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Thread: Is there any hope left? What should I do?

  1. #21
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    Anything she wants to throw at you just ignore it. You no longer have any ties to her and when she comes crawling back with a message to see how you've been after this 37 year old guy is bored with her that will be your revenge.

    Being betrayed sucks. Get better not bitter. You don't need that negativity in your life it will keep you from getting a good woman. Stay humble.

  2. #22
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    Well one more update for you guys.
    So my dad saw this OM our at a restaurant last week, ex wife wasnít with him. He was at the bar at the restaurant. As soon as he saw my dad, the OM dipped out. Dad told me about it when I got home from work (still living with my parents until I join the Air Force). I told my dad how weird that was, considering my ex wife wouldnít let me go out to bars to save my life, and this guy is out and about. Told my dad I wouldnít be surprised if something had happened in fairytale land.

    Well turns out my gut was right, a few days later I get a phone call from work from a number I didnít have saved in my phone. So I didnít answer. Get a voicemail and of course, itís her.

    The voicemail said ďHey ďmy nameĒ this is ďex wifeís nameĒ I know Iím probably the last person on earth you want to talk too, but I just want to talk about things whenever you have a minuteĒ.

    So of course, I called her after I got off of work. She proceeds to cry and told me that she made a big mistake. I told her these were not mistakes, but choices, I told her you made a choice to have an affair, you made a choice to divorce me for the 37 year old, you made a choice to move in with him, you made a choice to try to put a bogus restraining order on me. She insisted that they were all mistakes. I told her okay, pretend I made all those ďmistakesĒ would you be on the phone talking to me after I realized what I did was wrong. She said no. I said exactly.

    She then told me how sorry she was AGAIN. She told me that she was unhappy and he was just there. I asked her if she was so unhappy, why were we in the process of buying a house A WEEK before all this happened. She told me she thought it would be new and could fix us, make her happy. I said I didnít believe it.


    The conversation went on about God, how she feels like sheís condemned her soul to hell and she needs me to forgive her. I told her God can forgive you, it doesnít mean that I have too. Then went on to mental illness. She believes something is wrong with her and wants my help to fix it. I told her flatly that yes, I think there is something wrong with you mentally, no sane person leaves a 6 year relationship a 10 month marriage for someone that much older than her. But that I would not help her figure out what it is.

    She then brought up the air force, and told me how she didnít want me to join. I told her that unfortunately you lost the privilege of telling me what to do the moment you decided to leave me for another man. Thatís when I hung up.


    SO after all that, she comes to my brothers work place to give me a picture of my family that I must have left over at our apartment.

    Iím at a loss for words. Is this normal?
    She literally just tried to have a restraining order put on me.

    I guess the grass wasnít greener on the other side after all.

  3. 06-30-2018, 08:36 AM

  4. #23
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    "Iím at a loss for words. Is this normal?"
    -Yep, more normal than not.

  5. #24
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    @sweetgirl28. Donít worry, I have no plans at all to continue talking to her. Honestly, the only reason why I called her back was bc i felt like this conversation would give me some type of closure. I wanted her to know I was doing just fine without her. I feel like she knew I put her on a pedetsal. That she knew my life would be all out of wack without her in it.

    And it was, I canít stress enough that it really was. She was the ďbead makerĒ if you will. She had a better job, hell I had to move back in with my parents bc of all of this. But my eyes were opened. I realized, maybe not as quickly as I wanted too, but still fairly quickly that I didnít deserve this. I didnít deserve to be cheated on, especially after all the bull I put up with over the years.

    Iím beyond 1,000 percent convinced that my ex wife is indeed a narcissistic sociopath. She feels no guilt in any of this, and everything she has done she has justified ď that is makes her happyĒ.

    I refuse to be someoneís second choice. I refuse to try to fix something that I didnít break. And I refuse to allow this woman to have any more power over me.


    She made this reality. I hate the OM, I really do, bc he knew that my wife was married. He knew everything and still pursued her. But she allowed all of this to happen. Bc of her choice, we are in this storm.

    Well i should say, she is in this storm.
    I will not play any part of it anymore.

    The Jerry Springer episode is at an end. And I will make it my mission in life to live a happy life without her.


    She is nothing but a painful memory that hopefully will bring less and less pain the longer I go without talking to her.

  6.  

  7. #25
    Platinum Member kbbcoop77's Avatar
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    Yes this is very normal especially at her age, The grass is greener..blah blah...now that she has been dumped she feels she canít be alone so she runs back to you. I had this happen years ago, we werenít married but everything else was the exact same. I tried getting back with her cause I was young too but that lasted about 24 hours until I snapped to and realized she dumped me and caused me all the pain so F her, I told her forget it and never spoke to her again. There are plenty of women out there just like this. Keep your eyes open. Much later after 24 years together my now ex wife cheated and left me for a family friend. This happens in life. It sucks but you have to learn to rely on yourself. Donít give someone your whole heart.

  8. 07-01-2018, 02:21 PM

  9. #26
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    Another update lol.

    Ex wife unblocks me on Facebook this past Sunday on my birthday. Reblocks me today.

    I have no idea why, hell I didnít even know I was unblocked until I got a notification that she had commented on something I had commented on.


    Probably just trying to find out if Iím miserable or not.

  10. #27
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    The rejected spouse's weak/sour reactions play a major role in the continuing infidelity.

    Setting her free, and proving it with calm, somewhat aloof happiness undermines their fantasies.

  11. #28
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    You have done well and I hope you see how big of a bullet you dodged.

    When you reflect on all this try to look at it as a blessing. She actually did you a favor, sure it hurt at the beginning because of the betrayal but that is was a short lived pain like ripping off a band aid. Could you imagine a lifetime with her now? How awful would that be?

    Good luck in the Air Force and thank you for your service.

    Lost

  12. #29
    Platinum Member endy's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by lostandhurt
    You have done well and I hope you see how big of a bullet you dodged.

    When you reflect on all this try to look at it as a blessing. She actually did you a favor, sure it hurt at the beginning because of the betrayal but that is was a short lived pain like ripping off a band aid. Could you imagine a lifetime with her now? How awful would that be?

    Good luck in the Air Force and thank you for your service.

    Lost
    Yeah, I'm sure it sucks but better now than 10 years down the road. You're still really young. I think you learned... If you're dating someone and they let you know they've cheated or moved on from relationships quickly or had guys on the back burner... that's a red flag. ALWAYS remember if they can cheat on someone else, they can cheat on you.

  13. #30
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    Try a Mediation . Some one who will help you for mutual consent.

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