Talking to a friend but not if it's more than friend ship

Hello everyone,

I'm telling a bit frustrated and confused. Wanted to get some advice on the situation.

So I added an old friend on social media, (went to high school with him, very nice guy, didn't really get to know each other on a personal level)

As soon as we got added as friends he messaged me. We talked I didn't think much of it. More of like how are you and what you've been up to kind of thing. But the he started asking if I was single married divorced. I kind of avoided the answer and asked him first. He's single no kids. I asked if he wasn't ready to settle down? His answer haven't meet the right one.

Honestly I thought it was just couple messages here and there and that's it. He asked ," what do you say to getting together and catching up in person" ?

At first I thought ok sure why not. But then i actually felt pressure of trying and go out and hang with friends. Which I don't mind with one that I do hang out with but we both have kids and she's going threw a separation as well.

Anyways I don't know How to feel aboit this. Like yes just friends, but the thought of putting myself out there terrifies me.

We continued to talk and he sent me his number to text him. At first I was like ok maybe he doesn't want to do it threw social media. But then again I didn't text him right away.

I guess we ended up making plans to meet up Thursday, I'm still iffy about the situation. But idk he said he was excited. Idk what to make of this, like is he excited about hanging out and just catching up or getting to know each other on another level?

I don't want to put a lot of thought into this but I just have a lot of insecurities.

My gril-friend is really encouraging me into just meeting him as friends thatch need to be more social.

So I gave him my number for him to text me. He did, at one point he asked what I was doing I answered with ,dropping my daughter of at school, he didn't reply right away, that was fine he works I get it.

My question,

I should put out there that I do have kids as soon as possible? Or wait?

But if it's just friends it shouldn't matter? Right?

Am I over thinking it?

Not that I want to date him or anything, it's just I'm new at this. It's been a long time since I've spoken to guy friend or had a social life. I feel guilty trying, because my life now is about my kids. And I like being in "mom clothes" and don't like the idea of "trying to go out and try and inpress anyone"

Maybe it's just me,

You contacted him as a classmate. It sounds more like two classmates meeting up for coffee. Go and enjoy or cancel if you're nervous for whatever reason.

Thank you for your advise. He did mention getting breakfast. But I'm not a morning person.

He mentioned taking me out on his motorcycle for a ride .

He does that for fun so he wanted to take me to a motorcycle meet up to ride?

If it was to get coffee for sure I wouldn't mind.

You contacted him first as a classmate. He asked normal "hey how have you been?" type questions typical of class reunion chitchat. It's unclear why you believe he wants to date you. Why not suggest a simple brief quick lunch to catch up? Obviously you are not being forced to make it a breakfast meeting (although that makes it clear, it's very very casual), you are not being forced to ride on a motorcycle, etc. You need to speak up, that's all.

He did mention getting breakfast. But I'm not a morning person. he wanted to take me to a motorcycle meet up to ride?

Not thinking he wants to date. Just really unsure to meet up to catch up. I'm self conscious of how I look to meet with any one even with my girl-friend sometimes I cancel on her if I'm feeling a certain way.

According to your recent threads, you're far from over your ex. With that being said, I would focus more on getting your life back together, along with your ex being totally out of the picture.

At any rate, I'd slow down and face one issue before creating another one. JMO...

Female perspective here: he's looking to date. Guys don't go that forward that much without motivation. Remember YOU are the one that added/make contact with his first. He's got the impression you could be interested...he's thinking, why contact him out of the blue, you really didn't know him all that well. Geez she mush be interested in me!

If it were me I would just chat lightly over social media and play it safe. Texting/going out together one on one is too personal....unless you set some boundaries with him like mentioning you are taking time out to get your life back together, not ready for dating, just focusing on the kids, enjoying your freedom, etc. It is key to get that message across so he doesn't have any expectations.

Female perspective here: he's looking to date. Guys don't go that forward that much without motivation. Remember YOU are the one that added/make contact with his first. He's got the impression you could be interested...he's thinking, why contact him out of the blue, you really didn't know him all that well. Geez she mush be interested in me!

 

If it were me I would just chat lightly over social media and play it safe. Texting/going out together one on one is too personal....unless you set some boundaries with him like mentioning you are taking time out to get your life back together, not ready for dating, just focusing on the kids, enjoying your freedom, etc. It is key to get that message across so he doesn't have any expectations.

I agree here. Testing the waters with the breakfast get together, if it goes well then suggesting something to do lasting through lunch. Just reading through your area giving the right signals.

To him he is thinking you are interested. You need to speak up if you don't really want this. He is getting the right signals from you and he will be disappointed later through the effort her is giving you.