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My girlfriend has never been with anyone but me


jakeatl

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(I'm sorry this is a little long, but I really feel a bit down about this, and was wondering if someone can give me some closure once I've given the details)

 

I'm a 20 year old student who's been in two relationships before I began my University course. I've now met a girl through Uni and we've been together for a few months - It's going so well. She's the perfect definition of what I've always wanted in a girl (being looks, personality etc).

 

Long story short, she feels exactly the same as I do, it's completely 100% mutual. She's never been with anyone before, she's a little shy and introverted and before we started talking/dating she noticed me and found me attractive. For the first time in her life she has never once wanted to go up to a guy and talk to them and had been planning for a while to do so with me, until I initiated the talking.

 

Me and her are both very suited, physically and mentally - We look good together. We both have very similar interests and it feels unreal how brilliant everything is going and how everything has turned out.

 

Now after saying that - I'm not an idiot, I'm aware through time people change, and this could only be the honeymoon period blah blah blah - but because I've had past relationships, I can compare them to this one, none of which come close to how brilliant this one is with this girl in terms of the connection we have.

 

So, she's never been with anyone. We've talked about it and she said she's given it thought before, the fact I'm her first and that she hasn't had time to experiment. But then she said she wouldn't give me away because I'm perfect and it's not worth losing me over experimenting with other people before realising what she truly wants. That still, for some odd reason, doesn't help my worry about the future.

 

Let's say in 2 years we're still together, I still feel the same as I do now, but she's grown fond of the idea of experimenting a little bit, but still (for example) wants me as her boyfriend. I've seen posts where one person wanted to experiment after being with only one person and no one else but doesn't want to lose their partner, whereas the other person in the relationship doesn't want anyone else but them and it's a little one sided. That's my fear with this.

 

I'm wondering if anyone has anything they can say about this that can help - I don't know. Anything.

 

Thank you

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I don't think you really need to worry. Cross that bridge if you get there. I know lots of people who married their "first." Or so they tell me, who knows. I think it really depends on the person - she might be ready to settle down in 2 years or she might not be. What about you? Do you think you will be ready to settle down or will you want to see who else is out there in 2 years?

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This doesn't matter. If you two are perfect with each other and have it for the long haul, she won't care about "what else is out there". There have been plenty of people who are perfectly happy with their choice to accept their first as their life partner. Relationships are a crapshoot. There are no guarantees. Even if she had a few under her belt, still doesn't increase your odds she will be with you in two years time. What counts is compatibility.....and if you both can keep the relationship "fresh" over time, that will determine if it will be able to withstand for the long haul.

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Why are you thinking about such negative things? Are you trying to doom the relationship? Stop thinking about breaking up and stop talking about breaking up. Talk about love and your life together. If you go "all in" on her you won't need to worry about any of these. Don't drive her away. People can get closer with time, not further away. So stop thinking, just go for it.

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My mom used to tell me not to borrow trouble. You can drive yourself nuts worrying about what MIGHT happen. I mean, what if you walk out your front door and a piano drops on your head??

 

I sure hope you haven't said anything to her about your irrational fears.

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My mom used to tell me not to borrow trouble. You can drive yourself nuts worrying about what MIGHT happen. I mean, what if you walk out your front door and a piano drops on your head??

 

I sure hope you haven't said anything to her about your irrational fears.

 

Thank you for that. I have only talked to her about this in general terms, I'm starting this relationship with a fresh start and being very careful about what I show in terms of irrational fears etc.

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Why are you thinking about such negative things?

 

That's just how my brain works, unfortunately. I am trying my best not to, and completely understand that I shouldn't be thinking about this just yet, if ever. Thank you for your input though.

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I don't think you really need to worry. Cross that bridge if you get there. I know lots of people who married their "first." Or so they tell me, who knows. I think it really depends on the person - she might be ready to settle down in 2 years or she might not be. What about you? Do you think you will be ready to settle down or will you want to see who else is out there in 2 years?

 

That is my case. Married my first and only girlfriend!

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Is she a virgin? Is that the problem here?

 

Well, not anymore... I'm her first for everything, that's the 'worry' I guess. What if she'd like to try other things even though what we would potentially have is great? I'm trying not to think about it though.

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Yes, the time to think about what's happening two years down the line is, er, two years down the line. Just enjoy your time together; you're still getting to know each other and exploring the world together. Have fun!

 

You're very right about that, thank you.

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Unless she specifically starts implying this, don't project the grass is greener thing.

I'm her first for everything, that's the 'worry' I guess. What if she'd like to try other things even though what we would potentially have is great?
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