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Thread: Faith Commitment Action

  1. #21
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Sounds like a good choice you made back then to stop interacting with him.
    Yep. But he remained compelling. Glad I stayed with it in my mind so I could sort my reasons and grow some more.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    Was in physical pain. Bf handled me like a trained professional. And then made me feel sexy. Which is just ridiculous. I can hardly move. I learned of two past intellectual interests. I asked "Why didn't you pursue x career?" Not knowing it had been his intent to do just that. The second interest is a body of knowledge he studied in secret. It relates directly to my family's interests, but he didn't know. He is currently studying an obscure modern language. Also is studying how to understand my kids and join up with them (slowly).

    He swears he learns from me etc. Heaven knows what.

    Lottery.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    Way to go, Ireland! Well done.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    After a week or two of silence, Slush tested the waters again this afternoon with a text. I did not reply. I felt curious, at most.

    Later, after a night of practical things, bf and I settled in for a show. We rarely watch. The scene was so familiar. My mind kept finding memories. He asked where I was; then he took me to his room and directed us through an extensive romp.

    This was a good lesson. When our SO wanders, do something about it. Focus on the win, not the whine.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    Not sure I will reply to Slush. I do not see the point. If he asked for something more meaningful, then maybe I would offer an explanation. As it is, he sent a trial balloon and my job is to let the balloon pass me by. I feel sad for Slush, a bit. I feel I was a source of security and a friend to him. I don't know what will come of my silence.

    I struggle with the sensation of him versus the experience of him. I can feel the incredible sense of relief I felt when comfortably with him. Slush's ability to offer that was enhanced by his distance. His aloof nature. He let me in so close, but didn't protect me, so, so what. Still, I love that stillness, and will think about a way to put it into the habits bf and I are creating together.

    I assume Slush is going through a break up or distancing of sorts. His daughter told mine some weeks ago that he has a gf, so it must have been compelling to him, for it to last this long and for him to share that information with her. Maybe he is finding his way. Sigh. We could make such great partners... if our skills and needs were better matched. (Hardly ever true for me but, ha, sounds like, well isn't that true for everyone?)

    Haven't slept, so prattling on about a man I don't even want to think about. Silly.

  7. #26
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    So now you know that he doesn’t do the “have to get to know someone for 2 years” before getting involved.(not verbatim but you posted a number of times about his preconditions to committing to someone) Maybe he meant it when he said it but obviously he hasn’t adhered to his requirements and conditions with this new woman. I’m glad you haven’t contacted him FWIW.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    So now you know that he doesn’t do the “have to get to know someone for 2 years” before getting involved.(not verbatim but you posted a number of times about his preconditions to committing to someone) Maybe he meant it when he said it but obviously he hasn’t adhered to his requirements and conditions with this new woman. I’m glad you haven’t contacted him FWIW.
    Interesting - hadn't thought of that expressly. Anyway, no I don't know anything vis a vis the 2 year process. I don't know who she is/was nor if/why they broke up. For all we know, he wasn't ready to give the assurances she desired.

    I am glad I am not replying. I feel like I understand him and wish I could make use of that appreciation in some way. You don't have an interest in someone for three years for no good reason.

    Usually, that sensation finds a resolution along the way. Not this time, not that I can foresee. Right now, I need to protect my space and Slush is a threat. It is important that I maintain the boundary.

  9. #28
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    Entering a new phase of homelife such that I no longer get any weekends home alone. This summer, I can envision two weekends that include at least one night when bf and I can wake up together. Two, until September.

    A new challenge.

  10. #29
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    Bf joined me for a wedding full of many friends and none of my own family. My friends fell in love with bf. He danced with my bff. Talked with people enough that I wandered in other directions for other friends. Held my hand. Eye contact - he gives intense eyes that I find so sexy.

    And here's a funny line .. "we're not married yet" he said casually. Haha I

  11. #30
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    Sold dad's car. It's weird how his presence left the car and stayed with me. It's weird how it's just a car to someone else.

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