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Thread: No Matchs after 8 Weeks

  1. #1
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    No Matchs after 8 Weeks

    In a modern world that has embraced the digital age itís not so uncommon to know one or many people that have turned to the online dating world to find a partner, eight weeks ago after a year single and struggling to find a connection in my day-2-day life I decided to join them.

    Iíve now had an active account on two of the more well know free dating apps (Tinder / Bumble) for just under 8 weeks, at first I was intrigued to see if they hype and success that so many seem to tout on the internet and YouTube was true.

    Well I sit here, almost 8 weeks into this and Iíve not made a single match, not one. Is this the reality of these types of dating apps or have I missed something and for some reason donít seem to make a match?

    So I guess my question is, are dating apps mainly myth or is there some substance to actually using them and why would I after such a long time still not made one match? (If itís the latter how would I improve this)?

  2. #2
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    I haven't have the slightest clue but I heard it really has everything to do with your profile. Not sure though

  3. #3
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    I think it depends on what you say in your profile, what your photos look like, and where you live. Talk with a trusted friend and show them your photos. Review you photos - are they recent? Flattering? Relevant? (That is, photos of you, not photos of your car, nephews, or a sunset.) if I couldnít clearly see the face of the guy, I would not swipe right. Or if he only posted group photos and I didnít know who the person was.

    As as for the profile, something short and positive is better than saying youíre bitter and angry about the dating scene.

  4. #4
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    I found my guy before Tinder became hot or at least I became aware of it. I never saw my guy's profile, but he found me? Why? I needed to increase my age range by one year in order to find him (which is no big deal). I would also be clear about what you are looking for. To me, Tinder is more of a hookup app or one that unless you are under 22, you really don't take seriously.

    I think that if you want to find a match on Tinder, you can't just wait. You have to swipe on women as well. Also, what about trying a more traditional dating site as well, where people fill out a more thoughtful profile and have more room on it? Also join Meetup. I wouldn't put all my eggs in one basket.

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  6. #5
    Silver Member smackie9's Avatar
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    If you have unique interests, and are particular about whom you date, I suggest joining a club or group that is of the same interests.

    Note: Online dating sites are not a magic bullet. In a lot of cases, if you struggle to get dates irl, you are going to have the same with online. Remember you are selling yourself....you just can't focus on what YOU want. You have to think about what is going to attract potential dates.

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    You didn't say whether you're a boy or a girl. I will say that on Tinder, it's mostly up to the guys to pick girls. On Bumble, it's up to the girls. But girls are very selective and the advice given above is something to consider. Is your profile good? Is your photo good?

    Another thing to consider is where do you live? If you're in a big city, people are more likely to pick you on impulse. If you're out in the country, there may be no one in the area.

    Also think about who you are looking for. As abitbroken said, increasing the age range by one year led to success. On the other hand, you don't want to be looking for someone 18-99, that's too wide a range.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by 1tym
    I haven't have the slightest clue but I heard it really has everything to do with your profile. Not sure though
    Well my profile is pretty short and mainly just contains a simplistic list of info rather than large clunky paragraphs.

    Originally Posted by annie24
    I think it depends on what you say in your profile, what your photos look like, and where you live. Talk with a trusted friend and show them your photos. Review you photos - are they recent? Flattering? Relevant? (That is, photos of you, not photos of your car, nephews, or a sunset.) if I couldnít clearly see the face of the guy, I would not swipe right. Or if he only posted group photos and I didnít know who the person was.

    As as for the profile, something short and positive is better than saying youíre bitter and angry about the dating scene.
    Iíve included 4 photos within my profile, two are directly of my face, front on and centre (clear, not mirror selfies), the third is a side on photo and the final one is a ďsillyĒ one of my brother and I wearing funny hats at a festival.

    Iíd rather not really ask a friend, itís embarrassing enough getting 0 matches without broadcasting it to others :(

    My profile is a straight-to-the-point list of attributes, interests and likes (Non-Smoker, Social Drinker, Gigs and Live Music etc etc):

    // Rock-Alt-Indie // Photography // Traveling // Movies // Festivals, Gigs & Live Music // Dogs not Cats // Mediterranean Cuisine // No interest in Football // Non-Smoker // Social Drinker //
    Pretty much the above.

    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    I found my guy before Tinder became hot or at least I became aware of it. I never saw my guy's profile, but he found me? Why? I needed to increase my age range by one year in order to find him (which is no big deal). I would also be clear about what you are looking for. To me, Tinder is more of a hookup app or one that unless you are under 22, you really don't take seriously.

    I think that if you want to find a match on Tinder, you can't just wait. You have to swipe on women as well. Also, what about trying a more traditional dating site as well, where people fill out a more thoughtful profile and have more room on it? Also join Meetup. I wouldn't put all my eggs in one basket.
    My age range is set from 24-32 with a distance of 35km, maybe Iím expecting to match with someone on my doorstep and need to increase my potential distance?

