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Thread: My girlfriend broke up with me, will I get her back?

  1. #1

    My girlfriend broke up with me, will I get her back?

    Hello guys, help me here in understanding my girl friend's next step.

    We were in relationship for 3 years, she loved me so much, I was her world. But after 2 years of our relationship she got pregnant and we both know we were not ready and I asked her to abort and she had a abortion but from next day she was in so much depression, we both were. But she was physical and mentally depressed about why she got pregnant at first place. She said me she could never forgive herself and forgive me and she said she will leave me once she is strong. She was happy with me, we spent time together but then she had to move to an other place because of her job and since then she was more depressed and she always said me 'she is not strong enough to leave me but one day when she becomes strong she will leave me' as all boys do I did not take that serious. And then 6 months back a guy at her workplace was flirting with her and proposed her, since she was in grief and he was making her happy with his presence she started talking to him and then 5 months back she said me she broke up with me. I asked her so much pleased her everyday went to meet her in person and stayed with her for few weeks but she did not change her mind. She said me 'she is in grief and confused state she don't know what she is doing'. Last week I went to meet her on her bday, she said she is not in relationship with this guy but she make up with him, even if she knows she is in rebound relationship with him she wants to stop talking to him but she is unable to do because she was in grief for 10 months and after he coming she is happy. I know she still loves me, but she always say me she will never forgive herself for what happened and then never forgive me. May be she may forgive someday then she may come back but never know.

    I tried to explain her in many ways, I explain her she is in grief and confused state and I said her I will marry her next minute she comes to me, but nothing is going into her mind right now. I don't know what to do? This new guy is just playing with her, he knows she is in grief and he is taking advantage of her situation. She knew this guy is taking advantage on her but she is unable to stop it, she tried to stop talking to him but since he is the only one close to her she is unable to do it. I asked her to come back to me and I am ready to do anything for her but she won't respond to my texts.

    What should I do now? Will she come back to me?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Boston, MA
    Do you actually want her to come back to you? I mean, it sounds like she is an emotional zombie. She has no feeling at all and being with you just keeps reminding her of her abortion. I think you should probably stop bothering her. She has made her intentions clear. She does not want to be in a relationship with you but she's too weak to actually break up with you. So you should leave her alone and move on with your life. She should also get some therapy and she needs to start a new life too.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Surrey BC, Canada
    If she wants to come back she will...you can't do anything to convince her to do so. Give her space....

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    I don't think she is going to come back and stay back, no.

    She'd been telling you she was going to dump you. And she did. This is not a woman who loves you the way you love her.


  6. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Agree 100% with MissCanuck and Smackie.

  7. #6
    Thank you guys, Yeah I think the same I will give her space and let her live her life, if she wants to come back I will accept or else I will move on, but even now when I stop talking to her she will text/call me after few days when I said her I will completely stop talking, she said me "she cannot imagine her life without me, she is scared if I am out of her life". I'm like okay then lets be together, then she won't accept. Because there is an other guy who is trying on her, he totally confused her. That Idiot just took advantage of a girl who is in grief.

    I decided to give her space, talk to her when she calls me. And let her make the decision. I'm okay for anything.

  8. 04-30-2018, 12:08 PM

  9. #7
    Originally Posted by gopnik
    "she was more depressed and she always said me 'she is not strong enough to leave me but one day when she becomes strong she will leave me' as all boys do I did not take that serious"

    Well dude, you should have. Women always mean it when they say these kind of things.
    You screwed up because you didn't handle this girl correctly after abortion; she obviously warned you it wasn't working for her and you didn't act appropriately.
    It was basically over when she told you this, and she was only holding on your relationship because she didn't have a suitable replacement.
    When she found this new guy, she dumped you. This is how women do 99% of the time. They mentally and physically (go to the gym, buy new clothes, etc..) prepare for the breakup, talk and meet with other dudes while still with you, and when everything is lined up they dump you like a pile of garbage. Guys donít pay attention to their woman and then do not understand why it is happening. Women do this because it is a much more comfortable position; Most women are insecure and do not want to be single.

    Now, what you are doing is basically acting like 99% of guys out there and behaving like a beta wussy pleading and begging her. Weíve all been there.

    the more you will contact her, the more she will back off

    You need to leave her the best image of yourself, which is a forward, non needy, confident and centered guy. You must display that you care for her and want to make things work out, but if she doesnít, you are ok with her decision and that you will move on with your life.
    Tell her you donít want to be her friend and to contact you ONLY if she changes her mind; then walk away and never look back. If she wants to talk about her problems she can talk with her rebound guy.
    Donít leave on a drama or fight though. The last impression is the most important

    Be aware that by keeping contact with her you are behaving like an insecure begging woman, and women are disgusted by this type of behavior. You are hindering your chances to get this woman back.
    You are just holding her hand and listening her problems while she goes out and bang new guys. You need to be clear that you wonít be friendzoned and you must disappear. No contact at all. No borthday wishes, no new year, even if her parents die; she is dead to you
    She has to do 100% of the calling and chasing from now on. She dumped you; she needs to earn you back. You are a valuable man and you do not have time for these BS. There are billions of women out there; this is what should be your mindset as difficult as it is; i know

    I am myself about to rethread communication channels with a girl who dumped me over a huge argument. I screwed up big time. She is a hard ass and a very stubborn chick. I gave her a couple of months to cool down, and now i plan to initiate a positive conversation with her to give her the confidence speech. Then after that iíll backoff 100% and leave her alone again. Iím positive she is in a rebound relationship but i donít care. He just keeps her busy while iím not here. Iím keeping myself quite busy as well so no worries

    Donít be jaleous man. She never was your girl, it just was your turn

    Be laidback and get that ęwhateverĽ mindset and good things will come up
    You are 100% correct brother. Each and every point you mentioned it all happened in the same way. As you said I can stop talking and move on but very soon this new rebound guy will ditch her, she is already in so much pain I don't want anything else to happen to her. I'm not begging her to come back to me, I'm begging her to come out of this rebound because I know that guy is a play boy once he gets what he want he will ditch her. What do you think about this?

  10. 04-30-2018, 02:17 PM

  11. #8
    Originally Posted by gopnik
    I already told you what to do mate

    Women are like cats the more you will contact her and tell her what to do the more she will run away from you
    You must disappear, date other women, and then she will start wondering , "why isn't he chasing me anymore?" and the wheels will start turning

    Why do you even care about this rebound guy? just let it fail, she will come back even stronger afterward
    Thank you bro.

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