Freelancing Nightmare

So a couple weeks ago, I got a response from an application I put in for a freelancing job for some video editing through a freelancing site. Excited, having this being my first freelancing job, I agreed to meet up later that day to discuss the project. As it was after work, and I didn't have an external drive with me (not something I normally carry with me), he (the client) went and bought a 2tb drive (worth about $100) as a deposit in return for my services and to transfer the media on for me to take home and work on. When I met with him at the public library, I've spent a somewhat excruciating 3 hours with him looking through and discussing the material and what he wanted done with it, which took way longer than I thought would be normal. I thought it would be just a quick meetup where he'd give a brief outline of what he wanted done, plus he could have had the files already transported to the drive by then, (as he had alot of time) but nope, when I got there, he was just trying to figure out how to format the drive to make it usable for Mac. I had to call my boyfriend for tech support so he could talk him through it. As I sat there, I just wanted to go home but as this was my first gig, I grinned and bared it, ignoring the red flags with this person.

First of all, he was going on about how other people have wronged him, how bad the camera people were, and basically having nothing nice to say about anyone except how brilliant he is. Another thing that made me uncomfortable was while the files finally started transferring to the drive, he mentioned that we both go eat somewhere and I'm thinking "hell no!". But we just sat there as he kept talking about what he wanted done, then it was finally closing time for the library. Still, I agreed to do the job as I took the drive, said goodbye and left. I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could, not even stopping to use the washroom even though I had to go.

The next day, as I was about to work on the project, ironically, my editing software was no longer working, (probably a sign from the universe) so I panicked and had to tell him that I don't have software to work on, so he sent me a bunch of info and resources where I could get some good freeware from, which I ended up doing, thankfully finding a good program that actually does alot which was somewhat of a relief (at the time). And as this was on the day before the weekend, and had family stuff going on along with regular life and what not, I was going to get started on the project on Monday. Seeing as my client said I could take my time on it, I thought it wouldn't be a problem, though this is where his long, somewhat demanding emails started coming in, and I was starting to feel stressed because of his intense way of describing how we should be keeping closer contact how I need to respond more swiftly. Then, I felt it was time for me to start setting boundaries so I wrote back an email, in the most diplomatic way setting my parameters and what I'm more comfortable with. He seemed to agree so I carried on with the project.

Next thing, not to get too into detail about the technical problems dealing with the large file formats and how I could convert/compress them to be able to work on them, it took me an entire excruciating day trying to figure it out, but by the end of the day, I finally conquered the problem so I could finally start editing (while sending emails, basically having to spell everything out for him on what was going on.) Then when I was done the first cut, I had to set up a time to connect with him on skype which was yesterday so I could show what I've done. When we were talking, he wanted me to go onto this live video screen sharing site which I've never went on before. Already feeling nervous and shaky, he was being very pushy and demanding on trying to tell me how to set it up, making it even more stressful for me. Once it was finally set up, and just not even a few seconds after playing the video, he instantly started tearing it apart. So I just told him that I'll go make some changes and get back to him later. When I finally disconnected from that convo, I was feeling such super stress and anxiety, I was just trying to take some time out while he was still constantly texting me on skype telling me that I should get back on the screen sharing site so he could go over and discuss the takes (basically try to micro manage) with me. Not being comfortable with this at all for a variety of reasons including violation of privacy I just wanted to quit, so I skype texted him explaining how I was feeling and that I cannot work on the project anymore. Then he wanted to talk to me on the phone and even after I told him I didn't want to talk on the phone, he was still persistent.

Then he was telling me how much this is going to screw him over, not understanding how I can actually just send him a compressed file online without him having to constantly look over my shoulder. Finally, we both agreed that I could just send him that one cut with changes made and I'd be done dealing with him and the project as he sent me a google drive link. I told him that I'll just finish it and send it to him later. As I was working on it, he still kept texting me, telling me we could still talk through skype instead of texting, even though I've made it clear that I don't want to talk on the phone. At that point, I felt that I had to block him, so I did. I could not take anymore notifications on my phone or anywhere as it was making my guts ache and felt I had no other choice. At this time, I still haven't quite finished the cut as I need to take a mental break from the whole thing. Although I'm not sure it was right for me to block him, I felt I had no other choice. Blocking people is something I hardly ever feel the need to do unless it feels like my mental/emotional health is at stake, but since I've blocked him, I'm at least feeling a little more peace of mind, not feeling afraid to look at my phone or computer unless he sends another email which I haven't gotten since yesterday.

But, here is one thing that I've learned so far: When someone gets pushy, intimidates you, or messes with your peace of mind, there is always a choice to cut the ties. No one needs to feel obligated to let others make them feel small, invade their privacy, or steel their energy. There is always a choice to stand up for your own mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Also, always always pay attention to your gut!

I don't know what else to do at this point, except I know I should at least finish the damn thing (although I'm so sick and tired of it), send him the file and be on my way. I just don't know what to say in the message when I do.

And to be honest, after this and the way I feel I actually don't think I'll want to freelance again. But if I do, I'll make crystal clear, solid boundaries next time.

I've freelanced in video production and to be blunt, you didn't know what you were doing. That made your job more difficult and made the client even more nervous. And a client doesn't want to hear how you have other things to do, you don't have the right software, you don't know how to compress video and you don't know how to format a hard drive. Of course, the client used you because you were cheap. I'm guessing you were charging below market rate, and the client sounds like an amateur or a fanatic. At any rate, I agree with you that you shouldn't take another freelance gig until you know what you're doing.

You're right. I should've had more experience in video production and that has crossed my mind. I should've even thought of that before I applied to the job, though I didn't even think that I would get a response. I've even tried to convince him that maybe I'm not a fit for the job but he still insisted that I was the one to work on the project.

(tried to edit last one with more info, so here's a new one) I've actually gone to school for video production but that was a long time ago and I just thought that maybe I'd like to get back into it. When I saw the ad, it looked like something I could do. One of the biggest technical issues was working with .r3d files which is a format I've never worked with before but I've figured (out on my own) how to make them usable. It's just a bit unnerving, after I tried to tell him that maybe I shouldn't be the one doing it, that he couldn't just find someone else. The whole thing has been a giant learning experience, in more ways than one, that's for sure.

The good news is you were able to adapt, remain humble, and learn the things you didn’t know. The bad news is you shared the dirty laundry (that you didn’t know it) with the client and relied on the client to talk you through it.

His micromanaging probably had to do with his personality + his stress over the looming timeline and lack of assurances from you that it could be completed in that timeline.

I don’t hire out video editing but I hire voiceover artists for my web based training. They had a 24-48 hour turnaround time on all work. And if I need anything redone (like a word they mispronounced on a particular slide), they are available to make the change within 24-48 hours also. So, basically, if you’re going to take on a project, I’d be extremely available or extremely transparent about any non-availability. That would make me very nervous if I didn’t hear back from one of my voiceover artists in a few days, but if they wrote back right away acknowledging my request and letting me know a date and time it would be complete, that would make me feel much more comfortable.

I guess if you were on one of those horrible 'race to the bottom' sites like freelancer etc, you'd attract these sorts of clients. Get them to have everything organised first, before an initial meeting.