    Iím a little unsure what you mean by I need to swipe on women as well? As far as I was aware we both need to swipe right to match, so Iíve done ďmy bitĒ in going through the potential matches in my area and swiped right on people I would be interested in.

    More traditional in what sense? I donít want to go down the pay route to also get no matches (which is highly likely)?

    Originally Posted by smackie9
    If you have unique interests, and are particular about whom you date, I suggest joining a club or group that is of the same interests.

    Note: Online dating sites are not a magic bullet. In a lot of cases, if you struggle to get dates irl, you are going to have the same with online. Remember you are selling yourself....you just can't focus on what YOU want. You have to think about what is going to attract potential dates.
    I wouldnít say Iím overly particular, sure I donít right swipe every profile that crosses my screen but Iím by no means only swiping ď10ísĒ that would most likely not swipe me back.

    I donít really do any sport or have a huge range of hobbies so finding a connection through that might pose difficult.

    Well tbh Iím not really sure what attracts a date, from the things Iíve read and watched on YouTube it appears that the majority of females want to be done over by douche ďgraftersĒ or guys with ďBroĒ mentality with ďconfidenceĒ that I would perceive as nothing more than juvenile, crude and uneducated type behaviour, clearly Iím wrong and this is the way to go as all the females canít help but jump on board and dance to their tune.

    Originally Posted by DanZee
    You didn't say whether you're a boy or a girl. I will say that on Tinder, it's mostly up to the guys to pick girls. On Bumble, it's up to the girls. But girls are very selective and the advice given above is something to consider. Is your profile good? Is your photo good?

    Another thing to consider is where do you live? If you're in a big city, people are more likely to pick you on impulse. If you're out in the country, there may be no one in the area.

    Also think about who you are looking for. As abitbroken said, increasing the age range by one year led to success. On the other hand, you don't want to be looking for someone 18-99, that's too wide a range.
    Iím a guy, but I believed both apps would hit the medium and proved the opportunity form both end of the spectrum, both of my accounts are at a point where there are no more people available within my area, I have never used up my daily amount of right swipes on either app.

    I guess it would really depend what you interoperate as good, from my perspective it seems decent enough, but the opinions of another may differ enormously (opinions would even be split by just the small amount of replies within this thread).

    I live in a rural area, Iím around 20km from the nearest city so have sent my distance range to 35km in an effort to increase my chances (although this doesnít seem to have worked).

    I have my age range set to 24-32, Iím 32 myself next month so really wouldnít want to drop down under 24, my other problem is Iím a young looking 32 so extending much beyond that and itís going to look like someone in their mid 30ís thatís dating someone ten years younger (I would doubt many women want to be the older looking in a relationship, but it could be wrong).

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    Iíve included 4 photos within my profile, two are directly of my face, front on and centre (clear, not mirror selfies), the third is a side on photo and the final one is a ďsillyĒ one of my brother and I wearing funny hats at a festival.


    Ditch the side view -- this is not a police line up. You need a good photo where your face is seen --- but doesn't have to be extreme closeup. Are you smiling genuinely? And a full body shot. The silly hat shot? could someone think you were drunk? do you look enough alike where they wouldn't know which one is you? What about a picture of you traveling? Or once a picture stood out to me of a guy playing a guitar outside and you could see his motorcycle in the background. i didn't date him but it told me what the guy was about. He looked like a fun camp counselor.

    I think you should increase your age range. Go 25-34. It seems guys only want to date women who are younger when someone who is a year older than you might be the best match and you could be missing out on her. In your 30s, a year or two makes no difference. What if she has a cat but is a match otherwise? she won't find you

    Do you want kids? Someone who says their interests are music festivals and nightlife might not attract a woman who is studying for her masters or wants kids. If you like travel and photography -- what about a picture of you in front of the Eiffel tower or a museum or something. The problem with your interests is a lot of people like travel and music festivals - but what are the interests that make you stand out? You say you like Indie rock. Do you play an instrument or collect records? Or can you not carry a tune and are tone deaf? You say you like to travel -- do you like it because you are a history nerd? Or are you the type of guy who works for a few months and then travels for a few months and doesn't have much direction?

    In otherwords, show some personality - but what are you looking for in a relationship? are you looking to 'date to eventually find a long term relationship or marriage" "casual dates" or what

  10. #9
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    The thing about living in a small population area is that the apps you are trying simply may not be what's "in" in that location. That is something I've noticed. You have to find what everyone is using in that area and jump on that bandwagon. The other apps will be dead.

