My new LDR

I will start from the very beginning... So I started talking to this guy on Tinder, which transferred to instagram really quickly! We clicked really weirdly where we skipped the usual boring talks that occur in beginning (work etc.) and talked about all other kinds of stuff where that made me really like him even more (eventually I learned all the basic stuff about him tho)! After 2 weeks he wanted me to come meet him, stay in his family’s house and just be with him! So since I couldn't afford to buy a ticket for my self cuz I will go to the US soon, HE decided to buy it for me. During the time between me actually coming and him buying my ticket we used to be in contact every single day. Some days our communication was bad as in 2-3 messages, and other days it would be great as in 3 hr long chat and 1hr phone calls. I would also like to note that he is 10 years older than me (im 23 he is 33) so he is really busy with his work since they own a family business and his parents are giving him more and more work in order to pass major part onto him while I am still at university. So I went to see him (btw we are 2.5 hrs plane ride away) and everything went MORE THAN GREAT! We clicked the first day, got veeeeerryyy comfortable with each other and our sexual chemistry also proved to be as awesome as we both felt during texting.

I stayed only 4 days because i was scared to accept more since i would be staying with a person I hadn't met before, and we did talk about us and everything and he would always say that I am the one being pessimistic about it, or when i asked if he thinks it is impossible for everything to work out he told me that it is as impossible as other people’s relationships... i used to ask several times whether he will forget me and he would always say “no, don't be stupid”, and when I was leaving to the airport he told me he hasn't felt like this in a while... when I asked him whether I am in a relationship now he answered that I do have a boyfriend and I (as a joke) said that i wont go then to this date I have when I come back home... he didn't take this well and asked me why i brought that up And that He cant really stop me from doing it if I want to... we settled it down but he did get a bit mad at me for saying that since why would I joke about something like that if a chance for that didn't exist...also, while I was there he would bring me to restaurants and places where people knew him, I didnt feel like he was trying to hide me... at some point while walking we would see people he knew and he didn't try to avoid them in any way, but would say hi or even have a small talk with them... I met his sister and her boyfriend, younger brother and his fiance and parents of course and everything truly went well (btw he told them that I am his friend, but I think everyone figured out what is going on)

Now my problem here is our communication which is not like 24/7 since he truly always has something to do or somewhere to go and doesn't constantly have phone in his hands.. For example if we were cuddling and he would get messages he wouldn't care to go and check them immediately....

Now I know I roughly explained everything but I would also like to get to hear other peoples opinions about this! I have trust issues since I was cheated on in previous relationships (and my 1st LDR I had before this where he just went back to his ex) so I have a lot of fears about this one... Would a 30yr old guy really be playing with someone like that? Why would he bother to pay for my ticket if his intentions were not serious? Being 10 years older he should be more mature than having an LDR and flirting around, right?

Also, he will come in 2 months to my country (which was planned before we even started talking) but that will be only for 3 days and he will have to spend time with his friends and I will also be prepairing to leave to the US for 4 months so I just have major fears and insecurities about all of this and i dont know how to deal with it... I should be more mature about this shouldnt I?

It's unclear why you are repeatedly pursuing LDRs when you know that they won't go far and when in the past it led to your being cheated on. Perhaps you like action/adventure and don't want more than that? An elaborate long weekend hookup doesn't necessarily lead to a relationship.

I dont see how this whole thing looked like a loong weekend hookup, because for me it sure didnt feel like that... I had only 1 ldr before this and I will pursue them because I believe in them, deff not the adventure... i think you didnt really understand my point well...

Would a 30yr old guy really be playing with someone like that? Why would he bother to pay for my ticket if his intentions were not serious?

Sex.

Being 10 years older he should be more mature than having an LDR and flerting around

So, I am not allowed to have LDRs or to flirt? Because I am old? I mean, LDRs are stupid, and I am experienced enough to know they don't often work out. But not everyone knows that. Older people desire connections too and we don't hang out in bars, get drunk and do stupid things as often as the younger crowd do just to get laid, but some do.

I actually agree (as always) with Wiseman. While this may not have seemed like a weekend hookup to you, it sure looks like it from his side. And he is setting up another one too on his visit to your country and is only seeing you for 3 days.

If you have insecurity issues, I would suggest staying away from LDRs.

LDRs have a higher risk of failure because you're not dating at a normal pace. It's expensive. You don't get to regularly enjoy 3D company with him/her.

The larger the age gap, the higher risk of failure. Look up the statistics.

"i asked if he thinks it is impossible for everything to work out he told me that it is as impossible as other people’s relationships... i used to ask several times whether he will forget me and he would always say “no, don't be stupid”, "

Your low self esteem shouts to men: I'm a pitiful, shrinking violet who will constantly hound you for proof of your love, groveling at your feet for any breadcrumbs you're kind enough to throw.

If you have trust issues, don't get into a new relationship until they are resolved. The new guy doesn't deserve to do the time for a crime he didn't commit.

When I did OLD, I limited my dating to 50 miles within my home. I had to go on numerous dates within several years to find my future husband, and was never out more than the cost of a cup of coffee for that date. You have to date a boatload of men to find the one who meets all of your major needs. Doing this with long distance dating will take 10 times longer than normal dating and the money spent is astronomical. I believe that subconsciously, people who aren't ready for anything real seek out something less likely to work. Fix your problems and maybe you can choose a smarter dating strategy for yourself. Good luck.