Long Distance Relationship, Not sure what to do? Help please

Hello everyone. I've been in a Long Distance relationship for well over 6 months now, we're both 18 years old and I live in the UK and she lives in AU. The issue is that currently I don't know what's best to do, It's a huge matter of trusting my partner and that has become something I've been finding hard to come across as of lately, recently (last month) We had an argument which had ended up in me splitting up with this girl for a day and one of the big things that had happened that was (We share information to eachothers social medias, this was her idea in the beginning of the relationship) She had kept contact with an ex which had caused quite a lot of issues for our relationship in the past and almost caused us to split up (She had begged me and cried to me that it wasn't anything important to her and that she didn't think of it, she wanted me back.) Then, she blocked them finally after I requested and this has always made me on edge scared that trusting her with everything and not ever logging into any of her accounts, then to find out that happened has just completely made me on edge over the last week. The things I had requested that she'd let me in on things even if they were small silly things and that she would finally turn her notifications on her phone (She has a mother that controls her and is quite abusive will be getting into this later etc.) And that she'd also just in general try to let me know what's going on as soon as possible... Now my last request I feel like this has had the complete opposite effect and It's really starting to Impact my well-being. She recently has been busy with University and friends which is completely fine by me and I have never minded this, I've not let my recent trust issues get the best of as hard as they are already getting to control them, issue is that before we had split up she'd always message me in the morning excited to talk to me and let me know what's going on etc. Now she Isn't even doing that and I've been noticing, trying to not take it to heart she is only really letting me know what's happening and what's going on when It's convenient for her or atleast that is how it feels 80% of the time.

Yesterday she was out with friends and she had a lot of time to message me once all day and decided not to, then I noticed that my messages were clearly sending to her phone but she wasn't answering at all and just ignoring me (Or so I thought) So I left her with a message hoping she'd reply this morning which she didn't and still had left me on unread and so I was wondering why, at this point things are rushing through my head and I'm starting to have a panic attack because I've dealt with this before in a 2 year relationship in completely different circumstances and the relationship wasn't toxic or anything. I called her maybe about 8 times across all different platforms and she finally picks up at 8am my time and tells me that her mum has taken her phone, laptop and couldn't tell me why until shes back? Now I think the first thing you'd want to do is tell someone why something is happening when your only way of communicating has been taken away and she didn't really seemed phased about it all and just told me she loved me and that she passed her test, that she don't know when she'll be back. I asked her how she's contacting me and she just said her mum had let her have it because I was spamming, then she went again and apparently didn't have enough time to answer within a minute, now I'm stuck here pulling at my heart strings and trying to find enough trust in my gut for this girl. Can you please suggest what I'd do? I love this girl dearly but I'm just really really unsure of trusting her this time and we have barely spent time together since we split up so this really doesn't help since I've been free this whole week.

A whole different issue on top of this is that she is has not told her parents about me and I've been wanting her to for multiple months so we can finally talk more freely.

You two have a very unhealthy dynamic going on here, OP.

But before I go any further, a question: have you met in real life?

No we have not, we planned for the end of this year.

I’ve been through LDRs with my husband on an off before we got married... and I could only get through HALF of your post to say “it ain’t worth it.” Too much drama for someone you’ve haven’t met and have “known” for 6 months.

No we have not, we planned for the end of this year.

This is why purely online relationships don't work.

You don't know each other very well. Trusting someone you have never met is never a wise idea, precisely because you have no way of knowing if anything they're telling you is true. Love develops when you spend time together, get to truly know each other, and see how compatible you actually are. What you have here is attachment and emotional dependence, which is very different.

It appears the novelty of a cyber relationship wore off for her, and she's lost interest. And honestly, she is smart to be backing out. Not because you're a bad guy, but because it's not healthy at all to be tethered to someone you've never met and answering to that person. You would be best to let her go, so you can focus on developing relationships with girls you can actually spend time with. She is out living her life, and you should be doing the same.

This is why purely online relationships don't work.

 

You don't know each other very well. Trusting someone you have never met is never a wise idea, precisely because you have no way of knowing if anything they're telling you is true. Love develops when you spend time together, get to truly know each other, and see how compatible you actually are. What you have here is attachment and emotional dependence, which is very different.

 

It appears the novelty of a cyber relationship wore off for her, and she's lost interest. And honestly, she is smart to be backing out. Not because you're a bad guy, but because it's not healthy at all to be tethered to someone you've never met and answering to that person. You would be best to let her go, so you can focus on developing relationships with girls you can actually spend time with. She is out living her life, and you should be doing the same.

We know each other really well and have discussed a lot of things, have spent a lot of time together and always do lots of things. I don't really want to give up at this moment on the relationship or her since she asked to have me back meaning she wants to improve together but from what you read do you think there is anything I can personally do to push my relationship into the right direction?

We know each other really well and have discussed a lot of things, have spent a lot of time together and always do lots of things. I don't really want to give up at this moment on the relationship or her since she asked to have me back meaning she wants to improve together but from what you read do you think there is anything I can personally do to push my relationship into the right direction?

No, you have spent zero time together in person. You yourself said you have never met; how can you do lots of things together? This isn't what knowing someone really well looks like, OP.

I am going to be honest, and you won't like hearing it, but unless and until you meet in person, this isn't a true relationship. She isn't interested in being glued to her phone/computer/laptop and is clearly starting to make excuses to get you to leave her alone. You can't push anything on her or make the relationship turn out a certain way if she doesn't want to meet you in the middle. And right now, it's evident she doesn't want this. Speaking as a woman myself, she is not that into it anymore. Most people are not going to be interesting in maintaining an online relationship for very long when real people, activities and adventures are just outside their bedroom doors.

You say you've been free all week, so I am curious, do you have you own social circle? Studies? Hobbies? It sounds like you spend an awful lot of time waiting to hear from her and working yourself into an anxious wreck. This isn't good for you.

I found out last night she had been cheating on me since we very first started dating on me and was using me to get over her current boyfriend, also bounced back on her ex to cheat on me again (We're now friends) and that she also lied to make about her mother taking her stuff to use it as an excuse to cheat when she started cheating on another guy on me and also cheating on him. Turns out she was just a huge cheater in the end.

Sorry to hear this. She sounds like a catfish who wanted an online pal. Why not get on some dating apps and get out more socially and meet real-life local girls? That would make you a lot happier than getting sucked into a screen "relationship"

I'm not that good with girls in real life though, I'm actually quite introverted and awkward, go into my shell when I'm outside

OP, this girl isn't your friend, either. Block her. She has been dating other guys the entire time you thought she was your girlfriend. Now you know for sure that you didn't really know her at all.

In kindness, you need to learn to develop your social skills with people in real life. Many are shy and awkward around the opposite sex.

That gets better with experience and practice. The solution is not to engage in cyber relationships, as this creates a false sense of intimacy with a stranger and almost inevitably leads to heartbreak for the one who got too attached.