Long Distance Relationship issue

Hello everybody! So currently I'm in a long distance relationship with a new partner. (we first started doing this around August or so of last year). At first, she would always go out of her way to send me those sweet lovey-dovey messages (Good Morning Babe, etc), but now lately she never seems to do so on her own like she used to. Me, of course, just always on the lookout for red flags, just want to make sure I know if she's no longer interested etc. When I asked her about it, she simply said that she just "feels different" but not in a way that she doesn't like me anymore. She said the reason she stopped is because she starting to "feel different" when on her end it seemed like she was the one always doing so and took it as if I wasn't as interested. (in a way, it almost feels like we switched roles). I guess my question is, is this something to even worry about? I mean, anytime I call she answers of course and we have a lovely conversation most of the time, and I try to see her at least once a month to just help keep the long distance thing going. I guess, I've had bad experience in recent relationships, of getting cheated on,etc, so while I can be a bit insecure about it, I just want to make sure I don't waste time either so maybe I'm overthinking it, I don't know. Any tips to keep the "spice" going in long distance relationships? I want to say, we're in the phase of just getting past the "honeymoon" phase.

Is there a light at the end of the tunnel with your long distance situation... as in, does one or the other of you plan to move closer or move towards a serious commitment at some point?

I just think its going to be hard to keep the spark alive living so far away. Words and text just don't do this.

Step up the validation---take the initiative on texting her/calling her first thing with the GM baby texts. Stop "phoning it in"--because that makes her feel as if you're not that arsed, so why should she, you know? It sets up a vicious cycle and your relationship goes down that drain.

Also, for this to work, you both are going to have to be really self disciplined in not allowing anyone to step in front of each other and you're going to have to make plans to see one another more often because relationships are conducted in close proximity, not with physical distance. What you actually have is an electronic pen pal arrangement as long as this distance isn't being overcome.

Who has a plan to move when when will this take place?

some people just act lovey-dovey at first to give you that sense of security. Once they feel the relationship is secure, they kind of stop doing it as much. Maybe you've just settled into the relationship a bit.

Thank you guys! I actually ended up talking to her about it. And she just revealed that she just needs some space from me in the relationship. Not taking it personally or anything and just continuing to stay grounded and take care of myself.

Thank you guys! I actually ended up talking to her about it. And she just revealed that she just needs some space from me in the relationship. Not taking it personally or anything and just continuing to stay grounded and take care of myself.

What are the ground rules of this space she's taking? Is it no dating others? Is there a time frame she's talking about here?

So far the only "established" ground rules is limited to no communication. Just that we should take space day by day to see how it goes and if we end up "missing each other" kind of thing as we don't feel "that spark" like we used to in the beginning. I'm going to go to Kansas where she lives at for Mother's Day weekend and she suggested maybe we could see each other just to see how we feel when together but I'm not sure if I want to at this point. Do you think we should first establish ground rules in this space?

So far I don't think we established any ground rules. Just that we should take space day by day to see how it goes and if we end up "missing each other" kind of thing. Do you think we should first establish ground rules in this space?

Let me start out first by saying I don't believe in taking breaks--anything that is neglected dies. You stay together and you work out your differences because nothing is going to work them out if you're ignoring them. But this needs to be done when the notion of "taking a break" was first brought up.

Having said that, establishing ground rules will let you know exactly where her head is at. If she won't agree to not date/sleep with others (and you, too), then you have your answer about what she's attempting to do. And this "seeing how it goes" is way too open ended---there has to be a point where she's going to be ready to jump back in, if she's interested in doing that at all.

Since you two are in a LDR, you need to brace yourself for some guy who is turning her head right now and she wants to be free to go see what that is about, but have you benchwarming on the second string team in case that doesn't pan out. Is that what you're agreeing to here?

Oh man I thought my previous reply went through! Apparently not lol. In this case, we talked more about the ground rules, she and we agreed to not date/sleep with others and we have just been talking day by day at the moment as she directly told me she just feels confused but doesn't want to see others at the moment. Currently my biggest struggle is how to handle being in this "gray area" that we are currently in for now by just staying in touch day by day. I always attempt to talk about working out our relationship that we had, but she always ends it with "I just need time, I feel confused" thus halting any attempt to resolve issues we had. Should I even continue this route? I mean, I'm not afraid to move on and just cease communication and all, but I'm also willing to fight for it.

Sorry to hear this. It seems she doesn't want a LDR and is backing out with the "confused" excuse. Unfortunately, there's nothing to fight for. All you can do is back off and let her come to you so you can assess her interest.

I always attempt to talk about working out our relationship that we had, but she always ends it with "I just need time, I feel confused" thus halting any attempt to resolve issues we had.

Yeah I think you're right Wiseman2 (as usual! ) Thanks again!

Sorry to hear this. It seems she doesn't want a LDR and is backing out with the "confused" excuse. Unfortunately, there's nothing to fight for. All you can do is back off and let her come to you so you can assess her interest.

Welp! You're a genius yet again Wiseman2! She messaged me today with a "Hi" message along with a positive picture that said "Life has good and bad moments. Enjoy the good moments. Learn from the bad ones. Wake up and think that every morning something amazing is going to happen". Let's see how I assess this.

but she always ends it with "I just need time, I feel confused" .

Anytime anyone tells you that they're confused, it means there's someone else in the picture that they're trying to get with, but they haven't gotten the green light from them to proceed---so they want to keep you benchwarming in case things don't work out with the new guy, they can fall back on their second choice. That would be you in this scenario. If you were her first choice, she'd figure out how to see you more, not less.