My boyfriend made a new female friend at work, should I be worried?

Hi I'm new and I'm desperate for some help about whether or not I should be worried about my boyfriend's new female friend. We've been together for over a year and 5 months and have been living together for about 7 months now. I'm 19 and he's 20. Recently he's become more aquainted with a coworker of his. At first I was okay with it. I really don't like/want to be the crazy jealous girlfriend and I try to push away anytimes I start to feel jealous. What sparked my sudden worry was when he told me about how she told him that when she was a kid she suddenly decided one day she needed to be alone. When he said it/the way he said it gave off to me that he was sympathizing with her. He himself tends to feel lonely and left out when it comes to his friends and he's told me he feels lonely. We live together and when I'm with him I'll admit I'm clingy but I understand that he'd like to have more friends he can do stuff with. I myself do not have many friends but I am content with just him and his family being my main connections. So him sympathizing with her on that level worries me that soon or eventually he'll develop feelings for her. He and I love animals and in fact that is how we quickly became friends and got close. He excitedly stated it was so cool that she is also an animal lover and how awesome it is to have someone to talk to about them. She's in her 30's but he's also thinks it's "crazy" how she looks like she's in her early 20's. It's only been a few days since they started getting to know eachother. They have eachother's numbers, added eachothers instagrams and yesterday night she was his ride to work(he works 9pm to 5:30am). In the morning he usually gets home between 6 to 6:30. I woke up at 7:20ish and found he wasn't home yet, I automatically thought he for sure was with her and found I was right. He didn't come home until 8 and when I heard him, he had brought her along too and I heard him introducing her too his pets in the backyard. He sounded enthusiastic and when she left, he came into the house and when asked by his mother who the girl was, he happily told her and when he spoke, it reminded me of a guy telling his parents/friends about the girl he's interested in. When he came in the room I asked him why he was home late and he confrimed what I was thinking. He said he went to eat breakfast with her because neither of them ate for their lunch at work. I'm so worried because to me it feels familiar to how we started. I have even more worry because we went through a bit of a conflict about a month ago. He was being blackmailed by a girl that had screenshots of him when he and her were masterbating to eachother via videochat. He did this recently when I had moved in with him. His reasoning was that he had been feeling lonely and disconnected from me but that that was the only time and that he deeply regrets it. I'm still afraid of it happening again or that this is the beginning of him losing interest in me. Only this time it may be more real since the girl is actually present instead of through a screen. Am I being paranoid or overreacting? I don't want to be overbearing and because this is a new friendship I don't want to bring it up and make him feel he can't have any friends or do anything but sometimes it feels as if he is quicker to go out with others than me, even when he doesn't have plans. I've tried suggesting things he likes but even that he vaguely answers too. I'm afraid this girl will become too close to him and lose interest in me. In only a few days they've hit it off. He still hugs and kisses me but I'm still afraid this new friendship is the beginning of losing interest in me. Can someone please help me? Do I really have anything to worry about? I'm sorry this is so long, thankyou for anyone who took the time to read this. I hope I get a reply.

What he did wasn't okay. Esp since he cheated on you in the past. If he's someone that has a lot of female friends and hangs with them platonically it's different. This guy cheated on you. Doesn't matter if he deeply regrets it, he still did it. And he prob wouldn't have told you, you had to find out yourself. If its due to loneliness, of course this behaviour will continue.

Eh you're way too young for this BS. You deserve much better.

He does have female friends but he doesn't hang out with them too much and they way I found out about the blackmail was because his sister told me but he had intended to tell me himself so he could explain if the girl he masterbated to sent me the screenshots. He doesn't want me to bring that incident up but since this new female friend has come along I'm worried again. I love him but I certainly don't want to feel I'm being the crazy girlfriend

Nooo..its okay to have conversations at work about what you have in common with coworkers but its flat out wrong for him to hang out with her after work an bring her to your place. Its one thing to say "hey, this new coworker has a lot of common with us, maybe we should invite her over for dinner..."

At any rate, he is a big time cheater. If he cheats - has sexy time with another woman on videochat when you are not immediately entertaining him, etc, I would kick him to the curb immediately.

