Update: The fifth date went well and I hope that I don’t get more problems

We played minigolf and then we ate at a Italian restaurant and after that her friend wanted to see me so we walked a bit around their neighbourhood. One thing that I’ve noticed everytime we go out and eat is that she doesn't always eat all of her food because she’s full or that she’s always drinking up the soda fast. It’s no big deal. Also I took some advice from you guys and said to her that I really like her and that I’m not seeing anyone else. I would say that her reaction was good. She was blushing because she is not used to get comments like that and also she is not good at giving compliments back if I remembered right lol.

We talked a little bit what we could do next time and it was then she suprised me telling me that her mother wanted to invite me over for dinner. I said sure why not? My parents also want to see you.

After the dinner we took the train to her neigbourhood and she got a text from her friend asking if she would hang out. (Her friend knows that she is with me) so we meetup and when we do I noticed that my girl wanted to cuddle with me alot hanging everywhere around me. The date ended with alot of kisses.

I’m thinking to invite her for dinner next week or so.

Og btw not an dating advice.. just telling you guys how it went :)

Good for you! You did great!!!! :)

I regret buying her the dinner tho... and last time I also paid for the cinema ticket. She always says that it doesn’t matter who pays and that I don’t have to I don’t want to. I feel like it’s s bad thing because maybe she is feeling that she owe me something

I regret buying her the dinner tho... and last time I also paid for the cinema ticket. She always says that it doesn’t matter who pays and that I don’t have to I don’t want to. I feel like it’s s bad thing because maybe she is feeling that she owe me something

Why do you regret buying her dinner?

Is it because she doesn't eat all her food, or because you feel she should start paying?

FWIW, many girls don't eat all their restaurant food, because the portions they serve are so large, that they just can't.

You need to stop overthinking!!! Just enjoy what yo had.

Let her pay next time.

Hey Kevin, I know you didn't ask for advice but if you don't mind --- stop overthinking!!!

Sounds like things are going **great** - so what's up with these regrets??

And of all the things to regret -- buying her dinner?? lol

Stop stop stop, okay?

If she wants to pay next time, let her, *don't* read into it; just relax and enjoy!!!

You need to stop overthinking!!! Just enjoy what yo had.

 

Let her pay next time.

OMG Holls, I just posted this same exact thing before reading yours!

Brilliant minds, lol

OMG Holls, I just posted this same exact thing before reading yours!

 

Brilliant minds, lol

I agree, Gurl!

Thanks! Yeah for real i need to stop...

Hey Kevin, I know you didn't ask for advice but if you don't mind --- stop overthinking!!!

 

Sounds like things are going **great** - so what's up with these regrets??

 

And of all the things to regret -- buying her dinner?? lol

 

Stop stop stop, okay?

 

If she wants to pay next time, let her, *don't* read into it; just relax and enjoy!!!

Thanks for you honesty. Yeah me overthinking stuff is just not normal to be... i'm not like that. But I think the reason is that I have come so far that I'm afraid to do something wrong and then she leaves me...

Why are you afraid she'll "leave" you?

Why are you not instead focusing on getting to know one another to find out if you are even good relationship material together?

Your fear will be obvious and it will show in how you interact with her.

What causes you to live in fear?

We played minigolf and then we ate at a Italian restaurant and after that her friend wanted to see me so we walked a bit around their neighbourhood. One thing that I’ve noticed everytime we go out and eat is that she doesn't always eat all of her food because she’s full or that she’s always drinking up the soda fast. It’s no big deal. Also I took some advice from you guys and said to her that I really like her and that I’m not seeing anyone else. I would say that her reaction was good. She was blushing because she is not used to get comments like that and also she is not good at giving compliments back if I remembered right lol.

 

We talked a little bit what we could do next time and it was then she suprised me telling me that her mother wanted to invite me over for dinner. I said sure why not? My parents also want to see you.

 

After the dinner we took the train to her neigbourhood and she got a text from her friend asking if she would hang out. (Her friend knows that she is with me) so we meetup and when we do I noticed that my girl wanted to cuddle with me alot hanging everywhere around me. The date ended with alot of kisses.

 

.

UPDATE: We won't have dinner at my place because my father and mother is on vacation in China and will be back in 3 weeks. So it will have to be after that. As for dinner at her place I'm not sure. She said that her mother asked her to ask me for dinner. Meaning that her mother didn't ask me directly but instead trough her daughter. And of course I said yes, but as she canceled on me visiting her a while ago... I think dinner at her place is most likely not gonna happened. Hopefully she feel more comfortable after dinner at my place and invites me over for her place next time.

