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Thread: Faith Commitment Action

  1. #61
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Sounds like a lovely dinner!
    It was, thank you! He speaks a few languages and was able to converse comfortably in the restaurant's language. I love that (in part because I can follow the convo, not left out. And he isn't being pretentious or whatever. Just is a polyglot. It's like a little vaca.)

    My young adult is schooling her bf right now. I wish I could just go all neanderthal on him. Tell him to fall in line, or buzz off.

    She got harassed at work. The bf didn't mean to misstep, but he was giving the basic man treatment: "I'll kill him." "Does it happen to everyone?" She is like, "get off my back. I can handle it." And she can. Can I go beat him up? Sigh.

  2. #62
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    I am asserting my priorities simply by doing them, and its working! Bf will ask, Are we good, and you are simply focused on your to do list, or am I missing something? I say We good, and he says Ok with a happy tone. It is easy and upbeat. I thank him for asking, it is a way of taking responsibility for the RL. I make a note to show some affection or assurance, such as a note in the mail or a surprise in his fridge (i have keys but we very much do not live together in any way). My time is the most challenging part and somehow he rolls with that.

    I am grateful.

  3. #63
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    Bf off exploring the planet.

    Bff found slush on line & active. His gf (or so it seems???) is model-beautiful, wealthy from her exH, politically conservative, and liked him enough to include him in pics in the social press. Why she doesn't push his buttons I really don't know (or maybe its vice versa).

    Honestly, I think he looking externally but the answer lies within.

    Am I over him? Nah. I don't want him. He was so close, but the ways we don't fit are like fatal flaws in an otherwise perfect tableau. Forgetting the fatal flaws, I'd be all over that.

    And for perspective : my bf knows this, gets it, and isn't bothered. He trusts me and understands my emotional landscape. How unusual is that?!

  4. #64
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    Originally Posted by IAmFCA
    Bf off exploring the planet.

    Bff found slush on line & active. His gf (or so it seems???) is model-beautiful, wealthy from her exH, politically conservative, and liked him enough to include him in pics in the social press. Why she doesn't push his buttons I really don't know (or maybe its vice versa).

    Honestly, I think he looking externally but the answer lies within.

    Am I over him? Nah. I don't want him. He was so close, but the ways we don't fit are like fatal flaws in an otherwise perfect tableau. Forgetting the fatal flaws, I'd be all over that.

    And for perspective : my bf knows this, gets it, and isn't bothered. He trusts me and understands my emotional landscape. How unusual is that?!
    I was active on an online dating site when I was ultra serious with my boyfriend. Because I wasn't aware that my profile was still accessible and visible. I thought I'd taken care of it. Also I logged on for friends who asked me to, with my boyfriend's knowledge. I still thought my profile was invisible. But it wasn't. Once I found out, I made sure it was gone. That can certainly be the case here and I wouldn't read into it in the least.

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  6. #65
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    I was active on an online dating site when I was ultra serious with my boyfriend. Because I wasn't aware that my profile was still accessible and visible. I thought I'd taken care of it. Also I logged on for friends who asked me to, with my boyfriend's knowledge. I still thought my profile was invisible. But it wasn't. Once I found out, I made sure it was gone. That can certainly be the case here and I wouldn't read into it in the least.
    He checked out my friend's profile.

    He could just be bored. He could be looking for something to pass the time while she (gf) is unavailable. Whatever it is, it isn't that he is unaware.

    But doesn't matter in any case.

  7. #66
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    Originally Posted by IAmFCA
    He checked out my friend's profile.

    He could just be bored. He could be looking for something to pass the time while she (gf) is unavailable. Whatever it is, it isn't that he is unaware.

    But doesn't matter in any case.
    So what -I wouldn't speculate and it could have been his GF snooping or someone else clicking around. And perhaps they're both fine with it. I just mean don't go there from second hand information that he clicked on your friend's profile.

  8. #67
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    I absolutely love that bf is away. I am getting so much done, and he would help me if he were here. I much prefer that he is following his muse instead of getting sucked into my to do list.

    Meanwhile, home is madness. Its as if we are moving in and moving out at the same time. Make it stop! Ha. Glad for the changes, when its all done.

  9. #68
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    Bf has been away for a week.

    I like his traveling style. In the moment. Never a vibe of wanting sexual validation or companionship from anyone, and never a vibe of loneliness either. He is chatting people up, finding out what to eat and where (and how) to eat it. Sending me waypoint messages and literally making up his agenda as he goes.

    I am starting to look forward to meeting him on return. Also, Without his presence i have worked myself to exhaustion. I am sort of glad for that.

  10. #69
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    Interesting coincidences btw

    BF happenstance meet up occurred the day after the anniversary of my marriage and divorce. BF return from unusually long journey occurs the day before the first anniversary of my parent's death. I don't know that I think anything of it. Its as if my beginnings and endings have a season, a pattern. Making note of it.

  11. #70
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    It will have been a year next weekend, and indeed a year was needed. We've only just emptied the house, I am beginning to poke me head out for broader recognition. It really truly did take a year.

    The weird thing about my birth order... my friends don't get it. I don't need them to; its okay; that's not what I mean. There is a logic to having kids in your 20s. When the parents die, the kids may be retired. Their own kids our of the house. In a lifestage that allows for some changes. For folks who lose them sooner, or who are lucky like me and have at least one for a long time but were born late in their lives ... my work is on fire, my kids are a full time job, all my resources are extended, and what I really beed is a one year sabbatical.

    The timing is just off.

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