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Thread: Girl cancelled first date lastminute

  1. #1
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    Girl cancelled first date lastminute

    First of all, I’m a gay woman aged 29 with a dissapointing dating history.

    It took eight months for me to decide to start dating again after a bad relationship ended. I had been busy with my house, career, other stuff. I finally mastered the courage to go on a date again, it was scheduled for saturday night.

    During the day I sent a lighthearted text asking what time she wanted to meet, no response so I asked again at around 6pm. She replies an hour later she is still with friends and their plans changed and she would go grab dinner with them and that we’d better postpone the date because it could be late. She apologized for “unforeseen circumstances”.

    By the time I got that response I was already getting ready, so this kind of bothered me. I replied with an “oh ok, we’d better cancel then”.

    Then nothing - no text asking to reschedule.

    Am I high maintenance for expecting someone to follow up on a first date or at least cancel on time (like a day in advance)? Ofcourse I would have understand if she got sick or something happened but this was just her wanting to hang out with her friends longer.

    Ofcourse I am not texting this woman myself again, since her obviously very low interest level. But I mean - awtch. I suddenly remember why I hate dating.

  2. #2
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    How rude. She does not respond to your text until 7 PM, then ditches you for her friends. Awful.

    Would you have considered hanging out with her if she had wanted to reschedule?

  3. #3
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    Indeed rude. No you're not high maintenance. I would move on.

  4. #4
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    How rude. She does not respond to your text until 7 PM, then ditches you for her friends. Awful.

    Would you have considered hanging out with her if she had wanted to reschedule?
    Part of me does as I was fairly interested in this woman, but now I’m thinking no thanks.

    It’s just, it took me a lot of courage to take up dating again after yet another failed dating experience/ short relationship in october of last year. But I long for a connection again so..
    I finally agreed to a date (after only ten days of chatting) and here we go again.

    So sick of dating and everything that comes with it.

    If she tried to reschedule what would you say?

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  6. #5
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    She has already shown you who she is. Why would you even give her a second chance.? Start expecting more for yourself. Today!

    Block her.

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    She has already shown you who she is. Why would you even give her a second chance.? Start expecting more for yourself. Today!

    Block her.
    Thank you hollyj, I think this is the root of my dating issues, that I not value myself very highly. And I always seem to pick the ones that treat me as such.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by Lucha
    Thank you hollyj, I think this is the root of my dating issues, that I not value myself very highly. And I always seem to pick the ones that treat me as such.
    It is a new day.

    On a positive note, you recognized this was off. Please do not respond to this woman if she reaches out, as you know she is not respectful of you, or your time.

    I hope that you block.

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by Lucha
    During the day I sent a lighthearted text asking what time she wanted to meet, no response so I asked again at around 6pm. She replies an hour later she is still with friends and their plans changed and she would go grab dinner with them and that we’d better postpone the date because it could be late. She apologized for “unforeseen circumstances”.
    Unforseen circumstances? Go grab to get dinner with them? You then do all the running around and chasing up while she goes to dinner with her friends due to unforeseen circumstances!? Circumstances which she couldn't control BUT could have had the deceny and good manners to let you know. All this on a first date?

    I'm in my 40s now and I ve learned in the past. People who want to be with you will make the effort. People who unsure about you or lack interest will create delay tactics to avoid to get close to you.

    You were quite within your right to text again to find out about the agreed plans you made. No on should have their time wasted or left hanging on. Going by the evidence you gave. I d watch out and look after yourself. Trust your gut instinct but she sounds like to me one of those timewasters I encountered in my life who just love the attention and give nothing back in return. keep your distance if I were you.

  10. #9
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    Would you all block and unfollow immediately or give her like a week a chance to try to reschedule?
    She has not reached out to me since. Think I know the answer but just want to check if you give people like this the chance to make it up.

  11. #10
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    No you're not high maintenance. I wouldn't tolerate that especially on a first date. I'd just write her off and delete her number.

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