Can I go back without him feeling second best?

Hi everyone,

So to cut a long story short I started talking to someone online at the start of December, we met and I liked him. I kept my options open and met another guy on the same site, we never met but continued to talk online. I wanted to see how things went with the first guy as we actually met in person, so when the second guy asked me for a drink I kept pushing it back as I wanted to see how things went with guy number 1! When things got serious with me and guy number 1 I told the 2nd guy I had met someone and I wanted to see how it went.

But zoom forward a few months, me and the 1st guy didn't work out. I still quite liked guy number 2, I would like to approach him again and re connect our conversation. But I think this will just make him look like second best?

It really depends on the individual and how they see that kind of stuff.

If I were you, I'd agree to meet more guys before you decide to get serious with one. This way you don't have to wonder and go backwards. Meeting up for a drink or coffee is not a commitment to anything.

Thanks DancingFool! Your advice is awesome! I only chatted with the 2nd guy on the phone once but liked the sound of him, being a single parent I don't have time to multiple date hence why I was honest with him.

I'm not entirely sure what to say to him if I do contact him? I sort of want to explain that things didn't work out with the guy, that I had met him in person which is why I wanted to see where it went first.

Tell him exactly this? Lol Are you looking for a secret formula of some sort? Just be honest and upfront, if he's a secure individual, he'll take it just fine.

Is this the same guy you posted about yesterday?

No!! This is someone I've not met yet, only spoken to on the phone about 2 months ago. It was before I got serious with the guy I was talking about yesterday, who I had met in person.I hope that makes sense! Me and the French guy are DONE!

Well I've messaged him! Wish me luck!!

Good luck!

That said, if you have time to travel to France you can make time to meet for drinks or coffee for half hour with a few different guys. Please please don't try to jump into an instant relationship with anyone. Take a bit of a wait and see approach. The reality is that you are going to eliminate 99.9% of guys immediately after that first quick meet and greet. That's not multi dating, btw, that's just dating.

Reach out. Considering you met the other guy first, your actions were understandable.

It really depends on the individual and how they see that kind of stuff.

If I were you, I'd agree to meet more guys before you decide to get serious with one. This way you don't have to wonder and go backwards. Meeting up for a drink or coffee is not a commitment to anything.

Totally agree.