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Thread: Faith Commitment Action

  1. #491
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    Originally Posted by IAmFCA
    Thank you Blue Virgo. Something to miss is something to appreciate, no?
    Oh yes. I'm a Leo/Virgo cusp technically. Actually?? Pure Leo.

  2. #492
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by IAmFCA
    Thank you Blue Virgo. Something to miss is something to appreciate, no?
    I believe missing and appreciating are siblings, even synonyms. Said the Libra.

  3. #493
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    Checking in just to say

    1. Missing the depressed ex who is still depressed, and wow that is just awful to see what our brains can do to ourselves.

    2. Went on a promising date. It seemed to appeal to my adult self while allowing for my inner child to have a voice.

    That sounds like a lot of hooey. I might say, we had about 4 hours of conversation, mostly while walking, and covered topics like parenting and divorce, and there seemed to be a fair amount of overlap in approach and values. Not bad to look at either.

    Shared interests in going beyond the familiar, in music, in sailing; well traveled; public speaking and leadership roles at work. In no rush to create a semi live in situation; we each have households with boundaries to protect. Winner!

    Date 2 is next week.

  4. #494
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    Glad you had fun on your date! I'm sorry about your ex suffering from depression -I'm sure you've offered resources/support places he can turn to. Now he has to be willing, horse to water and all that.

    Good luck with date number 2!

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  6. #495
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Thanks for the update. Was wondering how you're doing out there—quite well, it seems.

    And, yes, the human brain can be a real prison. Hopefully he finds the keys.

  7. #496
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    Thank you both

    I suspect my ex found himself behaving in some way that felt like cheating; not dating someone else, just escaping in a womans company, being too familiar. I have a sense of when and with whom and if I am right, it was eating away at him, corroding him. He had thought he no longer needed that sort of behavior in his life and would have been devastated to find he could not rely on himself. I didn't tell him what i think happened, but sent him a note of forgiveness. He said he was touched by it.

  8. #497
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Were I to indulge my instinct of psychic provocation, feeling I have a willing audience, I would ask: Were you forgiving him, or forgiving yourself for investing in an idea of him that was more aspirational than actualized?

    He is a deep thinker, with some tortured corners, an adventure-bound man, a lone wolf. He is also, perhaps, someone who requires a lot of attention and affection, who can't be truly alone in himself for long, who finds comfort in the cursory where you find comfort in the deeps, because he can only go so deep on those realms since he has yet to come to terms with the gap between who he is and who he wishes to be—a gap that can't be bridged by the forgiveness of another.

    I see in you, if I may, and of course I'm reaching at scraps here, a woman who has come to terms with the complexity of her humanity, and humanity at large, in a way that is far, far from what he sees when he turns the same prism. That is a a beautiful quality, but it will intimidate someone whose prism has less colors, or who is frightened of some of those colors. It takes a particular sense of security to he comfortable next to someone who can see around more corners than you.

    Fancy talk for: Hope date two, with new guy, is a blast.

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