Did I lose her respect?

Hello

So my girlfriend sent me a picture of this sunscreen she wants to buy but it’s to expense so I ask my sister in law to got to her room and see if she can find the exact bottle so I can buy it for her (I live in the USA and she lives I Ecuador). She finds out and ask me why I sent her sister to her room. I didn’t say anything because I did not want to argue then she told me why don’t you fight back I hate when you avoid conflict and let me win.

I do not like to fight. I personally thought this problem was not worth the fight and all the crap that comes with it.

Did I lose her respect. Should I fight back.

I was thinking about this and doing research the next day.

Thanks

You may have run into a cultural issue. She may be expecting you to be more macho. She may want a boyfriend who takes charge and tells her what to do. She may also be from a family of fighters where she saw her mom and dad fighting and she equates fighting with love. After all, if you don't care enough to have an argument, you don't care very much about the other person. Plus, with long-distance relationships, there's a lot of miscommunication. It's very difficult to maintain a relationship. Additionally, how often do you see her? You really can't hold onto a relationship where you don't see the other person much. I would tell you to avoid further trouble ahead and break up. Find someone local that you can actually go out on dates with.

I’m Ecuadorian too. I love this girl I saw her 3 months ago and I’m going to see her in two weeks.

In the states for school.

Yes her parents taught a lot also mine that’s why I hate conflict.

Bring her the gift she wants from the states when you visit. Avoid conflict by agreeing with trivial matters and picking your battles. Do not get sucked into arguments.

I’m going to see her in two weeks.

if you do not say anything to her and she is upset over what you have done she may feel like there are issues between you both that you cannot resolve because you refuse to talk or 'argue' about it. Perhaps sending someone else into her room was an invasion of privacy in her mind, she asked you to go not her sister.

She can put on her big girls blouse and buy her own sunscreen.

Rather than respect, it looks like she's losing trust for you. If a boyfriend secretly had my sibling go into my room for reasons unknown, then I would think he's spying on me. Unless you omitted any other information, I believe this is the case and would be more frustrating if you didn't even respond to why you had her do this. It looks really bad.

Not answering to highly suspicious behavior, instead of making it clear this was a misunderstanding, leads to a confrontation. This can be avoided by not avoiding talking to your own girlfriend. Tell her it was for a gift you wanted to give her. You didn't do anything wrong, except not communicate. However, you can still fix this: tell her the truth.

I don't think it's cultural so much as she simply finds you too passive for her tastes, lacking backbone, and it annoys her, obviously.

And clearly this incident wasn't the first time, as noted by her response.

I don't like conflict (drama) either, but damn when something troubles me, or when my boyfriend asks me a direct question, I'm gonna speak up!

It's not a "fight" it's called standing up for yourself and being honest and real!

That is how you foster TRUST.

Nothing worse than a man passively hiding his true feelings for fear of upsetting me or causing an argument. Ugh!!

I'd find it very difficult to trust him.