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Ex husband reached out


soulsurvivor26

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My ex husband reached out and said this

 

I am so sorry. I live with regret for how I treated you. I’m not trying to win you back or come back into your life. I’m trying to let you I realized the error in my ways. I treated you so terrible. I devalued you. I pushed you away. I chose everyone but you. I was a piece of that didn’t deserve you ever in the relationship. You gave me so much and I threw it away. I should of never left. Our relationship was never that bad that we couldn’t work things out. I have flash backs from one of the nights we fought in your room. How I gave you some truth I was probably cheating again and you looked at me with such pain on your face. You have no Idea how much I regret that. You have no idea how much I wish I could take that moment and all the other moments back. I pray that your well. Whenever life takes you I pray your safe. And you make wise decisions. Don’t do drugs. Don’t get drunk. Hang around good people that going to motivate you to go up in life. Don’t go backwards. I know you can understand why I keep you block. For my own mental sanity. I don’t want to go backwards. I don’t want to get Baker acted again. I blocked and avoid everyone from that point in my life. God bless. Always trust in God.

 

What should I think about the message?! I didn’t need the apology? Please advise. Do you think he misses me, still loves me or wants me? I realized I would always love him but I won’t allow myself back, I deserve better.

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Maybe he got therapy and the guilt was eating away at him.

Maybe he joined a new church and he's apologizing because that's what they preach.

Doesn't sound like he wants to rekindle anything, just being sincere.

 

And yes, you deserve better than a cheater. I hope all goes well for you.

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Maybe he got therapy and the guilt was eating away at him.

Maybe he joined a new church and he's apologizing because that's what they preach.

Doesn't sound like he wants to rekindle anything, just being sincere.

 

And yes, you deserve better than a cheater. I hope all goes well for you.

 

Thank you I guess but he’s apologized before this isn’t the first time

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He's being clear he doesn't want contact, so whatever prompted it, just say "thank you" in your mind and move beyond it.

I know it's confusing but only he knows why he did it. And I don't advise asking him because you might open up Pandora's box. Just try to accept it and go on. Words from any ex can be confusing and cause us to overthink.

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A 12 step program apology is just as sincere (if not more so) than any apology. If he is in the program then he is trying to take accountability for himself and his choices at least on some level. I would take it as a healing balm.. Say a silent prayer for him to be well.. And keep moving forward with your life. One step at a time.

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A 12 step program apology is just as sincere (if not more so) than any apology. If he is in the program then he is trying to take accountability for himself and his choices at least on some level. I would take it as a healing balm.. Say a silent prayer for him to be well.. And keep moving forward with your life. One step at a time.

 

Just what I was thinking. I’ve always found amends from a 12 step program to be my favourite way of acknowledging wrongs, because the person (or me) is truly taking responsibility for what they have done. It’s cathartic for everyone involved.

 

That being said you aren’t obligated to accept or respond to his apology... you can just use it as an opportunity to let go of the past and move forward.

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It looks like a ploy to me to restart communication.

 

If he has apologized before then why do it again?

 

He says he doesn't want to win you back to look sincere but only time and how he lives his life from now on will tell the real truth.

 

If he is truly sorry and is in some sort of program then a reply is not needed and may do more harm than good to you both.

 

I have the feeling he is seeking your forgiveness for himself with the hopes of getting you to talk to him. He has partially succeeded as you are now thinking about him and secretly hoping he has changed so one day you two can be together.

 

Either way the best thing to do is hope he will one day actually live as he talks and continue NC.

 

Lost

 

PS This is from one of your very first posts on this forum. Lest we forget who we are talking about...

 

I just feel like everything was a lie to begin with, and I know he had major issues. Anyways he is very manipulative so I don't doubt he's lying and manipulating her

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It looks like a ploy to me to restart communication.

 

If he has apologized before then why do it again?

 

He says he doesn't want to win you back to look sincere but only time and how he lives his life from now on will tell the real truth.

 

If he is truly sorry and is in some sort of program then a reply is not needed and may do more harm than good to you both.

 

I have the feeling he is seeking your forgiveness for himself with the hopes of getting you to talk to him. He has partially succeeded as you are now thinking about him and secretly hoping he has changed so one day you two can be together.

 

Either way the best thing to do is hope he will one day actually live as he talks and continue NC.

 

Lost

 

PS This is from one of your very first posts on this forum. Lest we forget who we are talking about...

 

I just feel like everything was a lie to begin with, and I know he had major issues. Anyways he is very manipulative so I don't doubt he's lying and manipulating her

 

Yes that’s true well thank you for your help Definately appreciate It

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He wants to share his great epiphany as many recent druggies, drinkers, etc. in recovery or prisoners do. It's all about him and how amazing and insightful he supposedly now is. It's absurd, don't even take it personally because it's all about his humble-bragging etc. Just ignore it, same bs, different flavor.

Like why text me you’ve left me alone all this time.
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  • 9 months later...

Often times men don't realize what they have until they don't have it anymore. The worst thing they do is think the grass is greener and realize it actually wasn't. He regrets. Let him. Seems like he knows he took you through a lot. Forgive him, learn from the experience and give yourself time to heal. There is something better waiting ahead. You will probably always still love him to a degree, but I would make him live with the decisions he made.

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  • 3 months later...
I think you should at least have a face to face meeting to discuss.

This thread is over a year old :)

Often times men don't realize what they have until they don't have it anymore. The worst thing they do is think the grass is greener and realize it actually wasn't.

Sure, but I wouldn't go generalizing like that. Women probably do it as well*

 

C*

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  • 2 months later...

Just take it at face value. He for whatever reason realizes he was a douche before and said hes sorry. That isnt a bad thing. Accept it or not, and move on. I wouldnt reply if you are trying to go on with your life without him in it. Just nod your head to yourself and move on.

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