I was in a toxic relationship and my ex is now engaged and pregnant and it's tearing me up inside

So when I met my ex girlfriend we worked at the same place for a few months. We were just friendly co-workers and due to this I got to know her personally in some capacity. I had a gf and she had a bf and at first it was just a friendly relationship. About 6 months into working with her I started to have feelings for her. I knew that because of this I didn't really love my current gf so I broke up with her because I thought she deserved someone who was fully committed. At this point my co-worker was still in her relationship so I did not make any moves out of respect.

 

She then started confiding in me about her current boyfriend. She told me he was an ahole and made her feel crappy. She said she wanted to break up with him. She even started telling me she was attracted to me and would make sexual jokes towards me. It got crazy enough that she sent me a picture of her bare breasts while she was still dating him. A few days after that she got in a bad fight with her bf at a bar and dumped him and started texting me all about it.

 

This guy begged to have her back in so many ways, but she did not want to get back together.

 

So we got closer as we were both now single. I wanted to take it somewhat slow since we were both fresh out of relationships, but about 2.5 months later we were an official couple.

 

We definitely had some good times but I started to realize that she had a lot of issues surrounding insecurity, controllingness, jealousy, immaturity etc. But I loved her and it was my first LTR so I stuck around. Eventually we just started butting heads too much and parted ways. We dated for 3 years. She was talking about marriage with me, etc and I just knew she wasn't the one I wanted to marry.

 

After we broke up, she got back with the ex I spoke of above 3 WEEKS later. This really tore me up inside as I treated this girl well and by her accounts this guy didn't. How could she move on so quickly and act like what we had was nothing. I know I had said I didn't want to marry her but I still deeply cared about her. Also, this guy wanted her back all along. If she could've had him whenever she wanted why did she stay with me for 3 years if she was yearning for him?

 

Now it is 7 months later and she is engaged to this guy and pregnant with his child. I was just starting to get over her and now this is bringing back whirlwinds of emotion. How could someone that I was so close with 10 months ago now have such a drastic change in her life?

 

I know I should just "move on" but its not that easy. I'm hurting big time over here and idk what to do.

It doesn't matter. You knew there was no future, due to her issues and the fights.

 

I think that this is more about your ego, and the fact that she moved on. I also think that you should do the same.

How could she move on so quickly and act like what we had was nothing.

She did to you, exactly what she did to him. Then, she went back to him.

 

You dated, you discovered you were not compatible enough to make it last a lifetime.

 

No point being hurt or jealous or even thinking about her anymore. You would never make lifetime partners so don't second guess yourself. You did the right thing in breaking up with her. She clearly has issues and I wouldn't be surprised if she's cheating on him sooner or later. She was emotionally cheating on him with you after all.

It was easy for her. She returned to an ex who was familiar to her. She's probably got pregnant and then engaged, not vice versa. You said you knew you didn't want to marry her, so try to be happy for her that's she's moving on with life. You need to do the same.

Hi Plaxi,

 

Sorry that this happened.

 

Many, many people go back to their ex, as it's so easy and familiar.

 

My question is how would you find out about her current situation? Try not to put yourself in the position to find out anything that may bring up pain.

 

Good luck, moving forward.

 

Continue putting your thoughts on here, if it helps.

Sorry to hear this. It sounds more like you dodged a bullet. She may have been doing this with him while still with you:

She then started confiding in me about her current boyfriend. She told me he was an ahole and made her feel crappy. She said she wanted to break up with him. She even started telling me she was attracted to me and would make sexual jokes towards me. It got crazy enough that she sent me a picture of her bare breasts while she was still dating him.

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