What is up with me

I've posted a lot of threads but I really do wonder why I can't get over my ex

Positives-

Made us official

Showed me off to family and friends

Said and showed he loved me (holding hands said I love you, would both make food for each other go on dates)

Saw me a lot during the week

Would call me each morning afternoon

Took me on holiday with all his family

Paid for a lot 50/50

Would let me stay at his house / parents house

Keys to his flat

Talk about a future

Negatives

Took cocaine at home

Flirted in front of me

Sex toys were stolen by cousins friends friends at at 'Party' whilst he was away

Called me a little cu't and spoilt b"itch

Never went out just us on holiday he went golf I sat with his family

Never introduced me to girls he was speaking to on nights out

Druggie friends Round in the middle of the night

Called me the wrong name whilst away (another girl with similar name)

Cancelled on my brother for a hangover

Cancelled on me for football/hangover

Never could get hold of him on a night out

Why can't I see all the negatives and just picture him me and a wedding in the future grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr 😔

Also now with the ex ex (ex of the ex prior who text during our relationship)

Have you talked to a professional?

Is it possible that men are a distraction from your own life? Do you believe that life without a man is boring or pointless?

Sheesh, a lot of those negatives would be deal breakers for me. Even some of the positives depending on how long you were together.

Maybe you were love bombed?

You need to experience what a loving, caring, respectful relationship is, and then you'll see this whole thing is a s*** show.

Take him off the pedestal and find a good decent guy to treat you right.

Holly I have spoken to a therapist two actually luckily I've started a weekly one so fingers crossed! Bolt and run no I don't think life without one is pointless I just am getting to the age of wanting to settle down! I guess that is out the window for the moment until I get better. Please do not definitely could have been love bombed he said it very early on 🙄 Yes sweet girl you are correct I guess I just thought he was lovely until later on in the relationship (but still honeymoon stage)

Good. When you get healthy, you will find someone who treats you properly. Give yourself at least six months before dating.

Good. When you get healthy, you will find someone who treats you properly. Give yourself at least six months before dating.

You need to move some of those positives to negatives.

"Paid for a lot 50/50." So he never treated you to anything? What a cheap bastard!

"Would let me stay at his house / parents house." You're his girlfriend. Why wouldn't he let you stay at his house?

"Keys to his flat." Again, because you're his girlfriend. No skin off his nose.

"Talk about a future." Yeah, but didn't mean it.

"Said he loved me." But did he mean it?

"Made us official." Only words.

"Saw me a lot during the week." Probably so he could have sex with you.

So really, I don't see any redeeming social value in him. I would say you're emotionally dependent on him rather than being in love with him. Move on.

And weren't the "positives" for only something like 7 weeks?

You need to move some of those positives to negatives.

 

"Paid for a lot 50/50." So he never treated you to anything? What a cheap bastard!

"Would let me stay at his house / parents house." You're his girlfriend. Why wouldn't he let you stay at his house?

"Keys to his flat." Again, because you're his girlfriend. No skin off his nose.

"Talk about a future." Yeah, but didn't mean it.

"Said he loved me." But did he mean it?

"Made us official." Only words.

"Saw me a lot during the week." Probably so he could have sex with you.

 

So really, I don't see any redeeming social value in him. I would say you're emotionally dependent on him rather than being in love with him. Move on.

I agree

He never paid your way?

Raise your expectations!

He did pay for dinners and contributed to meals. So did treat me I meant I treated him also (drove a substantial distance/paid for cinema/takeaways also).

He booked my flights with his family. So was treating me

No 3.5 months of good 6 weeks of terrible :)

It's normal to remember the positives when you break up with someone.

You just have to force yourself to focus on the bad and be realistic as to what your life would be like with that person.

So, almost half of your relationship was terrible.

Expect a lot more from your partners.

No 3.5 months of good 6 weeks of terrible :)

How long do you think the "good times" would last, then, if you two somehow did get married?

Your "good things" are so very basic. But the bad things are completely awful.

Really not sure 🤔 the bad things... I guess are not normal especially week after week! Wasn't even really that nice in between 🙄😩🎢