I have to jobs so in this week I will be busy working day and night which is not good for my health... especially since I have told my boss at the second job that I cannot work two jobs in the same day but he doesn't understand and right now I'm just exhausted... I need to recover and I can't and as for my girl I can't see her for one week which is okay but I want to see her more often and so does she.

I have told her that I'm working a lot this week and she said it is fine and that I have to sit down with my boss and talk to him seriously about giving me work in days that doesn't fit me. We haven't talked about what we could do next time we meet, but I'm not stressing I just have to wait for this week to be over and make sure to recover

Why are you afraid she'll "leave" you?

 

Why are you not instead focusing on getting to know one another to find out if you are even good relationship material together?

 

Your fear will be obvious and it will show in how you interact with her.

 

 

What causes you to live in fear?

I'm afraid because this is my first relationship... So I'm more cautious this time.

You need to stop overthinking!!! Just enjoy what yo had.

 

Let her pay next time.

Thanks for your honesty. Yeah I will let her pay next time :)

Thanks for you honesty. Yeah me overthinking stuff is just not normal to be... i'm not like that. But I think the reason is that I have come so far that I'm afraid to do something wrong and then she leaves me...

Do you know what a self-fulfilling prophecy is?

In your case, it's when you are so focused on not doing anything "wrong" that (1) you're not *yourself* and (2) you don't allow the relationship to evolve naturally and organically.

The result? You actually cause to happen the very thing you are afraid of. That she will leave you!

You need to somehow move away from that thought process; otherwise you will continue to walk on eggshells hoping you don't do or say anything wrong, and she, in turn, will sense your insecurity and even disingenuousness, and become turned off because of "that." And leave you.

I'm afraid because this is my first relationship... So I'm more cautious this time.

How do you think relationships are "supposed" to be? Tiptoeing around hoping desperately you don't say or do anything the other person finds unattractive or offensive? Or getting comfortable being yourself around the other person?

Hint: It's not the first option.

Thanks for you honesty. Yeah me overthinking stuff is just not normal to be... i'm not like that. But I think the reason is that I have come so far that I'm afraid to do something wrong and then she leaves me...

If you don't stop this will become a self-fulfilling prophesy. It sounds like the two of you have started something very sweet and steady–don't self sabotage!!!

Okay so the most unexpected thing happend. After finishing my work I met my girl with her friend victoria (Victoria was the last girl she wanted to introduce me to and I met her last time) Victoria was with her boyfriend. So it was like I was with my girlfriend and Victoria was with her boyfriend. They were on the way home after being out in the city. Then on the way to Victoria’s home her boyfriend all of a sudden said that he plays soccer and could tackle me if he wants to.

Threating me when I did nothing was kind of weird behaviour of him lol. He seems nice after that but I did not like that for sure...

Oh Kevs, I don't think he was "threatening" you.

I think he was joking around with you; I grew up with five brothers, who were constantly challenging each other physically, would get into wrestling matches for no reason, saying things like "I could kick your ass"!! LOL

What this guy said was mild, and why in the world would he be threatening you?

The fact he was nice after that strongly suggests that he was joking with you, seeing what you were "made of" so to speak.

He plays a very competitive sport, so a bit of showing off as well.

Not saying it's the most mature behavior (it's not), only that, having grown up with five brothers, not all that uncommon, among guy friends, brothers, etc.

What did you say in response? Did you challenge him back? Or cower?

Oh Kevs, I don't think he was "threatening" you.

 

 

I think he was joking around with you; I grew up with five brothers, who were constantly challenging each other physically, would get into wrestling matches for no reason, saying things like "I could kick your ass"!! LOL

 

What this guy said was mild, and why in the world would he be threatening you?

 

The fact he was nice after that strongly suggests that he was joking with you, seeing what you were "made of" so to speak.

 

He plays a very competitive sport, so a bit of showing off as well.

 

Not saying it's the most mature behavior (it's not), only that, having grown up with five brothers, not all that uncommon, among guy friends, brothers, etc.

 

What did you say in response? Did you challenge him back? Or cower?

Hi Katrina! I did not say anything in response I was just laughing it off :) also we both were happy that we got to hang out but she wants to be with me alot more and I also want that but when I asked her what we could do next time we meet she said that she don’t have any idea and asked if I had any. I said that all of my ideas is empty and that we have done most things we could do.

One thing I’m thinking is to invite her over to my place even when my parents are home. (They haven’t travelled yet) we can play cards and play games on my ps4 even though she don’t play games... OR that we still could be with her friend group because the more I am with them the more they get to know me.

Oh! Or we could see what’s happening around our city if it’s any festivals or dancing lessons... but they aren’t many thing happening in Oslo... most of them are festivals. I could ask her but she likes to stay at her friend home for party not exactly outdoors