I'm a mess again

Broke up with my girlfriend 6 months ago, longest I have gone no contact was 8 days. We still talked and really got, 2 weeks ago we went away together and everything was perfect. Holding my hand cuddling me, pretty much like I was back in a relationship. Then we got home, she stayed over at my house and again things were great. Then the following day she drops the bombshell.... We can't keep doing this we aren't getting back together and give me space. I feel like I'm back at square 1 again and now constantly texting or ringing asking to see her to talk. She again has asked for space but I find it so hard to let go. I wanted to spend my life with this women.

Hey brotha. Give her space man. Respect her and yourself. Work on what you know needs to be worked on and if things are meant to be she'll hit you up one day in the future. Who knows, you might be able to have another opportunity with her, but let HER come to you, not the other way around. And if she does come back play it cool. Don't talk about anything serious. Be fun and keep things light. You're pretty much starting from scratch. But until then go completely NC and trust me, she'll grow so much respect for you. But not if you keep contacting her, trust me. We know it's hard, truuust that we know. But do it for yourself and for her.

Why did you break up? Have you addressed those problems? Are you just hooking up here and there now?

02-06-2018:I split up with my girlfriend of 3 years 4 months ago. I have given her no space what so ever which is all she asked for, longest I've done is 7 days. Yesterday we came back to my house and she stayed the night and we had sex however today she said she's confused she regrets it and still needs space and that we wont get back together.

According to this thread, something similar happened in February:

https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=546941

It sounds like she comes to you when she's bored or lonely, but really doesn't want to reconcile. You have to stop letting these hang-outs happen too. It's messing with your mind too much.

Why did she initially break up with you?

She can't miss you when you're constantly bombarding her. Back off. Nothing makes us not attracted to an ex more than them not respecting us and our wishes. You probably look needy.

Don't take anytime spent together nor sex to mean anything. People act in the moment and change their minds soon after.

Unles an ex clearly says they want to be together and work things out, you have to treat every hang out as a fleeting moment. No expectations. That's why unless you've detached emotionally you shouldn't be spending any time with an ex.

I kissed another girl and was sending flirty messages. Totally my fault. And that's what hurts the most I've ruined my own life. I really know I should let go but find it so hard, I think the worst 24/7 and think she has met someone else when deep down I know she hasn't.

I kissed another girl and was sending flirty messages. Totally my fault. And that's what hurts the most I've ruined my own life. I really know I should let go but find it so hard, I think the worst 24/7 and think she has met someone else when deep down I know she hasn't.

And how do you know that?

Exes are often the very last people to find out.

Who cares if you kissed one girl or 10, you are broken up. Unless you did it when you were together?

There's a lot of self blame across these forums lately. Think first before touching someone else while in a relationship. You can avoid a lot of problems.

Yorkshire, you've got to stop clinging. Go to Al Turtle dot com (no spaces) and start reading at "What to do when he/she leave you". I know you broken up, but there's valuable information there. Very valuable, but I'm going to summarize it here:

Don't be too available. For her to want you back, she has to feel the void where you were. Apparently, there isn't enough oxygen in the room when you're in it together, so don't call her, wait for her to call or text you. And don't pick up or answer every time, make her wait a little because if you appear needy, she's going to run further and faster than you can imagine. (See the part below about staying busy...)

Stop pushing. The way to get a deer to eat from your hand is to be very still and quiet.

Enjoy your life to the fullest. Stay busy (part of not being too available) and create a little curiosity.

Become more interesting. Do new things, pick up a new hobby (photography?), take a class (French cooking? Guitar?). Do something surprising.

I know it's hard when you love someone so deeply, but you have to think long term, delay gratification. It's important to learn patience or you'll never get what you want.

Good luck!

Thank you. I know I have been to available for the last 6 months and let her come and go as she pleases. I'm scared if I go no c9ntact she won't contact me and move on with someone else. It has got.to the point I am obsessed with her and think about her 24/7 to the point of making myself ill. I feel like I've been on a emotional rollercoaster.

Thank you. I know I have been to available for the last 6 months and let her come and go as she pleases. I'm scared if I go no c9ntact she won't contact me and move on with someone else. It has got.to the point I am obsessed with her and think about her 24/7 to the point of making myself ill. I feel like I've been on a emotional rollercoaster.

She'll do that anyway, if she really wants to.

Remaining at her beck and call won't stop her from moving on, if she truly doesn't want to be with you. She'll just do the fade-out when that time comes.

Sorry to hear that this relationship has been tough to get over, and that reconciliation hasn't been successful. I've had situations in the past where I felt strongly tempted to try to get back together with my girlfriend, but in the end, the things that separated you in the first place are likely things that aren't going to be easily reparable. Emotions can be very fleeting.

Have you guys ever been able to talk honestly about why you would or wouldn't work together? Though those talks are hard to initiate, they often clarify a lot for each person involved. Do you have friends you can spend time with or get closer to in this time to keep your mind off of things? Or some new hobby or activity you can pursue? Hoping that moving on gets easier, and that the courage comes to go without contact when it's healthier.