gave her to a good friend. I’d try shifting your age range up, see if that helps.

How far would you suggest upping the age range? As the higher I go the larger chance of encountering the above.

i think he also needs to shift is 35k range as well. You should have a car right? Try doing at least 160k? in normal driving that's like 90mins of driving. I can cover that range in a little past an hour and it's not a big deal for me to do that.

Yeah I’ve got a car, although a 160km radius would mean I cover around 1/3rd of the U.K., sounds a little extreme.... well and desperate, or that I’m running away from something local so want to date 1/3 of the country away from when I live. This also poses the other issue of living at home with parents as it removes the option of staying at mine (160km is 1 hour 40 mins drive each way, which is a lot on a week night).

Now a day's is an unwritten expectation. But not doing so, I would assume you have something to hide.

I’m not sure what you mean by something to hide?

I would write something more specific on the profile, no wise sayings though, don't like them, but that's just my opinion. I once swiped right for a guy who had "I am a very boring guy" written on his profile. Try not to be fake, write something that really is yours. I actually hate travelling picture and if I see another one with Matchu Pitchu in the background..aaargh!!Nothing wrong with it, it's just that like a huge percentage has that specific photo!! Have to note here, I don't live the US.

 

As for the cat, I agree Hive, I wouldn't abandon my dog for anyone and I wouldn't want to date someone who would abandon their cat. Dates meeting my dog is actually a big thing for me.

 

So yeah, I don't see a huge problem with your profile, just that it's too generic like another poster said. Make it personal! I'd also change the distance and the age range, heck, put it up to 50 just to see what happens ya know? It's good to test the waters since you don't have experiences with dating apps.

Ok cheesy, but try putting the picture with your bro and writing "Sold separately" or something. I dunno, you get the feel.

Oh! Also, changing which picture shows up first is a great idea, a lot of people do it and see different results. Also, you can always try making a new account before you make any changes so you can get a fresh start.

 

 

Don't forget to superlike on tinder!

Should I be looking to complete a full bio in the profile or keep it short? Yeah I’m not an “inspirational quotes” type person, annoys me when people post them all the time on Facebook lol!

Haha could you imagine, I’d be dating someone almost the age of my Mum, seriously though 50 might be a bit of a stretch, I’ll try upping it a little but like I said previously I’m a young looking 32 so it’s already against me in that respect.

Superlike?

well 35k seem a bit too tight. It is all i am saying. I didn't know you were from the UK.

i was thinking 100miles total as a radius. It sounds reasonable to me. I mean do you plan on seeing someone EVERYDAY? that to me sounds far fetched.

Post your pics on photofeeler. You can get feedback by picking your target audience (chicks the age you want to date).

I changed my primary pic and cropped it and got a lot more hits just based on the feedback.

You rate other people’s pics and they rate yours.

Dumb question I know, but have you ever considered meeting people in real life?

well 35k seem a bit too tight. It is all i am saying. I didn't know you were from the UK.

 

i was thinking 100miles total as a radius. It sounds reasonable to me. I mean do you plan on seeing someone EVERYDAY? that to me sounds far fetched.

Well no, but if it was to develop further I’m unsure how it would work in regards to getting somewhere together (no one wants to do 200 miles round trip to work - England is only 180 miles wide lol!).

I’ll see how 50km feels, it’s less than a 3rd of the 160km proposed but seems more reasonable.

Post your pics on photofeeler. You can get feedback by picking your target audience (chicks the age you want to date).

 

I changed my primary pic and cropped it and got a lot more hits just based on the feedback.

 

You rate other people’s pics and they rate yours.

I posted a photo on there around 3/4 weeks ago and got no responses either, so not sure if it’s a reliable source to proof photos.

Dumb question I know, but have you ever considered meeting people in real life?

Haha! If only it were that simple, I’ve tried the clubbing thing with friends but everyone I talk to is aged between 18-21 which isn’t what I’m looking for.

I don't know 100% how these site work but essentially to get a 'match' you both have to swipe 'yes' right?

Ever considered maybe you're fishing outside of your pond?

Test things? Swipe right on everyone, I know it seems insincere but just see how many matches you get, if you get hits you have your answer.

Dating is brutal, we gotta be completely honest with and about ourselves. Like someone else said attracting someone online isn't all that different than in person, if you know you wouldn't have a chance in person, you probably won't online.

Haha! If only it were that simple, I’ve tried the clubbing thing with friends but everyone I talk to is aged between 18-21 which isn’t what I’m looking for.

clubs are where you go to meet people under 25. over 25 you meet them in different places. Professional networking events, volunteer opportunities.

It is not, nor is my height (5’6”) which is my next stumbling block as no one wants to date short guys, my profile is exactly as written on the first page of this thread :)

you should list your height. better for 6' women to swipe left on you than to find out when you meet and deciding to not date someone who lied.