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Thread: Guaging interest online

  1. #1
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    Guaging interest online

    Got tired of waiting around to be messaged by men I might be interested in online so I messaged a few guys who I thought seemed interesting.

    One in particular replied and he seems to have a lot in common with me, head screwed on and stable.

    I have noticed however that although he replies at length he hasnít complemented me and his last reply asked no questions in 6 paragraphs!

    Is this disinterest, rudeness or should I just pay attention to this and keep messaging as usual, volunteering information in absence of questions and asking questions of him?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    The key to ruling out time-wasters, pen-pals, etc. is to message briefly and proceed to meeting for coffee/whatever asap. Definitely avoid trying to build rapport/a relationship before meeting by worrying about message content or intervals. Essays and not moving to meet up are red flags of a weirdo/time-waster.... Edit: or constipation according to j.man, lol.
    Originally Posted by thornz
    I have noticed however that although he replies at length he hasnít complemented me and his last reply asked no questions in 6 paragraphs! Is this disinterest, rudeness or should I just pay attention to this and keep messaging as usual, volunteering information in absence of questions and asking questions of him?
    Last edited by Wiseman2; 04-11-2018 at 09:32 AM.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Why would he compliment you when he doesnt know you?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    A lengthy response could mean little more than his morning dump was taking awhile. Gauge interest by how they act across a table, not on a screen.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Tell him you are enjoying the exchange and would like to continue it face to face. Then ask him when he is available to meet for coffee.
    Don't get involved with endless e-mailing and exchange of information with strangers. You are wasting time. The only thing that matters is how it goes face to face.

  7. #6
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    Generally you get at least some indication that they are attracted to you. Zilch from this guy unless ďyou seem coolĒ counts. Then again Iíve hardly showered him with compliments either.

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    Yes valid points and I have noticed that when I have got to know the essentials and tire of lengthy messages (so my replies become brief) they get the hint and swap numbers or ask to meet. I shanít be asking to meet those I messaged. I like a somewhat traditional dynamic so if the guy doesnít like or feel comfortable doing some asking on dates etc then heís not for me anyway. Iíll rein it in with this one as I donít have time for pen pals 🤣

  9. #8
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by thornz
    Yes valid points and I have noticed that when I have got to know the essentials and tire of lengthy messages (so my replies become brief) they get the hint and swap numbers or ask to meet. I shanít be asking to meet those I messaged. I like a somewhat traditional dynamic so if the guy doesnít like or feel comfortable doing some asking on dates etc then heís not for me anyway. Iíll rein it in with this one as I donít have time for pen pals 🤣
    That's just playing coy.

    Anyway, you can't gauge traditional when you start out online. There is nothing traditional about it. Besides, that ship already sailed when you reached out and started messaging them first. You already took charge so carry it through. Once you meet face to face, THEN you can actually start figuring out real life dynamics with each other. What happens online is really quite meaningless in that respect.

    When I was using OLD, if the guy wasn't asking to meet within a few exchanges, I would. It wasn't that those guys were too shy, etc, etc, etc. It was simply that they don't know what each woman wants. Some want to e-mail forever. Some don't. Only way he knows what I want is if I speak up and tell him. Makes life so much easier than playing "guess what I'm thinking" games. It also had the added benefit of quickly weeding out those who are just looking to be pen pals. If you suggest to meet and the guy is interested in meeting, he'll jump on it. If you get excuses, you've got a pen pal you can safely delete.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Also don't give out too much info to online people. Upon meeting you can gauge interest/attraction and if you want to continue.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by thornz
    Got tired of waiting around to be messaged by men I might be interested in online so I messaged a few guys who I thought seemed interesting.

    One in particular replied and he seems to have a lot in common with me, head screwed on and stable.

    I have noticed however that although he replies at length he hasnít complemented me and his last reply asked no questions in 6 paragraphs!

    Is this disinterest, rudeness or should I just pay attention to this and keep messaging as usual, volunteering information in absence of questions and asking questions of him?
    If you're not getting lots of messages, join a different site or deactivate you account and reactivate in a few weeks.

    Or change your profile and update pics.

    On average, women typically get so many responses, no need to message men first and men know this too.

    So when they receive a message from a woman first, they think "hmm must be something wrong with her if she's messaging me first."

    That's the mentality of many men on line.

    Guy I am dating now I met on line, he's been on line (off and on) for years and he admiited that to me!
    Last edited by katrina1980; 04-11-2018 at 11:44 AM.

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