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Thread: Advice for my relationship

  1. #1

    Advice for my relationship

    Hi Iím 28 years old and is in a relationship where I know what I am doing and I need help!

    I been in relationship since I was 16 , I always from young wanted to be in a relationship with a male where we can build for our future and make progress.

    I would say I been in four serious relationship with guys , I never been single because I donít think I can handle being alone with no partner next to me . I donít know if it wired but I love having a man or someone to feel the same way as I do .

    I been through a lot with my exís and I know Iím experienced enough to see the signs of a man that is up to something. I know the person doing wrong but I donít yell or screen or anything like that about it . I make sure I have prove before I bring up anything , I donít like to be wrong or have fall ways of bring up something that dose not exist.

    The guy Iím dealing with is a older guy for the first time and I always been with guys my age but live in a different lifestyle then me. The type of guys I like is simple and Iíll take you for who you are depends on how you treat me.

    My last relationships, I been abused . I been taken advantage of and I have kids. Iím young but I know I have experience enough to be mature enough to understand any type of negative sign .

    This guy Iím with right now i knew him for 9 years but hardly knew him I use to grab kush from him and I was with one of his friends he knew from his area so he was always good to me no matter what.

    He knows what I been through, he knows Iím broken n just want to have a simple life with me and him to get out of the toxic area that he grew up in n try to live something different from what he is use to.

    He great by taken care of me meaning make me breakfast. Lunch dinner and make sure Iím always good in that type of way but he dose not work he lives with his mom it just seem like he dose not want to leave or he just is to comfortable in his life n feels he donít need to change anything for no one.

    I heard storyís about him in the area and it things that would make a women think negative about the person and wonder if he will do it to you. Everything I heard it the truth but he just seem to lie about it all the time. Me as a person your past is your past i donít care Iím just curious about him n what he been through I donít judge because nobody perfect.

    We use to be so good in the beginning of our relationship loving cuddling kissing and so on.
    Now it almost. Year and he been slacking a lot n I feel he cheating on me because there times where he cleaning the car which take 10 mins
    He gone for 40 mins when he just downstairs.
    I know no one take 40 mins to clean snow off the car. There even days when me and him are fighting and I leave to clear my head , I come back the next day he dose not want me to come back in side the house for two days by bring up things from my pass and hurting my feeling when I did the right by walking away n coming back to solve instead of fighting .

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Did you move out? Are they his kids? Are you married to him?
    Last edited by Wiseman2; 04-16-2018 at 12:14 PM.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    I get it you have never been without a man...you know what that is? Co-decadency. Look it up. This is why you stay too long in these crappy relationships. You are old enough to stand on your own two feet. If you need support turn to your family and friends, don't be afraid to ask for their help. Being single can be enlightening, and empowering.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    I get it you have never been without a man...you know what that is? Co-decadency. Look it up. This is why you stay too long in these crappy relationships. You are old enough to stand on your own two feet. If you need support turn to your family and friends, don't be afraid to ask for their help. Being single can be enlightening, and empowering.
    Lol it may be co decadency but I think you meant codependency.

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  6. #5
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Did you move out?
    No I just walked out but he knows Iíll call or come back

  7. #6
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Did you move out? Are they his kids? Are you married to him?
    No there not his kids and I am not married.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Do you and your children have a decent place to stay? Can you move out and stay with family or friends until you get your own polace that is s better environment for your kids than all this fighting and leaving/coming back etc.? Stop playing games with him and move yourself and your children to a safe place.
    Originally Posted by needreallove
    No I just walked out but he knows Iíll call or come back

  9. #8
    Well my kids are with my parents I came to his area to build my schooling and life to I can have a career and live with my kids . I m just trying to find myself as well n be better as a person. I honestly want to get away from the negative in this world at times.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by needreallove
    Well my kids are with my parents I came to his area to build my schooling and life to I can have a career and live with my kids . I m just trying to find myself as well n be better as a person. I honestly want to get away from the negative in this world at times.
    Then building your career and taking care of your children along with the help of your mother should be your priority. Your priority (as you've currently made it) should not be on some d-bag that doesn't work.

    Seriously, what are you thinking? Leave him, get your act together and get looking after your children.

  11. #10
    Bronze Member LootieTootie's Avatar
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    It's really good you are going to school. Use school as the tool to empower you to better yourself. I can tell you this... theres a lot of school programs and financial aid for single mothers at universities. Talk to your school counselors because the $ will help you. also if you are serious about school- do well in school. the better your grades, the more opportunities are going to drop on your lap because there's help and support for single mothers attending jr college, universities & law schools - you just gotta be proactive in looking and asking.

    I get that change may be hard for you, but when you break out of your status quo, you won't need a "man" to be by your side to achieve anything. This is your biggest issue, codependency.


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