The harsh part has been the "transition" to forget my ex

After breaking up and I realizing it's completely over, since we don't talk anymore and she made it clear there's nothing to talk about our relationship, I've been suffering a lot for almost two weeks. What makes me feel better for one day or another is when I believe I can meet another woman to try again and begin a new relationship, but all the suffering comes back and in double when I'm rejected by other girls I approach. It becomes worse when I suspect that my ex is already dating another guy. Like she is already happy and found another person and I'm still sad because she broke up with me and it's been difficult for me to date other women because of being rejected. It's not just sad, it's when I feel more hate towards my ex and myself. I ask myself how long my loneliness is going to take. It's painful, since one of the most effective ways to forget the past is move on and find a new love. It's been a nightmare, I don't know what to do.

Hey REststains, I'm sorry you are going through this.

But you will have this emotional rollercoasters until you learn how to be happy alone and in love with yourself.

When you stop looking for a new relationship, and comfort in another human being.

When you sit alone in your bedroom at night and feel completely comfortable and happy with yourself.

When you find focus in your life (e.g., career, school, sport...).

 

You are not alone in this. Stay strong! It will get better.

Findin someone new may seem effective, but it isn't. You are getting rejected because people can smell your low confidence and maybe neediness. I'm just assuming of course, don't take it personal, it's just that most of us feel like that after a break up. Feelings of unworthiness and so on. This happens only to the dumpee, not the dumper, that is your ex is more likely to find someone new faster, because she's been thinking about breaking up earlier then the actual break up. She prepared herself even unconsciously.

 

You need to be alone right now and handle all that grief. You need to stay away from even casual sex, it confuses you. You might end up using someone or you will end up finding a great person but realise down the road that you need to work on yourself and then lose her too.

 

It's hard, but doable. Like Doosha said, you need to learn to love yourself through this loneliness. To actually be alone and not feel lonely. It will happen, I promise. One day at a time!FOcus on your hobbies, work, friends and how to make YOU happy.

 

Hang in there!!

I don't know why you broke up or how long the relationship was, but 2 weeks is a drop in the bucket. I'm sorry I don't think you should be trying to meet other people yet. What you are feeling right now is very normal, but you will get over this. It is going to take way more time than 2 weeks.

 

Start working on yourself. Eat right, exercise, take vitamins. Dive into work or school or both. Take up a new hobby or sport. Most of all get around people that love you, family and friends. This person made you feel lovable and now that is gone, it's a big change.

 

You are grieving and need to relax and cut your self a break. Also, a lot of these thoughts you have in your head are just that, in your head. (Do you know for a fact that your ex has moved on and in relationship heaven? Probably not.) Don’t’ trust your depressive thoughts and the demons of doubt that are in your head right now. You are depressed and when we are depressed we can convince ourselves of anything. So STOP the downward spiral thought process.

 

Lastly, don't compare yourself to anyone else. This just feeds your depression as we are all our own worst critics., especially while depressed and going through a breakup. We have the tendency to find problems with ourselves, things that other people just don’t see because our brains are working overtime to make us feel worse. The key is to realize that you are being silly in letting yourself entertain this line of thinking!!! We amazingly can convince ourselves of just about anything while feeling down.

 

We are all here for you.

 

Mitch

Deep breaths, buddy.

 

Listen to what people are saying here. We are all, in varying degrees, in the same boat as you. Choppy waters, these, but we've got this. We're all getting stronger in ways we may not even yet understand.

 

Think of the pain you feel like a wound. Keep a wound covered and it doesn't heal properly; expose it and it does. You need to feel what you feel, not numb in into submission with a "new love." A new love is impossible until this is felt. So just be lonely. In time it'll lead to you being cool with being alone. When you create that space you create room for new, and real, love.

 

You're not in a competition with your ex—she's on her journey now. It sucks, I know. But the best way to accept that is to embark on your own. Just swim with the sharks for a bit. You'll get stronger, and the sharks will look like minnows, and all that strength is going to be super attractive to someone soon enough.

Deep breaths, buddy.

 

Listen to what people are saying here. We are all, in varying degrees, in the same boat as you. Choppy waters, these, but we've got this. We're all getting stronger in ways we may not even yet understand.

 

Think of the pain you feel like a wound. Keep a wound covered and it doesn't heal properly; expose it and it does. You need to feel what you feel, not numb in into submission with a "new love." A new love is impossible until this is felt. So just be lonely. In time it'll lead to you being cool with being alone. When you create that space you create room for new, and real, love.

 

You're not in a competition with your ex—she's on her journey now. It sucks, I know. But the best way to accept that is to embark on your own. Just swim with the sharks for a bit. You'll get stronger, and the sharks will look like minnows, and all that strength is going to be super attractive to someone soon enough.

So true.... your journey. not anyone else's. feel how u feel. stay away from her. its hard.... but it'll be ok

 

I'm feeling a lot better than i did. I almost started that sentence with how long it's been but thought better of it.... I'm not counting the time anymore!

 

it gets better.... but its a roller coaster. focus on yourself. i met a guy like 2 days post bu.... wish i met him in future.... it doesn't work when you push it.

 

if you don't deal with it, it will come out at the LEAST INOPPORTUNE TIME!

 

Save your future, fix yourself first. by fix i mean heal

 

keep posting. take break.... you do you