He broke up with me, How to get over him?

Hello Everyone,

My guy broke up with me a few days ago and it was really over nothing, he blew up over something so tiny that didn't make much sense and he blocked me and told me to never contact him again. How do I get over him? it's only been a few days but I am now obsessing with my thoughts, feeling worthless, useless and not worthy of someone loving me (due to previous failed relationships) I feel like it's always something wrong with someone. I keep crying here and there but I feel like I am holding this anger inside, like I want to scream.

How could he just throw away what we had over something as low as a -1 on a scale of 1-10. Seems like he probably is dealing with some other issues cause there is no way. Is he still thinking of me? will he regret it? and will karma serve him? i just don't think it's right for people to hurt people and just happily move on without any emotion. I wonder when he lay down at night does his conscience start speaking to him and he feel guilty, I don't know guys. Advice is welcomed, I'm losing it over here. fyi (we've been together for a year and a half)

Thanks

I am sorry this happened to you.

I think often times when someone blows up over something that seems insignificant,

they were just looking for dust-up to have an excuse to bail.

If you don't give them a reason to have a conflict, they'll go as far as to make one up.

I wish I had a crystal ball - but he's most likely thinking of you,

but just because we still think of someone doesn't mean that we want to return to them.

Just hold tight, find some support through friends and family and don't contact him.

Thank you for your response, I appreciate it. I feel so alone. I have been getting advice from family but it's not realistic. They are telling me to get over it and let it go. I intend to but doing that in less than a week. c'mon now. *sign* it hasn't been much time to even allow myself to get over someone in a couple days.

Thanks again for responding to me.

Lauren, whatever is wrong with him is something he has to deal with.

Have you thought about journaling? When I decided to go very LC with my ex, I'd write my rage out. Also, I decided to make a list of reasons I should be happy he left and the insults he slung at me in an effort to make me feel worthless (he was good at it...I had to rebuild my self-esteem from the gutter up before making the list). My goal was 10. In the end, I had a written list of over 100!

Try a similar list. Maybe you come to realize, as I did, that I was sooooo lucky he was gone and felt relief.

I did journal my feelings the last separation but I was just in a bad place I said I didn't want to do that again but maybe I should. I did make a list of the annoying things he did and his many flaws and yuck he was a hand full, the bad outweighed the good. We actually got back together after that, I'm sure I was settling and didn't want to be lonely, now we're back broken up. I think I will start writing tonight. Thank you for your response.

I wish you had told us what the reason he broke up with you was. But in cases like this, guys usually do this to try to control and manipulate you. Either he's trying to get you to come begging him to take you back or he's going to show up with flowers and chocolates begging you to take him back. And that way he would he starting a cycle of emotional abuse against you and emotional dependency on your part. Just don't fall for it if he comes knocking at your door. And don't go back to him either.

Cry it out. This is sad, but you know, we don´t own anyone. Be better for your self. You feel lost because you were building a life with him, but your now on your own again. You are shaken up because your everyday life is now different and because you loved him very much. To be honest, you deserve your self more respect. People should want to be with us freely, you should not go chasing after him when he is being insensitive and bailing out on you. Be a better person. Don´t look for him. It´s hard and you want to be close to him and you will try to find any excuse to justify going after him, but take this moment to talk to your self. Understand what it is that you want from him that you can´t give your self. Love and respect your self, no one should treat you like that. Lots of love and good vibes my friend.

Hey Lauren0020. This same exact thing happened to me 3 weeks ago. I am 2 weeks NC with him. Try to keep yourself occupied. Blast out music if you have to. I am still dealing with my emotions. Today I broke down at work because it's too much to take but some guys just take us for granted and later down the road when they realise what they have done because they can't find a replacement, they would find some way to come back into your life. I cant tell you not to take him back because it is your decision to make. He will be thinking about you but don't think about that. If he loved you he would not have broken up with you. Karma will definitely get them. Lets just hope we're around to see when Karma gets them. We are better off without these type of men.

Thanks Dan, He broke up with me because I sent him a text asking for us to spend more time with each other because he started working 2 jobs, then he called me and I we started to get into it then I said I shouldn't have even sent the text in the first place prying because its just causing problems and he said he didn't care what I did and to not call him again and hung up and put me on the block list, I didn't understand because that's no reason to be done with a person because I'm trying to make an attempt to hang out because of his "busy schedule"

Stephanie thanks for much, it's so early in the morning and I'm already crying. I thought I would cry last night (I was actually planning on it) taking a hot bath and just cry but instead I started a journal like AutumnBorn suggested and I didn't cry, I just went to sleep. Now I'm crying this morning. I know what I deserve. I'm really sad because its suddenly over and I'm all alone and I just keep thinking about him carrying on being happy without me. I think I'm never going to find anyone or have a family or children and its tearing me up. I appreciate your words. Thank you friend.

He gave you displaced anger. There's something deeper going on with him.

Rest assured, he isn't done yet. He will unblock and contact you, no doubt.

Two breakups already is not a good sign. Best to let him go now and heal and then move on to someone who can handle conflict and talk it out rather than acting like a child throwing a temper tantrum.

Give yourself time, you need it.