Am I being paranoid or overreacting? I don't want to be overbearing and because this is a new friendship I don't want to bring it up and make him feel he can't have any friends

Girl, you NEED and have the RIGHT To bring it up!! He brought her to your home while you were ASLEEP? And are NORMALLY ASLEEP? He has extremely poor boundaries.

Honestly, I would have his bags packed and leave them on the front porch. Or if it is his place, I'd leave with the pets that are yours!!

I will bring it up, thankyou very much for replying. I think I will try talking to him about this today when we have a chance alone

I will bring it up, thankyou very much for replying. I think I will try talking to him about this today when we have a chance alone

Honestly, I would not just "bring it up". I'd be gone. I'd dump him. I hope the talk goes well

Based on my most recent situation I would be worried about it as well. It seems like something could be going on. Hopefully it's not.

Based on my most recent situation I would be worried about it as well. It seems like something could be going on. Hopefully it's not.

To me it doesn't matter. if ANYONE brought someone to my home and introduced them to my pets WHILE I WAS SLEEPING when they only just got to know someone a few days ago, they don't care a shred about me. Sorry, outside of immediate family popping in to pick something up and it was prearranged, i would never bring someone home while my significant other was sleeping (we are not talking about a quick nap, but a reasonable time to be sleeping. Before 8 am, after midnight, etc, are reasonable to think that people could be sleeping)

I think you're wasting your time trying to sustain a relationship with someone this clueless and immature. It's not your job to raise him, and if this situation involves living with him and his mother/family, I'd pack up and leave, ASAP. Blood is thicker than water, which amounts to regardless of the circumstances, they'll side with him.

This is not meant to sound harsh, yet you need to look at this in a realistic light.

I myself do not have many friends but I am content with just him and his family being my main connections.

This is something you need to fix NOW. You are setting yourself up for a co-dependency relationship. This is not healthy... at all. You need an outlet outside of your relationship too. You can't always rely on your boyfriend, especially since he has already betrayed you.

He said he went to eat breakfast with her because neither of them ate for their lunch at work.

And he couldn't invite you out together? This is not ok.

He was being blackmailed by a girl that had screenshots of him when he and her were masterbating to eachother via videochat. He did this recently when I had moved in with him

I would of left this relationship immediately. There is zero excuse for this while he is in a relationship with you. Oh boo-hoo-hoo about being "lonely." My ass.

You need to dump this dude. He's a pathetic pervert.

I found out about the blackmail was because his sister told me but he had intended to tell me himself so he could explain if the girl he masterbated to sent me the screenshots.

Get real, OP. He was never going to tell you. At all. The reason he'd come clean was because the other girl THREATENED to blackmail him, and that you'd find out about it.

Your boyfriend is a scumbag and a terrible person.

I think I will try talking to him about this today when we have a chance alone

He's a cheater. And like all cheaters, he will use a grocery list of excuses to justify his behavior. The bottom line is that he has NO respect for you or this relationship with you. He has demonstrated his lack of respect twice.

It is time that you stop being a doormat for this loser and grow a backbone. Don't give him any room for excuses. He blew it... twice. You walk out and let the social consequences hit him.

i think it’s great to make new friends. Here are the red flags I see in this situation. He has not invited you to meet her and yet he already brought her to his home to meet his family and pets. She is much older than he is in a way that makes a close friendship unusual. He is someone whose chested during your not that long relationship so he’s not particularly suited to having close female friends where it gets this intense this fast. My sense is that if she was a mature adult she would have already suggested to him that she meet you and get to know you too. She’s old enough to know they befriending a 20 year old guy from work isn’t going to sit well with his SO. My guess - she’s toying with him - she wants to hook up with a young hot guy and she’s worming her way into his life.

And as I’ve written many times before I think it’s great to have opposite gender friendships. I just don’t think this is a platonic situation or if it is it won’t be for long.

My guess - she’s toying with him - she wants to hook up with a young hot guy and she’s worming her way into his life.

Cougar alert!

He cheated on you within six months. You should have ended it then.

He is not to be trusted. Find another guy.

You moved in way too soon, as you can see. If you had known him longer, you would recognize that he is a cheating scumbag.