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Thread: Is there any hope left? What should I do?

  1. #11
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    Just an update for all you guys.
    I found out that there indeed was another man.
    And it turns out it was our neighbor a 37 year old man. Sheís 24, Iím 26.

    She has blocked me on all social media, bc once I found out I posted the screenshot of her admitting to cheating on me all over Facebook. So everyone knows. Sheís also changed her number, so Iíve oretty much been forced into NC, but I would have gone NC anyways bc cheating is very black and white for me.

    Iíve found out a lot of things since all this happened. Sheís basically living with the guy right now. One of her friends that I guess felt bad for me told me that sheís over there 24/7 and doesnít go to our apartment expect to feed the cat, and get clothes. Otherwise sheís over at his place. Her friend also told me that the weekend after she filed for divorce she took him to Savannah, Georgia, that one hurt like hell bc thatís were we went on our yearly anniversaries when we dated.

    This woman literally left a 6 year relationship, a 10 month marriage, for a 37 year old man. I must have been a god awful husband.

    Itís just crazy, her irrational fear I would leave her for someone else, her constantly accusing me of cheating, and SHES the one that does it. Telling me Iím emotionally abusive when sheís the one that started all the fighting, sheís the one that would tell me I couldnít hangout with my friends bc she didnít trust them.

    Cheaters rewrite history so they donít feel bad about what they did. I could have never done this to her.

    Our divorce was finalized about a week ago, Iím still holding onto hope that she wakes up bc honestly all I want is a damn apology. But I will probably never get one.

    Being replaced, being cheated on, being left for another man, itís probably the worst feelings Iíve ever felt in my entire life. I pray to find peace one day. Until then, Iím going to continue going to IC, the gym, and immerse myself in my job.

    Thank you all for reading and for any advice you can give.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Wow. Sorry this happened. In retrospect what were the signs? In the long run she'll be stuck with this guy and you'll be free to meet quality women. It doesn't seem like it now, but you dodged a bullet. This isn't about you, it's about her immaturity and bad choices.
    Originally Posted by Bulldawg2010
    I found out that there indeed was another man. And it turns out it was our neighbor a 37 year old man. Sheís 24, Iím 26.

  3. #13
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    Well according to my counselor Iíve ignored a lot of signs and red flags throughout our relationship. I would have to go all the way back to the second or third month of us dating for the first one. Back then there was a thing going on Facebook where it was like message me a number and Iíll post a status of what I think about you. One of her co workers messaged her ď69Ē and she messaged back what? Then he said I would do that to you, then she said ďwhat else would you do to me?Ē That was all, and she ended up telling me about it and showing me the messages the next day. But who would have thought, she showed she was a cheater before I fell in love with her. I chalked it up to her being single and immature for so long, she was 18 when this happened, but no she showed me very early on that she was capable of cheating.

    Another sign was the stories she herself told me throughout our relationship. Sheís always told me when sheís done with someone sheís done. Her first boyfriend before they broke up, she had been talking to someone behind his back, so no amount of begging/ pleading was gonna change her mind. She already liked this guy, as soon as the broke up the guy she was talking to behind her boyfriends back stopped talking to her and started talking to someone else. This happened when she was 15. Sheís always told me sheís never gone back to anyone, she doesnít have any regrets.

    Other signs that I ignored, her constantly accusing ME of cheating, if a woman liked my stuff on Facebook, well it was obvious to her that we were talking. If I forgot to tell her when I got to work, well then I wasnít at work. One time she even DROVE BY MY WORK, said she didnít see my car so I wasnít there. I had to FaceTime her to prove to her I was where I said I was.

    She also had an irrational fear I would leave her for someone better. We use to have almost monthly conversations where I would have to reassure her I was happy and wasnít going anywhere.

    one of the last things she told me, was that she regretted marrying me, bc there was never 100% trust, that we shouldnít have been together for as long as we were. I stupidly did have 100\% trust, but she never trusted me the way I did her.

    Now Iím questioning if she ever really loved me. Sure 95% of the time, I was happy and we made some great memories. But what I expierenced in the last three months isnít love.

    Before all this happened, two weeks before all this happened, we were looking at buying houses. She told me she was unhappy for months, so she was pretending to be happy, making me think we were going to continue our life together. But she was planning on leaving me for the first guy that showed any interest in her at all. I couldnít do that to my worst enemy, I wouldnít be able to pretend, to look at houses, to tell them I loved them every night before we went to sleep. What she did to me, it was evil.

    That canít be love can it?

  4. #14
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    Dude, you got off so easy! Take some time to truly appreciate this (just read some other stories of guys getting divorce raped). Eff the feels and all that nonsense. It's your time now to really learn who you are. Punani will come and go - that's life. Do not make it your first priority. Go and travel or do something you haven't been able to, because you were with her. Do not, under any circumstance, try and rush into the next "relationship."

  5.  

  6. #15
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    Yup, everyone has told me Iíve gotten off so easy. That I should look at it as a blessing and not a curse. Yíall are right. Slowly but surely Iím looking at it like that.

    Funny thing, one of my best friends was going through something similar about 2 years ago. His fiancťe just out of the blue didnít want him anymore. I told him there was probably someone else. He didnít dig, and heís met a woman that is twice as good as his ex. By the time his fiancťe reached out to him a year later, he was indifferent to her words.

    I just have too get through what is probably the only and worst depression Iíve ever been in to get to that point. But I refuse to let this that I didnít think my wife was, beat me down and make me lose myself in the process.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Bulldawg2010
    .

    Funny thing, one of my best friends was going through something similar about 2 years ago. His fiancťe just out of the blue didnít want him anymore. I told him there was probably someone else. He didnít dig, and heís met a woman that is twice as good as his ex. By the time his fiancťe reached out to him a year later, he was indifferent to her words.

    I just have too get through what is probably the only and worst depression Iíve ever been in to get to that point. But I refuse to let this that I didnít think my wife was, beat me down and make me lose myself in the process.
    follow this good example set by your friend. when you got good friends, you can heal from this and start with someone new.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    Do some reading on this forum and you will see your story over and over again.

    You loved her and ignored some signs your probably should have picked up on bit this forum is full of people just like you. It is called trust, faith and love. You were open and honest and she wasn't and will probably never be her whole life. Don't beat yourself up just because you fell in love with a person like her. It was her doing, not yours.

    Learn from this, heal and when you are ready open your heart again and someone better will find you.

    Lost

  9. #18
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    Sooo another update for you guys.

    Ex wife decided to put a TPO on me about two weeks ago. We went to court last Thursday and the judge threw it out bc I havenít contacted or seen her in two months.

    Found out she only did it bc of me exposing her affair on Facebook. No one believes her side of the story. Sheís mad.

    Jesus Christ I donít think Iíll ever get an apology from this woman, not that I need one honestly. I wouldnít believe her.

    A 24 year old wife cheats on her 26 year old husband with a 37 year old man. My life feels like a Jerry Springer episode. I mean hell she moved in with him like two or three days after she filed for divorce.

    I seriously canít believe I had to go to court for a restraining order. This woman has lost her dang mind.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Don't waste your time on revenge and court cases. It's a headache you don't need.
    Originally Posted by Bulldawg2010
    me exposing her affair on Facebook. I seriously canít believe I had to go to court for a restraining order.

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Don't waste your time on revenge and court cases. It's a headache you don't need.
    Well itís too late for that. I went to court, embarrassed her. I bet she hates me for that too.

    Hopefully this was the last time I have to deal with this woman. Hopefully.

    But I just have a feeling that itís not.

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