You are better off right now, try and keep NC going, I am 4 days in and my my my I'm starting to think I'm mental now and need to be in an institution or detox place like I'm on drugs or something. Its just my mind talking because im actually pretty sane, atleast I think. I bet your guy try and come back, I just feel it. They do always regret it even from previous relationships, guys that did me wrong always came back monthssss later or even a years later and apologized. He never fails. Were gonna get thru this. I'm just hoping sooner than later cause I dont want to feel like this I dont even have an appetite to eat. *sigh* thanks again for your reply. I truly appreciate it, having someone to talk to. I think my family and friends are tired of hearing the same crap over and over.

You are better off right now, try and keep NC going, I am 4 days in and my my my I'm starting to think I'm mental now and need to be in an institution or detox place like I'm on drugs or something. Its just my mind talking because im actually pretty sane, atleast I think. I bet your guy try and come back, I just feel it. They do always regret it even from previous relationships, guys that did me wrong always came back monthssss later or even a years later and apologized. He never fails. Were gonna get thru this. I'm just hoping sooner than later cause I dont want to feel like this I dont even have an appetite to eat. *sigh* thanks again for your reply. I truly appreciate it, having someone to talk to. I think my family and friends are tired of hearing the same crap over and over.

Friends and family are biased because they know the relationship and they care for you so they want you to just move on and get over it sometimes. But in reality that tough love isn't effective. It takes time to heal. Even if you have one trusted friend who will listen and offer support, it's all you need. The ones who brush it off you should try not talking about it with because you will just feel worse and it may make you want to reach out to him because you don't want to hear what they are telling you.

Absolutely. Thank you SweetGirl. You are right he does have deeper issues, were adults. Why not just keep calm and talk about it? Running and acting childish, no good. And yes the 2nd breakup. That's two many and all because of him. Last break up I broke NC and when I called him he sounded ecstatic to hear from me we've been doing great every since and now this and he told me he never wanted that to ever happen again and he would actually listen to me and talk disagreements out and now look.

Absolutely. Thank you SweetGirl. You are right he does have deeper issues, were adults. Why not just keep calm and talk about it? Running and acting childish, no good. And yes the 2nd breakup. That's two many and all because of him. Last break up I broke NC and when I called him he sounded ecstatic to hear from me we've been doing great every since and now this and he told me he never wanted that to ever happen again and he would actually listen to me and talk disagreements out and now look.

I have an ex who was exactly the same way. Then he'd try to keep coming back. You just have to get to the breaking point where you say enough is enough because what you see is what you get. Imagine a partner like that for the long term with kids and real struggles. He'd handle it by blowing up and walking out. You'd be in a constant cycle of walking on eggshells wondering what would set him off next and if he was going to leave again. It's so emotionally taxing to be with someone who deals with stress by exploding being stubborn. First signs of a hot temper I detect in a guy and I'm out. Hopefully if someone else acts this way you'll see it quickly and get out because a part of having a healthy lasting relationship is being able to communicate effectively without breaking up. That doesn't resolve the conflict. But it's easier sometimes to just walk away which is why so many relationships fail.

True. Yes I'm going to take a break from speaking to them about it. They told me "move on!!!!" Like dag ok but that usually doesnt take 72 hours to do so.

Ohmygoodness you should be a therapist, your advice and words of comfort are on point. Thanksss. I was saying the same thing and we've actually discussed starting a family, marriage and all of that. I was thinking he would leave us and bail out and divorce me or block me over a simple argument.

After reading this thread I’m going to start journaling or doing a blog.

Do you guys find this really useful?

I see a lot of people on this site have done this.

Ohmygoodness you should be a therapist, your advice and words of comfort are on point. Thanksss. I was saying the same thing and we've actually discussed starting a family, marriage and all of that. I was thinking he would leave us and bail out and divorce me or block me over a simple argument.

Lol, thanks. Life experience :) I do hope you feel better soon sweetie :)

After reading this thread I’m going to start journaling or doing a blog.

 

Do you guys find this really useful?

I see a lot of people on this site have done this.

Do it. Write, write, write. Just never send anything to the ex. Ever.

It's a great release of feelings and emotions and provides clarity when you see your words written.

You can also see progress you make. And keep a list of all the negative, and post it where you can see it because as time passes, you start to forget the bad and only remember the good, and that can make you weak again and want to reach out.

Even in moments of weakness remember that contact can be just as painful , if not more , than no contact.

I will do!

We haven’t spoken since Saturday, but last week it was contact on and off but now it’s NC even thought he wants me to keep in touch??!

Strange

Yes try journaling, write out your emotions/frustrations and things that you would say to the person. It helps. I'm going to continue to write this evening.

Thank You so much!

Sorry to hear this. Have there been breakups before? How did you get along overall? Don't think of things as failed relationships, but rather you weren't suited for each other.

I am now obsessing with my thoughts, feeling worthless, useless and not worthy of someone loving me due to previous failed relationships.

Just one previous breakup a few months ago. I broke NC and we worked things out and vowed to talk things through and not allow that to happen again, well we had a disagreement months later and he did the same thing again smh. I think we got along well, he made me laugh alot but he did have some ways about him that I use to "tolerate" keep quiet to not start a fuss. He has to be right all the time, in his eyes he does no wrong, never apologizes makes excuses for his actions and never take responsibility. For instance this break up according to him would be my fault. "He is perfect" please.