    Also, your pics simply might not be the best even if they are clear and aren't blurry bathroom selfies. At least ask your friends just purely about the pics - female friends. Just give them a dozen pics and let them pick out the best ones they like. It's possible they'll pick totally different pics from what you would, but trust them. Remember you are trying to attract females.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken

    Iíve included 4 photos within my profile, two are directly of my face, front on and centre (clear, not mirror selfies), the third is a side on photo and the final one is a ďsillyĒ one of my brother and I wearing funny hats at a festival.


    Ditch the side view -- this is not a police line up. You need a good photo where your face is seen --- but doesn't have to be extreme closeup. Are you smiling genuinely? And a full body shot. The silly hat shot? could someone think you were drunk? do you look enough alike where they wouldn't know which one is you? What about a picture of you traveling? Or once a picture stood out to me of a guy playing a guitar outside and you could see his motorcycle in the background. i didn't date him but it told me what the guy was about. He looked like a fun camp counselor.

    I think you should increase your age range. Go 25-34. It seems guys only want to date women who are younger when someone who is a year older than you might be the best match and you could be missing out on her. In your 30s, a year or two makes no difference. What if she has a cat but is a match otherwise? she won't find you

    Do you want kids? Someone who says their interests are music festivals and nightlife might not attract a woman who is studying for her masters or wants kids. If you like travel and photography -- what about a picture of you in front of the Eiffel tower or a museum or something. The problem with your interests is a lot of people like travel and music festivals - but what are the interests that make you stand out? You say you like Indie rock. Do you play an instrument or collect records? Or can you not carry a tune and are tone deaf? You say you like to travel -- do you like it because you are a history nerd? Or are you the type of guy who works for a few months and then travels for a few months and doesn't have much direction?

    In otherwords, show some personality - but what are you looking for in a relationship? are you looking to 'date to eventually find a long term relationship or marriage" "casual dates" or what
    Haha, I like that one, it doesnít look like something from a police line up but Iíll take it out. None of them are extremely close up, my neck, shoulders top of chest are visible, pretty much a standard ďheadshotĒ type photo. Part smiling but not showing teeth. None of the photos would be a full body shot (why would this be important?).
    Yeah they could think we had maybe had a few drinks but we donít look by any means drunk. We are identical twins so yeah very much a like (my twin is a huge part of my life so Iíd rather this be known from the get-go, just like a single mum posts photos with their children).
    Pretty much all of my traveling pictures are with ex partners, I donít tend to travel places alone (I donít play guitar or own a motorcycle either lol!).

    The issue with looking beyond 32 is that I still live at my parents, itís hard enough explaining that to someone slightly younger and would be almost impossible to someone older.

    Iím allergic, so itís a flat no from the start with no compromise as there simply isnít one (no one is going to give up their pet to date someone, I know I wouldnít).

    Kids, possibly at some point but not right now, I feel Iím a fair way from that as I havenít achieved in other areas of my life which would take priority over that (I donít want to meet someone who is just looking to settle straight into a family situation).

    I think the problem with photography as a hobby is that you spend your time behind the lens taking the shots and very rarely in front of it, most of my photography is events and people based so not really something that I would look to upload into a dating app profile.

    To be honest I donít really know, most of my hobbies and social activities died off when friends started to settle and have families, they are now that busy with their family life that the social part is down to a couple of social events a year and most donít get the time to enjoy activities or hobbies.

    Unfortunately my ability to play an instrument, sing, well pretty much anything that falls into talent or arts is a no go.... in a talent focused world Iím unique in the fact that I have none.

    I hold down a steady job but enjoy getting time away to explore and indulge in other cultures (if your ideal holiday is two weeks in Benidorm then itís a no from me), Iíve seen Paris, Rome, Barcelona, Cologne, Athens to name but a few, Iíve been to Las Vegas and LA plus loads of other locations around the world (hopefully going to travel to parts of Asia next year).

    Most definitely dates that are leading somewhere, Iím not getting any younger, my early 20ís are behind me and Iím happy to start planning a real future with someone.

    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    The thing about living in a small population area is that the apps you are trying simply may not be what's "in" in that location. That is something I've noticed. You have to find what everyone is using in that area and jump on that bandwagon. The other apps will be dead.

    Also, your pics simply might not be the best even if they are clear and aren't blurry bathroom selfies. At least ask your friends just purely about the pics - female friends. Just give them a dozen pics and let them pick out the best ones they like. It's possible they'll pick totally different pics from what you would, but trust them. Remember you are trying to attract females.
    How would I find out what the ďin appĒ is for my area though? There seem to be a fair amount of women on Bumble / Tinder, Iíd guess Iíve been through upwards of 500 or so profiles so it seems fairly populated from my perspective, even if Iíve not been lucky enough in finding a match.

    Not really sure how to go about that, it still sounds like explaining my dire situation publicly to others in a cry for help. Not helped by the majority of female friends being colleagues at work... which would be the last place I want my social life interrogated.

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