Do we have plans or not?

I need opinions on whether or not this constitutes a plan and/or how I should proceed.

I'm coming off a recent breakup, but I've been feeling really good lately. I made my profile visible on a dating site and I've been on several lackluster "one and done"s. No biggie, that's to be expected.

I did have a really good date on Friday. The guy and I exchanged several emails and texts over the course of about a week and he asked me out for Friday night. We met for dinner and had GREAT conversation and chemistry. Lots of laughing and flirty exchanges and food and drink sampling.

We closed the restaurant down and he asked if I wanted to go get a drink so we could keep the date going. I said sure and we went to a local bar until about 1:30 when we wrapped it up. The conversation at the bar was just as easy as it was at the restaurant. He asked me if I was tired and I said I was. But we both said several times how much fun we were having, how we hoped we would do it again, etc.

He walked me out to my car and we hugged (no kiss, which I actually both appreciated and was bummed about, lol). He asked me if I wanted to go out again and I said yes.

Saturday afternoon I had another one and done. UGH. Later on in the afternoon I texted Friday night guy a thank you.

Me: Happy Saturday! Thanks for last night-I had a great time. We should have a great time again soon!

Him: Thanks for the company. I had a great time. I would like to do it again. How soon and what would you like to do?

Me: I know through the week is hard with our schedules. How is your week looking? There's a car show next weekend (THIS IS SOMETHING HE MENTIONED LIKING TO DO. I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ONE) but I have no idea if it's a good or bad one. We can always figure out something fun.

Him: What's the name of it, a car show sounds fun.

ME: Texted him the name.

That was Saturday. Haven't heard a peep from him since. It is what it is. I had a good time and if I don't hear back from him, I'm not gonna be like chicken little and think the sky is falling. But it is so odd. Should I assume we have tentative plans? Should I reach out at some point this week if I don't hear from him? Does it seem like he's just blowing me off?

Have you tried giving him a call? Sometimes when I sent texts to some people, depending on their phone service, they don't get the text. I don't know why that is the case but it has happened to me before.

No. Do not contact him again. You asked him to do something and you had the last word of giving him the name of the place. The ball is in his court now.

I've had bizarre things like this happen also when I did OLD. It seemed like we had a great connection and even once the guy asked me out the next day, but something happened on his end and we couldn't, so he rescheduled and then ghosted.

Never put in more effort at the beginning. You can only gauge his interest by seeing if he's putting in the effort without prodding from you. You might never know what happened, but that's what is so frustrating and upsetting about OLD. If you don't hear from him by Wednesday, I'd make other plans for the weekend. When a guy is into you, he will make it crystal clear and won't leave you hanging.

No. Do not contact him again. You asked him to do something and you had the last word of giving him the name of the place. The ball is in his court now.

 

I've had bizarre things like this happen also when I did OLD. It seemed like we had a great connection and even once the guy asked me out the next day, but something happened on his end and we couldn't, so he rescheduled and then ghosted.

 

Never put in more effort at the beginning. You can only gauge his interest by seeing if he's putting in the effort without prodding from you. You might never know what happened, but that's what is so frustrating and upsetting about OLD. If you don't hear from him by Wednesday, I'd make other plans for the weekend. When a guy is into you, he will make it crystal clear and won't leave you hanging.

I agree and I've had the same thing happen with regular dating too. I agree with ball in his court since you asked him out for the first official date and if he's not enthusiastic and following up then move on.

No. Do not contact him again. You asked him to do something and you had the last word of giving him the name of the place. The ball is in his court now.

 

I've had bizarre things like this happen also when I did OLD. It seemed like we had a great connection and even once the guy asked me out the next day, but something happened on his end and we couldn't, so he rescheduled and then ghosted.

 

Never put in more effort at the beginning. You can only gauge his interest by seeing if he's putting in the effort without prodding from you. You might never know what happened, but that's what is so frustrating and upsetting about OLD. If you don't hear from him by Wednesday, I'd make other plans for the weekend. When a guy is into you, he will make it crystal clear and won't leave you hanging.

Agree completely with this.

For a first meeting date, keep it a lot shorter: meet at a place where you can have a drink, maybe share some appetizers, for an hour or two, nothing more. Keep it casual, not closing the place down, or moving it to another place. I find these intensely chemistry-riddled first meets to fizzle out faster than anything.

Definitely leave it with him... you were the one to initiate getting together and the one to suggest where you go, it’s up to him to confirm now.

I don’t assume I have plans with someone until we confirm the time, day and place.

I'm pretty adept at interpreting the tone of texts/emails, and from the tone of his (lackluster, meh) I don't get the sense he's all that interested.

Yours on the other hand were upbeat and enthusiastic!

Remain flexible but don't get your hopes up too high about this.

If he contacts you, great, but don't count on it and continue chatting with and meeting other guys.

Defintely do not contact him again, you've done enough.

I don't think you should assume you have tentative plans, no. He hasn't responded to your invitation at all.

He might be blowing you off; if he doesn't reply within a couple days, I'd assume he's not interested.

Agree with everyone else. Just wanted to add that I hate people like this. I would literally never do this to someone and there is no excuse for keeping someone hanging mid-conversation of planning something. It's a power move that's waiting for you to ask "so hey are we on for Saturday? love to see you xoxo" for his own ego.

This would be a complete dealbreaker for me. Good riddance.

Agree with everyone else. Just wanted to add that I hate people like this. I would literally never do this to someone and there is no excuse for keeping someone hanging mid-conversation of planning something. It's a power move that's waiting for you to ask "so hey are we on for Saturday? love to see you xoxo" for his own ego.

 

This would be a complete dealbreaker for me. Good riddance.

I don't think so -he never made a specific plan or even picked a day so I wouldn't ascribe negative motives to him.

It sounds like you asked him out, made the plans and decided the terms (weekend). So since you are doing the contacting and inviting, follow up with a plan. All he said was "sounds fun", agreeing with your plan. But since you asked him out you need to follow up.

Me: I know through the week is hard with our schedules. How is your week looking? There's a car show next weekend but I have no idea if it's a good or bad one. We can always figure out something fun.

Him: What's the name of it, a car show sounds fun.

It doesn't sound encouraging. However, you have nothing to lose by one more follow up text. If he's not interested, he'll still be uninterested. He may be having the same conversation with himself right now. He may be following some bad advice about waiting for you. Sometimes, especially through text, there can be some false reading and poor speculation. A quick text or phone call can clarify things. If he you do contact him and still don't have a set date/time, then your'e wasting time. But at least you'll know for sure. The reality is, only he knows for sure what he is thinking and feeling. Yes, it's not encouraging, but what's one more quick text cost?